“Now that,” - I sit up straighter, crossing my legs in front of me - “is something I can relate to. If we’re being honest, I kinda feel like you haven’t needed me as much in the last year. I know part of that is because you’re growing up, but if we’re talking about why we were excited to have another member of the family, I was looking forward to being needed again. It would’ve felt good to be needed like you used to need me.”
He rolls his eyes. “Of course I need you, Mom. Just not all the time, like I used to. I wanna hang out with the guys, learn how to work on bikes and stuff. It’s important to me.”
Doesn’t he realize that’s the part that hurts? But then again he’s just a kid who’ll grow up and learn. He’ll have his own kids one day, watch as they grow into independent members of society. “I know, I know. I’m learning, Walker. Trying to learn anyway.”
He side-eyes me. “You know where I do want you and need you?”
“Where?”
“Dad never watches TV with me at night. I missed our nightly viewing,” he admits slowly.
“I missed it too. If we’re gonna do this tonight though, it has to be like old times.”
We look at each other smiling before we speak in unison.
“Popcorn and Reese’s!”
“This show is stupid,” Walker grumbles, as we sit through the last few minutes of The Bachelor.
It’s just a placeholder until the show we really want to see comes on.
“What?” I take a bite of the popcorn. “You wouldn’t go on some reality show to find love?”
He wrinkles his nose. “Girls are ewwww, but I don’t have to worry about it anyway. When I patch in, I won’t have to ask anything of any woman, they’ll just come to me.”
I roll my eyes, laughing hard at my son. “Is that what you think?”
“Well, I mean isn’t that what happened to Caelin? Didn’t you start talking to Dad after he patched in?”
“Who’ve you been talking too? I met your dad when I was a teenager. We went to high school together, and that’s where we started dating. It had nothing to do with him having a patch. At least not to me. Grandpa Liam though, he looked favorably on your dad for patching in.”
He grabs a handful of popcorn, chewing on it thoughtfully. “Do you think Grandpa Liam expects me to patch in?”
I’ve waited for this question for years. I kind of always thought he would be asking about his Dad instead though. “I think Grandpa Liam is like me and your dad, we want you to do what you want to do. If that’s patch in to Heaven Hill, then great, but if you decide to do something else, Walker, that’s fine too.”
“What else could I do?” He shrugs.
“Hello, anything in the world you want to. You’re one of the smartest kids I know, even your teacher thinks so.”
“Yeah.” He takes another handful. “She told me I might be able to test up to a different grade.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t wanna leave my friends. It’ll be like I’m the new kid in school. Not to mention, when the rest of them are sixteen, I’ll be younger? How much fun will that be, Mom? Seriously? I’ll always be the little kid tagging along with them. There’s no fun in that.”
“Well, it seems like you’ve thought it out pretty well in your head.”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “I finally feel like things are good. You’re here, Dad’s here, you’re not sad all the time anymore. I don’t wanna rock the boat.”
“Hey.” I grab hold of his chin, forcing the eyes of his father to meet mine. “It’s one hundred percent not your responsibility to take care of me, Walker. Not rocking the boat isn’t something you should be worrying about. If you want to test out and get ahead, then go ahead. If you want to stay where you are, then go ahead, but absolutely don’t let your fear for me hold you back. I’m good, I promise.”
“I just don’t want a setback,” he says softly.
“First of all, if there is a setback, it won’t be caused by you.” I reach in, grabbing him around the shoulders, kissing him on the top of his head. “It’ll be because off me. You’re not responsible for me, kiddo. I’m responsible for you. It’s time we took on our own roles, don’t you think? Me be the parent and you be the kid? Sound good to you?”
He looks up at me, grinning so that the freckles on his nose look like one big splotch. “Sounds good to me.”
“Ohhh, looks like the stupid show is off and the one we wanted to watch is coming on. Your job is to enjoy your childhood, and mine is to make sure you do that. So let’s get going on it.”
Two hours later, we’ve watched three different shows and Walker gave up the ghost of trying to stay awake a few minutes ago, but I can’t leave just yet.
In sleep he looks so much like Dalton, it’s scary. My heart squeezes as I think about all the one’s he’ll probably break until he finds the right one. Even if he thinks that women are going to fall at his feet because he may or may not have a patch on.
Kid’s got so much to learn.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Dalton
It’s been a hot minute since I broke in anywhere, especially a low-level drug dealer’s house. Probably since I was a prospect for the club. Any other day we would have allowed the two watching this house to do it, but these are different circumstances.
“What’s taking so long?” Jagger whisper shouts from where he’s keeping watch.
“He’s got a damn video doorbell. Took me a minute
