“Yeah, green eyes. I know.”
“You’re taking the blame for our relationship ending, but I want you to know that it was both of us. At the time it was wanting different things that broke us apart, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for that. You felt how you felt and so did I.”
Elliot didn’t answer me, but I saw him process my words.
“I never thought we’d turn out like this.” I exhaled a shaky breath. “I thought you’d be my forever person.”
His eyes locked on mine. “I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t.”
I blinked. “Meaning you’d never have told me you didn’t want to get married, or—”
“Meaning if I knew what life was like without ye, I’d never have come to the conclusion about marriage that I did. I was scared that our marriage would be jinxed and our love would be ruined if we got married, but how much more wrecked could things have got than they already are? I fucking lost ye, honey.”
I removed my hands from Elliot’s and placed them over my face.
“I want to believe you, but it’s hard now.”
He was always the one person who gave me blatant honesty, but now my trust in him was shattered and I didn’t know if it was beyond repair. Maybe that honesty I’d lost in Elliot was what I’d found in Anderson? I didn’t know.
“What happened next?” I mumbled into my hands. “When you tried to speak to me?”
“Ye had already moved on,” Elliot answered. “I left it too late to fix everythin’. Ye never spoke to me again until after ye woke up from your coma.”
My stomach churned. I knew I was still hurt by his decision about marriage and about him keeping it from me – I was experiencing that hurt right now. But it was very hard for me to imagine that I’d just shut Elliot out of my life completely without even trying to resolve matters between us. I stared at him, shocked to find that I was gauging whether or not he was telling the truth. That was something I’d never had to do with Elliot before.
Then I looked into his ocean blues and felt a weight fall off of my shoulders. He wasn’t lying to me. I had to look a little longer, but I saw truth in his eyes, not deceit.
“I don’t know why I didn’t give you a second chance.” I lowered my hands from my face. “Maybe my hurt turned to anger, and it fuelled how things panned out. For that, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Elliot said. “Things likely would have been different if I was honest with ye from the jump. Maybe we could have worked through my doubts or maybe we still would have spilt, I don’t know. Hindsight is a great thing; I know things now that I didn’t then.”
“Like what?”
“That losin’ ye broke me.”
I bit down on my lower lip to keep from crying.
“But you still came to me when I called for you, even though my decision broke you.”
“I’ll always come runnin’ when ye need me, sasanach.” His gaze softened. “You’re my person.”
I tried again to think of why things had played out the way they did. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force the memory to the surface, but then I screamed out as sudden agony slammed into my head and I felt my body go tense and rigid as pain crippled me. I felt stuck.
I heard voices, felt hands on me, and the pain eased back as numbness spread over me like a veil of feathers. Then there was silence – mind-numbing, blissful silence.
“El-Elliot?”
“I’m here,” his voice answered. “I’m here, Noah. I’m not goin’ anywhere, honey . . . I’ll get the doctor, he wanted to be called when you woke up.”
I drifted back into sleep for a few moments but then decided that I wanted to wake up. It took a few tries, but I managed to open my eyes – and instead of Elliot’s face hovering over me, I was staring up at Doctor Abara. I felt myself blink very slowly as I stared up at him. He smiled down at me. “Hello, Noah.”
Oh, no.
“Did I forget everything again?” I rasped. “Is it the year 2030 now? Do we have a new prime minister?”
I thought I heard Elliot curse as he laughed, but I wasn’t sure. It sounded kind of distant, but at the same time not. My head felt foggy, like I was tipsy from a few drinks.
The doctor grinned. “Nope, still 2020 with the same PM.”
Relief filled me.
“What happened?” I questioned as I flexed my fingers. “How long was I out?”
“A few hours or so.”
“I was talking to Elliot then my head just . . . burned.”
“Yes, Elliot told me what happened.” Doctor Abara frowned like my dad had when I was being naughty as a child. “You are in no condition to be frolicking around with your man, no matter how well you think you are, Noah.”
I furrowed my brow in confusion.
“Frolicking?” I repeated in bewilderment. “I wasn’t frolicking – oh my God! Elliot told you I tried to seduce him?”
Memories assaulted me and humiliation reddened my cheeks.
Doctor Abara raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”
“I’m gonna bloody kill him.”
I heard a couple of snickers and tensed.
“Is he here?”
“Yes,” the doctor answered. “Your parents too.”
“I beg your pardon?” I asked, raising my voice only to wince as my head ached. “I’m really gonna kill him. My dad knows what I did?”
“Yes,” the doctor answered casually, like we weren’t having the most mortifying conversation in history. “Any double vision?”
“No,” I answered. “Your voice sounds a little distant though, and I feel a little dizzy.”
He nodded. “Your pain levels?”
“Low right now,” I answered. “Was I given morphine?”
At his nod, I sighed. “I don’t like that stuff. It makes everything all foggy and it’s hard to think.”
“Try
