“Sawyer was always more interested in how somebody looked than in what kind of person they were,” I tell her. “To him, women were more of a status symbol or fashion accessory than anything.”
“That was then; this is now. You said he seems different today than he did back then,” she reminds me. “And correct me if I’m wrong, but you also said he told you that he knew you weren’t interested in him back then, and he chased you anyway.”
“So he says.”
“Do you ever give anybody the benefit of the doubt?” she laughs.
“Only people who’ve earned it.”
I grin as I pop a couple of fries into my mouth and chew on them. What I’m not admitting to Gabby is that as we sat in the restaurant the other night, for a brief moment, our eyes locked, and I was overwhelmed with the strangest rush of emotion. It was like a door inside of me had been unlocked, and everything that had been stuffed inside came tumbling down around me.
I don’t quite get it, but there was some sort of a connection that formed between us that was impossible to ignore. It’s hard to explain – even more difficult because I don’t understand it myself.
“Listen, I’ve seen him do a couple of interviews, and I’ve read a lot about him – and from everything I’ve gathered, he seems like he’s grown into a decent guy,” Gabs tries to reassure me.
I laugh out loud. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t take the tabloids as gospel.”
She shrugs. “I’m just saying it sort of jibes with what you’re telling me about your date with him.”
“It wasn’t a date.” I wince at the nervous giggle that falls out of my mouth. “It so wasn’t a date.”
She gives me that sly smile of hers. “Well, whatever you want to call it then.” She shrugs. “It just sounds like he actually is a decent guy – and one who’s interested in you.”
“I’m suddenly regretting that I tell you everything,” I laugh.
“I’m your best friend. I’d kill you if you didn’t tell me everything.” She smiles. “So, when are you going on another date with him?”
“I haven’t gone out on a date with him to begin with.”
She waves me off. “Fine, whatever. Semantics girl.” She sticks her tongue out at me. “When will you two be occupying space together again?”
I laugh out loud. “You’re so dramatic,” I say. “And I have no idea. It may have been a one off. It was probably a one off.”
The biggest reason I believe that is that I practically ran out of the restaurant at a dead sprint. I’m sure that made quite an impression on the man. Not that I’m looking to see him again or anything anyway. Gabby laughs and shakes her head as she looks at me, earning her a small frown.
“Look at you,” she teases. “You’re squirming in your seat. This is the first time I’ve ever seen you have such a visceral, physical reaction to a man. It has to mean something.”
“Yeah, it means I don’t like him.”
“I think we both know that’s not exactly true,” she responds with a knowing grin.
I sit back in my seat and grumble to myself under my breath. I want her to be wrong. I really do. But even if it’s only to myself, I have to acknowledge that spark between us the other night. I have no idea where it came from or why I felt a growing sense of chemistry with Sawyer, but I’d be lying to myself if I denied it.
It makes no sense to me, and that’s what has me feeling so off-kilter about it. There was nothing he did – and certainly nothing I did – to precipitate it. We were having a normal conversation, everything above board and on the surface – it was all totally superficial. And then, out of nowhere, it felt like I got hit with a bolt of lightning, and as I looked at him, I was overwhelmed with a rush of emotion.
Like I said, it makes absolutely no sense. Least of all to me.
“Well, I’ll admit that he’s a very good-looking man,” I tell her. “But that’s a far cry from being into him.”
She shrugs. “Give it time. The seed’s been planted, now nature will take its course,” she chirps. “I mean, God knows you need to get your field plowed.”
I erupt in laughter and feel my cheeks glowing with heat, so I quickly cover my face with my napkin to hide my embarrassment.
“You are awful,” I manage to croak.
“That doesn’t mean I’m wrong, though,” she laughs along with me.
It’s one of the things I love about Gabby – she’s always been able to pry a laugh out of me at the most unexpected times. She doesn’t sugarcoat much and is never afraid to give me the unvarnished truth of things. But at the same time, she just instinctively knows when to reel it in and lighten her touch. We’re opposite in a thousand different ways, and yet, we mesh together perfectly all the same.
“Okay, I’ll stop harassing you about Sawyer for now. But just think about it. I mean, it wouldn’t really hurt at all to at least give him a chance, would it?” she presses. “If he hasn’t changed, he hasn’t changed. No skin off your nose. But if he has – well, that’s an entirely new ballgame, isn’t it?”
I pull at the ends of my hair, twisting it around my finger – an unconscious nervous gesture I’ve had since I was young – and ponder her words. I just have too much going on in my life, and I’m not in the market for a relationship right now.
