“What did you just say?” I press my face deeper into my palms and wince when I hear his voice, praying to any entity to help me disappear right now. My father’s voice is vibrating with barely contained fury, at who I have no idea, and I’m not sure I want to know.
I’m too terrified to move, certain my world will implode as soon as I do.
I can hear someone move toward me. I’m frozen in place, not even my flight response kicking in to get me out of this situation where my father, and probably Lizzie as well as Kade, have just heard me confess that my own mother despises me so much she wishes she never had me in the first place.
Gentle hands grasp both my wrists but don’t try to pull them away from my face. No one is saying a word—it’s like they instinctively know any sudden movements or words might shatter my loose hold on sanity.
“Kiddo, you’re breaking my heart. Please look at me,” Wayne pleads. His voice rough like he’s holding back a flood of emotions trying to break free.
I shake my head, afraid of the look on his face, knowing I won’t be able to bear a look of anger—the same one my mother treats me with regularly—on his handsome face.
“Montana, sweetheart, look at me.” It’s the desperation in his voice that breaks through my own pain. I slowly lift my head and look at my father only to see my own pain reflected back at me in his blue eyes. “Please tell me I misheard you, and your mother hasn’t said that to you.”
For a split second, I debate lying, telling him I was just being dramatic. That Veronika isn’t the monster she appears to be. But I can’t, I’m tired of lying for Veronika. Tired of her constant deceit and manipulations.
I have to swallow past the lump in my throat before my vocal cords are able to produce a barely audible “I can’t.” I watch as he freezes in front of me, he doesn’t even blink, but I can see his mind working behind his eyes, making me wish I could tell what he’s thinking.
Does he not believe me?
Before that thought can fully formulate, he shoots to his feet, causing me to recoil into the couch. The look on his face is something I don’t think I’ve ever seen on another human. A terrifying combination of furry, heartbreak, regret, and disbelief. He looks like he’s about to hit something, or someone.
“Son of a bitch,” he shouts and buries his hands in his hair. His whole frame is vibrating, and I’m not sure what to do, or what to say to diffuse the situation. I look at Lizzie and Kade for help, but neither one of them seems to be in a hurry to do anything. To my surprise, both of their faces mirror my father’s expression. Kade looking thunderous like he’s about to go on a quest to murder someone.
“How could I have been so fucking blind?”
I look back at my father, confused at his words. “What?” I say barely above a whisper, my voice frail and weak, something I’ve never heard from myself. For a brief second I wonder if he doesn’t believe me after all and thinks I’ve made it up.
He keeps on ranting in an angry voice before the hurt of that can settle, rocking the foundation of my world. “Your fucking mother. Fuck”—he throws his hand in the air before he pivots to stare at me with what I finally recognize as love shining in his eyes—“I knew she was a bitch, but I didn’t think she’d poison your head like that. I should have come for you when you started to get into trouble in Seattle. Hell, I should have never let you go in the first place. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I agreed to it.”
His words strike me, and I’m finally shaken out of my stupor. The words ‘I should have come for you’ bounce around my head like one of those old pinball machines, the ball pinging off all those little hurdles, but instead of collecting points, this one is collecting my anger.
I forget everything else he said, anger replacing the fear and grief about Veronika’s words. I jump to my feet to I shout at him, disregarding everyone else in the room. “Well, why the fuck didn’t you then? I was fucking miserable in Seattle. I hated everything about it. How it was always raining but never snowing.” I wave my hands around to emphasize my moot point. “I mean, what’s up with that?”
He opens his mouth as if to say something, but just like with Gram, the floodgates have opened and years’ worth of hurt, humiliation, and rejection come pouring out, dousing everyone in the vicinity. “I spent seven years doing stupid shit, breaking the rules, acting out, trying everything to make you take notice. And let’s not forget, Veronika spent those years making sure I knew just how much you didn’t give a fuck about me. And she was right,” I cry, the tears I’ve been holding back so far finally running down my cheeks.
“Montana—” he tries to interrupt, but I keep talking over him.
“Not once did you answer one of my phone calls or call me back. Every single one of my letters was ‘returned to sender.’ Veronika was right; you replaced me with a new family and didn’t even bother to fucking invite me to the wedding. And I know that wasn’t Lizzie, she’s too nice to be malicious like that. And I would know malicious, I lived with it for eighteen years until I moved out.
“I was stupid enough to think lying and letting myself be the one to take the fall for Veronika would make
