“What about Levi Yoder?” It was so much easier to focus on someone else’s problems than her own.
“His wife Mary died a couple of months ago,” Gracie said with a shake of her head. “It was tragic.”
“What happened?”
“Aneurysm,” Hannah supplied. “She was pregnant at the time.”
“And the baby?” He wasn’t holding a child in church, but it could’ve just as easily been with his sister or his mother, or even Mary’s parents.
Gracie just shook her head.
Tillie gasped.
“I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Hannah said.
Tillie shook her head. “No, I’m glad you told me.” Maybe that was why he was looking at her in church. He must’ve seen her before, must’ve heard about her situation. Though she was certain he didn’t understand the twist of it all. Mary and Levi were married and had their baby taken from them. And she was taken from her husband. Here Tillie was, unwed and on her own, and her baby was just fine. Was God playing tricks on them all? Unwed or not, she wanted this baby with all her heart.
Lord, please forgive me my uncharitable thoughts toward You and Your plans for us. Amen.
She wasn’t trying to be testy, but the hormones had been getting the better of her for some time. In fact, she was starting to wonder if they might have been the cause of some of the problems between her and Melvin. But that might be oversimplifying it. She had wanted to come home. She wanted to spend Christmas with her family. No matter how much time she spent with the English, Amish country would always be home.
But already, she had grown weary. She was tired of being there, tired of being at church, tired of being watched, tired of everyone wondering, of them whispering when they thought she couldn’t see them or hear them. As much as she wanted to be home, she didn’t belong there. Not now. Would she ever again?
* * *
It took some doing, but Levi finally managed to give his sister the slip and headed home. He had done what she wanted, gotten some food, but he was not committing himself to going to his parents’ house today, sitting around, eating pie, drinking coffee, and acting like everything was just the way it should be. It wasn’t. Things were wrong, terribly wrong, and he hadn’t come to terms with it yet. His mom would want to make Christmas candy and cookies and cakes and the like to share with neighbors and anyone who happened to stop by. Just the smell of cinnamon made him think of Christmas. And ginger from the gingerbread and all the other traditions and smells that went along with the holiday. No, he’d much rather go home and hide from all those familiar, heart-wrenching things, and pretend Christmas wasn’t just two weeks away and his Mary wasn’t gone.
But he knew Mims would never let him get away with that. He had no sooner gotten his horse brushed down and back in the stall before Mims pulled up in her own buggy.
“Levi Anderson Yoder,” she called as she hopped down from her buggy. She hobbled her horse and marched toward him. “Why did you just leave like that?”
Levi shrugged. “Because I wanted to.” But he knew it was an excuse Mims would never accept.
“You worried Mamm and Dat and even Dawdi.”
Levi shook his head. “I didn’t mean to worry anyone. Everyone should know by now, I just need time.”
“We know that. But you also need things to go back to normal.”
Nothing would ever be normal again. Levi hooked one arm over his shoulder and motioned his sister to come into the house. He didn’t wait for her response, simply trudged up the porch through the front door. Of course, she was right behind him. She looked around at his house. The house he was supposed to share with Mary. Had shared with Mary for many years.
“Where’s Puddles?”
“Kitchen,” he said.
She gave him a sigh and an exasperated look. “You know, you could speak in complete sentences.”
Jah, he could. But some things just seemed to take too much effort these days. Not that Mims would understand any of that. His sister was bossy to the core.
Without waiting for an invitation, or even asking for one, Mims marched toward the kitchen.
She returned a few moments later. “Nope, no puppies yet.”
Levi gave her a cunning look. “You gonna take one?”
Mims’s eyes opened wide. “Am I going to take one? Where am I going to put a dog?”
“In the barn like everyone else.”
Mims laughed. “Your dog is in the kitchen.”
He grunted. “Jah, well, it’s cold outside.” And it was Mary’s dog, named Puddles because when she was a puppy that’s what she made every time a person greeted her. Little puddles on the floor. Thankfully she had outgrown the habit; just not the name.
“If I don’t take one, I suppose you’re going to want me to help you get rid of them.”
“What are sisters for?” He ambled into the kitchen, knowing that Mims would follow.
“You want me to make some coffee?” Mims asked.
And if she stayed for coffee, she might not leave till almost dark. Did he really want company? On the other hand, could he really chase his sister away? Other than Mary and perhaps even David Gingerich, Mims was his best friend. But he and David had fallen out of touch years ago, and Mary was gone. Mims was all he had right now.
He adored his sister. Not that he would ever tell her that. They’d gotten closer after their brother Daniel had died. It was a freak accident
