She rose up on her toes and her hands grabbed the sides of my face. She pulled me down to her lips. Her tongue pierced through my lips and all the emptiness filled up with instant love. I closed my eyes and fell into her mouth. All my vital organs started working again. The brain started pumping through my veins. The cinder blocks fell off my chest. She cradled my face and drew me into her.
“Jagger, I will always love you. I will never leave you.”
Christ, this was a beginning the middle and the end for me.
Chapter 35
KATRINA
The London State of Mind Tour started in the middle of March. I arrived for the third show at O2 Arena. The guys had two more shows here. I didn’t know how they where going to pull off all of these back to back shows. I just go tired thinking about all the work they had to do.
The concert was phenomenal and the guys rocked out on stage. Two hours of nonstop dancing and singing. Colin and Jagger played the guitar together for one song and Jagger played piano solo for one of the ballads. I’d never seen Toxic Shock in concert. It was a massive extravaganza in front of twenty thousand screaming fans. Five nights here would add up to one hundred thousand fans.
I was seated in a private area but I was whisked away by security and escorted backstage before the end of the last song. I waited for Jagger in his dressing room. All the guys had there own private rooms.
I decided to wait for Jagger at the venue instead of meeting him back at the hotel. He was going to be awhile. The band did meet and greets after the performances. They were basically photo-ops for fans that knew someone or pay the extra money to get to be near the guys. While I was scrolling through my cell Jagger walked in. He was sweaty and winded. He was in his stage clothes. He had a white towel over his shoulder. He walked right over to me and kissed my cheek. His sweat landed on one side of my face.
“Are you doing the meet and greet?” I asked.
“No.” He wiped the sweat with the towel.
“Why?”
“I’m not feeling it.”
“Is your throat okay?”
“It’s rather scratchy but I’ll survive.”
“You sound different, a little horse. When are you going to see a doctor?”
“Tomorrow. A medical professional is going to swing by the hotel.”
“Good, you need your voice. You probably shouldn’t talk much. Is a real doctor coming or are you just saying that?”
“No, babe, I’m telling the truth.”
“Your voice is important.”
“I know. I’ve been drinking lemon tea. The doctor is coming. It’s maybe strained or inflamed vocal cords.”
“They can fix that right?”
“Hopefully. I didn’t have time to worry about it. Maybe it’s just a cold.”
“You couldn’t tell out there. Your voice was great. So you’re okay. You’re not worried.”
“If I lose my voice I have the ability to write songs for other artists. Which might be a blessing.”
“Don’t say that. You have a beautiful voice.”
“Have you come to some conclusion about having a baby with me?”
“Yes. I stopped taking birth control pills when we broke up.”
“That’s good right? You have to get take the fertility drugs so you can produce eggs. Are you taking the drugs yet? ”
“No, I don’t need the drugs. We’re not going to have a surrogate.”
“Why? I thought we agreed.”
“I’m pregnant already.”
“No.” He eyes grew to the size of saucers. His mouth hung open.
“Yes. I’m about six weeks.”
“This is the best bloody news. So they one time, the makeup sex did it.”
“It’s so early you can’t tell anyone. It’s the first trimester and because of my age it’s high risk.”
“Technically but you’re really healthy. I can’t bloody believe it. You’re pregnant.”
“I am.”
“I’m excited. Are you excited?”
“No, but I will get there.”
“Don’t worry. Positive vibes only.”
Jagger’s walked over grabbed my chin and kissed me. I wished I was sure I him. But this pregnancy was a complete surprise to me. I was days away from interviewing surrogates when I got this news. I just hoped he would keep it a secret. I needed to make sure I was going to carry this baby to term.
Chapter 36
ONE YEAR LATER
JAGGER
There was a deal made behind closed doors. Money could buy you anything and I had it. This cost me fifty thousand pounds. I would’ve paid more. I was stable. I was happy. I had a son. I had Kat. My life couldn’t get any better. There was always something missing, a hole that I couldn’t fill with awards, pretty things or my music. I needed closure. I had so many questions and absolutely no answers.
On this search, I may not receive the answers but I’d made the effort. I tried to get the answers. I tried to understand what was inevitably something that was beyond comprehension.
I thought long and hard about this arsehole. Maybe I shouldn’t do it. There was always the possibility that this meeting would trigger me, make me go back to that lifestyle that was detrimental to my health. I didn’t want to give this sit-down interrogation that much power over me.
I black truck with tinted windows picked me up. I didn’t have an entire security team. I had Charlie he was my must-trusted bodyguard. He was all I needed. I didn’t want too many people to know my whereabouts. This story would be a game-changer for any paparazzi, tabloid journalist, talk-show host or media outlet reporter. My privacy had been compromised many times before. I vowed that this time would be different.
I know I was an A-list celebrity and I gave up my right to privacy when I decided to share my talent with the world. I didn’t like it but I couldn’t
