“Shit, I didn’t mean—”
“I know,” I interrupt him. “Today has been a lot to take in. I get it, I feel the same.”
I startle when his hands start to massage my shoulder. I didn’t even hear him walk up.
“Why didn’t you say anything? All this time when I was a bastard about your past, you never said one thing to defend yourself. Why?”
“I have my reasons,” I say dismissively and move to walk out of the room with him tailing me. After being laid bare earlier today, I’m not willing to do it all over again right after I woke up.
“Montana,” he calls, following me down the stairs. “Why do you walk away every time things get too personal?”
I don’t stop until I’m in front of the coffee maker, ignoring everyone else in the room. I pour myself a coffee, pretending Kade isn’t huffing and puffing behind me.
I turn and lean against the counter and notice not only are my dad and Lizzie in the room, Lauren is as well. All of them watching us with bright smiles on their faces.
I don’t know what is so damn amusing about this.
“Mon…” His voice drops low in frustration, clearly nearing the end of his patience.
I look at him, his annoyance at my avoidance evident by the scowl on his face. “What?”
I know I’m being particularly obstinate about this, it’s not like telling them why I didn’t say anything is a big deal after what has been revealed. But now not saying anything sounds ridiculous. I realize just how much drama could have been avoided if I said something, or they did.
“You know what. Why didn’t you tell anyone about what really happened with Adam?”
“What does it matter now?”
“Jesus, you’re stubborn.”
“Yeah, well, so are you.”
“Montana, honey,” Lizzie says from behind Kade, clearly trying to diffuse a situation that has the potential to escalate. “We all would like to know why you didn’t say anything. We would have understood. We would have been there for you.”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Then make us,” her voice is quiet, pleading nearly. And when I look at her, I can see the need to understand reflected back at me. “We aren’t her. We’d like to understand you better. Get to know you if you let us.”
“You wouldn’t have believed me. The police didn’t. The media didn’t. I was unconscious for two days after the accident, and that’s all it took for everyone to make up their minds. Even when Hanna, Adam’s mother, told the police it wasn’t me. They didn’t believe her. I don’t know what Veronika did to make them disregard everyone else, but it wasn’t a fight I was going to win. After all, I was the seventeen-year-old who’s been caught drinking and smoking weed before, who’s done stupid shit since I was fourteen.” I shrug, avoiding everyone’s eyes. “Thanks to Veronika loving the spotlight and living the society highlife with her boyfriends and husbands, everything I do is recorded. With my track record and public stupidity, no one believed me no matter how loud I was shouting it wasn’t me.”
“Princess…” Kade sighs.
“There are only four people who never believed any of the rumors or that it was me driving. Who always saw the good in me. I guess…” I look at my dad, knowing what I’m about to say can very well break his heart again. “I guess I wanted you, any of you, to at least question the veracity of all the bullshit that’s been said about me. But none of you did. You just assumed everything bad was the truth. I needed one of you to believe in me being a better person than the spoiled, rich girl with no consideration for other people.”
The look in Dad’s eyes is killing me. I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m not to lie either. They wanted to know the truth, after all.
No one says a word, I can feel my pulse speed up, my heart pounding in my chest. I guess despite everything that happened today, I’m still afraid people are not going to believe me when I tell the truth.
“Sweetheart,” Dad’s voice is rough, tortured even. “We didn’t know. We just thought...”
“The worst. Like everyone else.” He visibly flinches at my words. “I’m not trying to be mean, but you guys can’t deny it was easier to believe I’m reckless enough to nearly kill a boy driving drunk than to question it. After all, mothers shouldn’t do that to their children.”
When a loud bang reverberates through the room, my eyes snap to Kade. His balled fist is still braced against the wooden cabinet. I can see the muscles in his arms strain, like he’s ready to explode but is holding himself back. I’d be lying if I didn’t linger on those defined muscles for a second, marveling at the definition of his triceps.
“If I ever meet that woman, I swear…” he says through clenched teeth. “I can’t believe she’d do that to you.”
I place my hand on his back and feel the power behind his frame. “It is what it is. There’s no point in wishing for the past to be different. It’s not going to change anything. Might as well try to move past it.”
He spins around, his hands gripping the sides of my neck. Something I’ve come to realize he likes to do to get my full attention. “That’s bullshit. You’re ignoring what she’s done to you instead of doing something about it. You keep letting her get away with treating you like this. It’s not right.”
“What would you like me to do? I wasn’t ready to cut her out of my life completely and be left without a family.”
“You weren’t without a family,” his tone is growing more exasperated.
“I know that now.” I throw my hands
