“…how did you learn to do that?” he asked me with wide eyes.
“Like I said, my sister taught it to me; she’s a therapist. You’ll meet her tomorrow.”
Luke sank down on the bench next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder and holding my hand. “I can’t wait to meet your family.”
My gut warmed a little, pulling me out of my vigilance. I had been so worried about Luke meeting my crazy family, and if I was honest with myself I was a little afraid that they would scare him away.
“That makes me so happy,” I said, leaning my head on his.
It felt so good sitting here with Luke like this in the middle of the campus. The trees around us rustled in the wind, and yellow, orange, and red leaves of fall fluttered down around us like confetti.
We enjoyed the moment together and people-watched for a little bit. As students passed by, Luke talked about their outfits and fashion sense.
It felt like I was noticing what people wore for the first time in my life.
“Socks with sandals, ew. What a slob,” Luke whispered to me as some frat guy walked by. “Might as well be wearing bunny slippers out in public.”
I had to agree that the socks and sandals combo was not okay, though if Luke hadn’t pointed it out I wouldn’t have noticed it at all.
“Oh, look at her!” Luke whispered excitedly, nodding towards a woman walking down the sidewalk with a straight posture. She looked like she knew where she was going; she looked at the path in front of her as if she had blinders on the sides of her eyes, and a sleek ponytail bobbed down her back.
“I give her a ten out of ten for fashion. That’s a Versace top, BCBG slacks, and Louboutin heels. Complimenting it all with a sleek ponytail and elegant makeup… why is she dressed like that on a day where there’s no class, though?” he asked no one in particular.
I chuckled at his commentary. It was like being on the set of Project Runway or something, listening to the sassy comments of the judges.
“You’re meant to be a fashion designer,” I said with a smile. “It would be a shame if you weren’t; you’d be missing your calling.”
He chuckled and blushed. “Well, because of you, I’m considering it,” he said.
I held him close, feeling the warmth of his body soak into me. “I think you’ll be happy.”
“I am happy. Right here,” he said snuggling into me.
I couldn’t help but agree with him.
But I couldn’t take my eye off that door his ex had gone into in DuPont Hall. It pulled a fragment of my attention away from this moment of happiness with Luke, and that was something I didn’t like.
I knew one thing for sure: Once he started class after the long weekend, he would stay safe. I’d make sure of it.
* * *
The next day, we drove up to the farmhouse on the hill overlooking the city, and I got everything prepared for the family gathering that would start in the evening. When my family got together for the Labor Day Cookout, it was always an over-the-top affair.
Me and Luke were cuddling on one of the cozy couches in the barn, staring out the open barn door, the view of the city off in the distance.
“So, what can I expect from this thing?” Luke asked nervously.
I could tell that he was a little shy of being around people. There were a lot of potential triggers that could send him into an anxiety attack; a lot of unknowns.
“Are you worried about having an episode?” I asked. I’d thought of this. “In case you do, you can always go to my room in the house. It’s upstairs, it’s quiet, and people usually stay out of that area. I’ll make sure there’s some water and Advil ready for you if you need to get away from everyone.”
He snuggled into me, molding his body to mine. “You’re too good to be true, you know that?”
I glowed at the compliment. “I’m glad you think so, Luke. I think you’re too good to be true.”
And I did. If I was honest with myself, I still thought of him as that delicate white rare bird that would fly away with any wrong movement.
He grabbed my arm around him and breathed deeply.
“So, back to what you can expect,” I said, remembering how the event had gone in past years. “Some members of my family that live far away are going to get into town this evening. They’ll stay the night at the house here, and we’ll all have a bonfire. My cousin will be one of them — she’s flying in from New York. You guys can talk over s’mores,” I said, picturing it.
“She’s the one with the good fashion sense, right?” Luke asked.
I nodded. “Yup, I guess. Though I don’t really notice fashion at all, as you know. Everyone says she’s got good taste though— I bet you two will hit it off.”
“Okay, so I’ll have her to talk to tonight,” Luke said, though his voice was still a little nervous.
“I’ll be there the whole time,” I said, squeezing him tight.
“You’ll be busy hosting; I don’t want you to have to keep an eye on me here, too,” he said.
I frowned. It was clear that he noticed me being overprotective of him back at the university yesterday. He’d sensed that my attention stayed on his ex, even though I was with him. But I let the thought run away for now.
“Seriously, I can entertain myself. I’m actually pretty good at parties — I’m a bartender, remember?”
“Oh yeah,” I said, remembering how beautiful he looked when he sat across the table from me and Jake. “Wait, how does that work with your anxiety?”
“I’ve never had an attack while bartending. Well, until that one night you came
