‘It’s fine.’
‘No, it’s not.’ She rubs the back of her hand against her forehead. ‘I bet there’s stuff growing in the sink.’
I stare at her for a moment or two, surprised that she’s suddenly blurred. I have no idea what’s caused a handful of tears to make an appearance, but I’m thoroughly grateful for their company. They can only help with the charade.
‘Oh God,’ Lucy groans, leaving the room. Within seconds, she’s back, clutching an entire roll of toilet paper. ‘Here.’ Throwing it onto my lap, she collapses next to me. ‘Now, get on with it. What’s happened?’
Pulling away a length of toilet roll and blowing my nose, I run through what I’d really like to say: ‘Oh, you know, a psychopathic ex-boyfriend trying to kill the love of my life, threatening to harm just about anyone we know if we don’t stay apart; the usual sort of crap.’ But the truth is out of bounds. After bludgeoning my way into the loop, I’ve agreed to stick to the party line. Pulling away a second strip of tissue, I dab my eyes, and finally the starting point settles in front of me. Before it can dart off again, I grab it.
‘You know I told you I’d done something stupid?’
She nods.
‘Well, it was really stupid.’
‘How stupid?’
‘Ten out of ten stupid.’
‘Tell me.’
‘His sister … she came down on Friday night.’
Her eyes expand.
‘The one who wrote the card?’
It’s my turn to nod. ‘She turned up out of the blue.’
‘Crap.’
‘She wanted to see Dan.’
‘Double crap.’
‘His other sister’s not well … and I’d offered a way in.’
Her forehead creases. ‘How come?’
Ready for the admission, I take in a breath.
‘I went to see her … behind Dan’s back. I couldn’t help myself,’ I explain quickly. ‘I went to Limmingham.’
‘Triple crap.’
‘I only wanted to make contact. I thought I could help. You know … like we said?’
She shuffles about on her bottom.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake, Maya. I didn’t think you’d actually do it.’
‘It was your idea,’ I remind her.
It’s bad enough admitting what I’ve done. I know I’ve been an idiot, and I really don’t need confirmation from Lucy. Anger rubs against my skull, like sandpaper, distracting me from the job in hand.
‘Yes, but … I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it.’ She blows out a lungful of air. ‘This is all my fault. I put the stupid idea in your head.’
And maybe, I’d like to add, if you’d flagged up the fact that it was a stupid idea, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. I give myself a good mental slap. This is all done and dusted, not worth arguing over. I need to get back on track, shove the mistakes to one side and deal with the fallout.
‘You put the idea into my head.’ I hold up my hand to prevent any interruptions. ‘But I’m the one who acted on it. If there’s anyone to blame around here, it’s me. I should never have meddled.’
‘So, what happened?’
‘He got home, refused to talk to Layla, lost it and stormed out. He took the bike and, well …’ I wave a hand in the air. ‘You know the rest.’
‘Shit.’ I watch her face as she ploughs through confusion, finally latching on to a realisation. ‘The accident?’
I nod.
‘If I hadn’t got in touch with Layla, she wouldn’t have come down to London, and Dan wouldn’t be in hospital right now.’
‘No wonder he’s pissed off.’ She shuffles about again. ‘But he was okay with you. When he woke up, he was alright.’
‘And then he remembered. I went too far. There’s something between him and Layla, and I can’t work it out. He refused to see me this morning, and then he got Clive to do his dirty work.’ And this is where the sort-of-truth ends. It’s time for the outright lies. ‘So, that’s it. We’re done. Kaput. Finito.’
‘Shit.’ Lucy sucks at her bottom lip, deep in thought. ‘He’ll come to his senses.’
And the denials.
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Yes, he will.’ She waves a finger at me. ‘He’ll realise you were only trying to make things better. He’s probably off his tits on drugs … but at some point … at some point …’
‘He won’t change his mind. That’s been made perfectly clear to me.’
The finger waving comes to an end.
‘Jeez, this is a mess.’ She gets to her feet. ‘I’ll talk to Clive, and then he can talk to Dan.’
‘No,’ I snap, knowing full-well Clive’s not even going to be talking to Lucy for much longer. ‘I’ve crossed a line. It’s one hundred percent over.’
‘Fuck, is it?’ she sneers dismissively.
‘Fuck, it is. Leave it, Lucy. I’ve had enough.’
‘This is a disaster.’ Her arms flap up and down. ‘He’s got it wrong. You were just trying to help. So what if you stepped over a line? What sort of fucking stupid line is it? His sister? How bad can she be? I mean, has he met your sister?’ The arm flapping stops. ‘Of course he has,’ she breathes. ‘But if he can deal with Sara, he can deal with his own bloody family.’
‘It’s not that simple. Layla’s a no-go area.’
‘A no-go area? That’s ridiculous.’ The arms flap again, faster this time, as if she’s trying to take off. ‘I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. I’ll get Clive to take me over to the hospital and I don’t care how crap he feels, I’ll make him feel crappier.’
‘Calm down.’
‘No, I will not calm down. You try to help him, and he dumps you. The man’s a twat. I’m going to tell him to
