I escaped a man and marriage that nearly smothered me to death. I was one of several artists who called Tommy and his flunkies out for working against the best interest of the company because of petty personal vendettas.
Meanwhile over at the new label, all hell was breaking loose because “Loverboy,” the first single off the Glitter soundtrack, was only at number two on the charts, not number one. I didn’t understand the panic around a number two single on a soundtrack for a film that wasn’t even released yet. But suffice it to say, on the heels of filming Glitter, my life and work were once again under tremendous scrutiny and pressure.
And then there was the sabotage. I had written the lyrics to “Loverboy”; the melody was tight, and it had an infectious groove. Super producer Clark Kent and I had chosen “Firecracker,” by Yellow Magic Orchestra, as the sample, and the few insiders working on the film’s production were really loving it. That did not go unnoticed by Sony executives (and spies). I had chosen the song and paid to have it used in the movie. After hearing my new song, using the same sample I used, Sony rushed to make a single for another female entertainer on their label (whom I don’t know). They used the “Firecracker” sample and released it before “Loverboy.” Ja Rule and I wrote a song together too, and next thing you know, Tommy was calling up his manager Irv Gotti, asking him and Ja to collaborate on a duet for the same female entertainer’s record—leaving me to scurry and remake the song. Irv has even discussed it since, in an interview on Desus & Mero: “He knows we just did this shit with Mariah … and he’s trying to fuck with Mariah.” This was sabotage, plain and simple.
Look, I was well trained in the art of turning shit situations into fertilizer, but Tommy knew fucking with my artistic choices was particularly low. But I wouldn’t let him stop me. I switched gears and turned from the techno influence to a funkier sample from “Candy,” by Cameo (you can’t go wrong with Cameo), and Clark Kent produced it again. After we were both robbed, he saved the day with a banging track (using some remnants from “Firecracker,” which is my favorite part of the song). Da Brat pretty much said it all in her blistering and very real rap on the remix to “Loverboy.”
Hate on me as much as you want to
You can’t do what the fuck I do
Bitches be emulating me daily
Hate on me as much as you want to
You can’t be who the fuck I be
Bitches be imitating me baby
—“Loverboy (Remix)”
We even featured Larry Blackmon (in cornrows) in a poppy sexy-kitschy video shot by my good friend, the fabulous David LaChapelle. And we had a good time despite it all.
But the good times were about to turn real bad.
RESTING IN PIECES
After leaving Tommy I lived in hotels and on the road before I was finally able to make a home for myself. I came very close to buying Barbra Streisand’s exquisite, palatial Central Park West penthouse in an impressive Art Deco building. She famously has a passion for design; her home was decorated with impeccable taste that was totally compatible with what I loved. After all I went through to build Sing Sing it would have been a relief to have a gorgeous turnkey home. But alas, the conservative co-op board was afraid there would be too many rappers, and their entourages, aka big black men, milling about, and didn’t approve me. I eventually found a perfect building downtown, in Tribeca, and moved into the kind of home I dreamed of as a child. Having my own glamorous, gigantic New York City penthouse apartment was exciting but also totally disorienting. I was finally in my own space, but I often didn’t know where any of my stuff was or where it was supposed to be yet. And I had no time to get my new place in order because I was working nonstop. I had a reputation in the industry for being a beast when it came to productivity. I went hard in the studio, and I went equally hard promoting and marketing. I was an all-in artist, and everyone I worked with knew it.
Having a new project on a new label was taking all I had, and I was giving as much as I could. There were all these new people at the label, and my personal management team wasn’t properly restructured to accommodate the new demands. And quite honestly, all the change and new, higher stakes overwhelmed them. My schedule was brutal. I would have a shoot or an event until 3:00 a.m., then a 5:00 a.m. press call. It was relentless. Nowhere in my itinerary was there R-E-S-T, and at the time I didn’t know how to demand it. When you’re working like a machine, there has to be human care built into the process: nutritious food, bodywork, vocal rest, but most importantly, sleep.
