“You are family, not a stranger. I know that she would not mind at all and would stress herself out thinking about you being out there.”
“It is fine, Keisha, but I want to prove to the family that I can handle myself. But if things get worse, I promise I would ask her.”
“You should not wait until it gets worse, but our door will always be open to you.”
“I don’t want to make things uncomfortable, but I should tell you,” I said, shifting the topic. I felt like shit was going to get worse, but I was hoping that it wouldn’t. And I was tired of talking about my drama. I needed to tell her something else that I was dreading.
“What- what’s wrong?” She said, sitting up in the bed.
“I don’t know how to tell you without knowing if I’m 100% sure.”
“Sure about what?”
“I think I saw your mother last week in D.C,” I confessed. She was silent for about five minutes.
“That’s not possible. It was probably someone that looked like her.” Keisha finally said.
“I thought the same thing, but I called her name, and she looked back. I don’t know if the lady could have the same name, but she looked so much like your mother that I could remember. She looked good though, nice and clean looking. I don’t want to worry you, but I thought you should know. Has she tried to reach out or anything?”
“Not to me, I think my brother or sisters would’ve said something if they heard from her.”
“So you and Dre, are y’all dating?” I asked, changing the subject. I could tell that what I just told her bothered her.
“No, not yet. We are taking things slow, I think. I just broke up with Dwayne last night.”
“What? Is that why he was leaving with those girls? He looked really pissed off as he was getting in the car.” I didn’t say anything, but while I was headed out the door of the house party, I saw Dwayne.
“Well, we broke up before I got to the party. I got into a fight with the light skin girl he was walking out with.”
“That was her? What happened?”
“Long story, short- I was tired of his shit. He played me long enough, and he said some things I could never forgive him for. You think because you’re with a person for three years, you know them. I didn’t know him at all after last night, and I’m glad it’s over. As far as that light skin chick, I thought she was the problem of our relationship, but it was all Dwayne.”
“Well, sometimes, your heart can be blinded. Hopefully, Dre will change your mind about that. I saw the way you were looking at him.” I said, teasing her. I was so happy for her because I have been peeped that she liked him. I spent some summers with Keisha, and we always hung around Dre, KD, Craig, Domo, and Jay. Keisha always gave Dre a certain look, and I thought they would eventually get together. However, when she told me that Dwayne was her boyfriend, I lost hope in the idea of her and Dre. Dwayne was cool when I met him, but Keisha never looked at him the same way she looked at Dre.
“He’s special, but I’m just very cautious because it can go really good or bad.”
“I think he is the one though, it’s something about y’all chemistry. I wish I had that chemistry with someone.”
“It’s not too late,” She said.
“Yes it is, I have someone else’s baby. Who would want me?”
“Somebody mature, who will love you and your baby.”
I wanted to believe Keisha, but I had barely any in hope in that. I think if Jemar and I don’t work out, I plan to be single for the rest of life. It will just be my child and me, and I’m alright with that.
I hung out with Keisha for a few hours then had Chianne come back to get me. I went back to Jemar’s after doing some thinking. It was evident that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, and I don’t think I wanted to with him either. However, I didn’t have anywhere else to go, and I was still afraid to face my family, especially my dad. So my plan was to get my shit together as fast as possible, so I could get my own place and be financially stable for my child. I know Chianne said I could stay with her. Still, I didn’t feel comfortable because although her grandmother was sweet, she was the same woman who gave her sister up for adoption. I wasn't going to take my chances with her at all and would just stay with Jemar as long as I could. This was about my child and less about me.
March
2016
10. Wayne
March 2016
It was now March, and nobody could’ve prepared me for the shit I was about to go through. I arrived at work on time and got straight to it. I worked at this electric company. It wasn’t my ideal job, but I didn’t have any plans after college, and my dad knew somebody who would hire me. I only planned to stay here until I found something better, but it’s been about three years, and I just got comfortable. The pay is decent, but not enough to get me further in life. I mean, if I actually pursued further training, I could probably see more money, but I kept putting it off.
“Allen, Boss man wants to see you before you leave.” Larry, a co-worker, said as I was clocking out. I put my tools and equipment up in my locker then made my way to my boss’s office.
“Come in,” Mr. Morris said after I knocked on his door. I walked in and sat
