As a result of continual back-and-forth and Tommy’s stifling control, we had script changes every day. No one knew what was happening from moment to moment. In addition to a vastly different script, I had also wanted Terrence Howard in the lead (I envisioned him in this kind of role before Hustle and Flow, mind you). But the powers that be were dismissive of the idea of a romance between Terrence and me. I suspected it was because he looks Blacker than me (though he is also mixed!) and they didn’t understand how that was going to work, if you catch my drift. So that was disappointing. No shade to Max Beesley, who was great.
In addition to a lack of creative control, I felt my acting was really inhibited for many reasons by the acting coach, who by this time I believe had become too invested in my career. I don’t want to slay her, but she prevented me from doing my best by projecting her own personal shit onto the movie. I’ve heard this often happens in collaborations; it got very Marilyn and Paula Strasberg–ish. With all due respect, it became an ego fest (I’m sure she would agree with me now). What was important to me was that the extras and other people on set—from actors to crew—knew that I was serious, ready to learn, and ready to work just as hard as them. Though the whole process wasn’t great, I did feel I gave some good performances (which would have been more evident with different edits). I wasn’t upset because it was such a new medium for me, but I think at every turn there were missteps.
But there was light at the end of this glittered tunnel. Frank Sinatra once said Dani Janssen was one of Hollywood’s “original broads,” and I love a good broad, especially one who knows how to throw a good party. Dani Diamonds’s (as she was famously called) Oscar parties are legendary—and I do not throw the L word around haphazardly. Most guests either have to have an Oscar or have been nominated for one in order to be invited. Her regulars are all legends—Sidney Poitier, John Travolta, Quincy Jones, Oprah, Babs (Barbra Streisand), and on and on. And each year a hot new crop of fresh Oscar winners mingle with icons amid her massive collection of white orchids. One year, I was fortunate enough to receive a surprising and very special invitation (naturally, Dani and I hit it off famously). One of the hottest leading men at the time, a two-time Academy Award winner (Dani’s code of no “networking” or name-dropping is taken very seriously, so he shall remain anonymous), came up to me and said about my work in Glitter, “I know people give you shit about it. I’ve been there. You were really hitting some things that were very genuine, and I think you should stick with that. Don’t let them make you feel like you can’t go there anymore.” He made me feel so much better because of the immense respect I have for him as an actor. And it was a good thing I didn’t give up—because a few years later something truly “precious” would come my way.
Much of what went wrong with Glitter led back to Tommy. He was angry about the divorce and my departure from Sony, and he used all his power and connections to punish me. And everybody else around me knew it was happening, including my new label. Tommy and his cronies went as far as taking promotional items, like my stand-up advertisements, out of the record stores. It was a real fight. He didn’t want it to look like I could succeed on my own, without him, so he even interfered with the Glitter soundtrack. I worked on it for a long time with people like Eric Benét and Brat, who were both in the movie. Terry Lewis was able to get us the original music for “I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On,” since he and Jimmy Jam produced it, of course! And having Rick James (who required a white suit, a white limo, and perhaps some other white accouterments for his session) on “All My Life” was priceless.
The whole experience felt like a dream. And in many ways, it was exactly what I had dreamed of for so many years. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying Glitter was Cat on a Hot Tin Roof or something, but I don’t think it deserved what it got. I think it could have been good had it been allowed to be executed as originally conceived, but by the end, it was such a fight just to have it happen at all. But as always, I kept the faith. I told myself, Everything’s going to work out. I went to that place of hope. This is hard right now, I told myself, it’s a struggle, but I’ll make it through, no matter what. And I was stronger than ever on the other side. And though darkness followed, it was in that darkness that I learned to build my own light.
Tommy was furious when I cut the strings he used to manipulate me. There was no way he would allow me to have a huge success after leaving him and Sony. He was not going to let me or Glitter shine; rather, he was intent on stamping us out. He wouldn’t have been satisfied unless I absolutely failed. He used to always say, “You do what you do, and then I do my magic.” He would have me destroyed before I exposed that he was no magician. If the Glitter soundtrack had been a monster hit, he would have had to face the fact that he was not
