But as I round the corner, I make the mistake of glancing up, and my gaze instantly collides with a pair of dark, intense eyes.
Parker.
Longing twists my chest, making me slow to a stop, my hungry eyes eating up the sight of him.
His hair is disheveled, as if he's been repeatedly running his fingers through it. There are dark circles under his eyes—the emotions swimming in them probably mirroring mine—and a day-old scruff lines his jaw. Although it's a new look for him, the rugged appearance doesn't make him look any less good. He's still a sight for sore eyes.
Damn him.
Rearranging my features into a neutral expression, I rip my eyes away and force myself to brush past him, my steps heavy.
For a brief moment, I think I heard him say my name barely perceptibly. But instead of reacting to it, I square my shoulders and walk away without a backward glance.
CHAPTER 35
Parker
It's been several minutes yet my eyes stay glued to the picture on my phone screen. Quinn uploaded it on Instagram just an hour ago. It's an image of her, Brayden and Sawyer, with the coffee shop up town serving as their background.
Like a pathetic bastard, I stroke Sawyer's smiling face with my thumb for the hundredth time, desperately wishing that she's right in front of me so I can touch her in person.
Touch her. Kiss her. Just fucking have her in my arms again.
But I ruined every possibility of that ever happening again, didn't I? The smile that no longer reaches her eyes proves that. I see her every day at school, her eyes always downcast, as if she doesn't want to see the world around her, as if she'd rather be anywhere else.
I did that to her.
An ache, sharp and familiar, tightens my chest, gripping me for a long moment like what it's done the past week. Since the day I broke her heart and walked away.
Why the hell did I ever think I could handle being with her and having big responsibilities at the same time? I should've done what I did the first time—left her alone.
So you could watch another guy enter the picture and stake his claim on her?You know Liam would try again.
Jealousy courses through my body, making me clench my fists tightly.
Fuck. How am I supposed to let her go completely when just the mere thought of her with someone else makes me want to burn the world? But I did. I let her go.
"When things get rough, instead of soldiering on, you run and give up. You're a coward, Parker."
Her words had felt like a punch to the gut. But I couldn't blame her. I broke her heart like it was nothing—and just days after we had sex for the first time.
And I had the damn nerve to be furious with Liam for hurting her.
Not for the first time, guilt and shame wash over me for what I did, for what I put her through. I didn't deserve her. Maybe I never really did.
Swallowing hard, I force myself to exit the app and put my phone down. When my head shoots up, I catch Jamie, Bennett and Giovanni staring at me from the pool table.
A deep frown pulls at my brows. "What?"
"You okay?" Giovanni asks.
"Does he look okay to you?" Bennett retorts, setting the cue stick down on the table. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think his favorite pet just died."
"But we all know he doesn't have a pet," Jamie chimes in, turning his assessing gaze on me.
My scowl deepens. "I didn't know I was friends with a bunch of psychologists."
Bennett smirks before heading for the bar in the corner of the gaming room. But instead of pouring whiskey like I expected him to, he takes out a bottle of wine and fills four glasses, handing each to us before sinking down on the couch across from me.
We stare at him incredulously, our collective expressions saying what the fuck?
He just shrugs. "We're entering the girly shit territory so we might as well go all out." When we just continue staring at him, he adds, "What, you assholes need some ice cream, too?"
Jamie rolls his eyes.
"Jesus fuck, King," Giovanni mutters, shaking his head.
My annoyed scowl remains.
Bennett ignores the two of them and turns his attention to me. "Parker, man, I'm gonna give it to you straight. But don't come after my balls, okay?"
"Why the hell would he come after your balls?" Giovanni says with incredulity, just as I grumble, "Just out with it."
"Is there any reason—other than your outrageous sense of devotion to your family—why you're not with Sawyer right now?"
"Outrageous sense of devotion?" I say through gritted teeth. What the hell is he getting at?
"You know I have such high respect for you, right? You're the most responsible person I know. Your loyalty to your family knows no bounds. And, hell, you're more of a grown up than most of the grown-ups in this privileged town. You're—"
"Bennett," I say in a clipped tone, cutting him off to hide my growing discomfort at his words, "is there a point to this other than you showering me with unnecessary compliments?"
"My point is," he stresses, "you're being a big baby and an absolute idiot right now." When my eyes narrow into slits, he hurries on, "Hear me out, don't kill me just yet."
"Want me to hold him down?" Jamie offers with a wide smirk on his face.
"I'll help," Giovanni seconds.
Bennett ignores them, downing his wineglass in one go. "In case you're not aware, you're not Romeo. And Sawyer sure as hell isn't Juliet. The two of you don't belong to warring families. Literally no one
