The phone clattered again, then the man’s voice came back on the line. “Okay,” he said. “What’s the message?”
“Please tell him that Tillie called and that he has a baby girl.”
She couldn’t see his face over the phone, of course, but she could sense his change in attitude. “A baby girl?”
“Yes. And please tell him that we’re at my parents’ house. If he wants to come.” She closed her eyes. Why had she said that last part? If he wanted to come, he would come. She didn’t need to invite him. He knew he was welcome. Why else would she have called? She just didn’t want to sound like she was begging for his attention, and somehow that’s exactly how this felt. Maybe if she didn’t need him so much right then . . .
“Got it,” the man said. “Melvin comes in tomorrow, but if I see him before then, I’ll give him the message.”
“Thank you,” Tillie said. And she hung up the phone. She sighed and looked to Leah.
“Okay, that’s done.” Leah’s normally sassy tone was filled with a little bit of hope and even more despair.
Tillie couldn’t blame her. She felt the same. What a mess she had made of everything. And what a mess she was putting her family through so close to Christmas.
“I should just go,” Tillie said.
“I thought we were going to get supper,” Leah said.
Tillie shook her head. “Back to Columbus. I should’ve never come here.” Tears rose into her eyes. It was hopeless. Why did everything end up so hopeless?
“You cannot leave before Christmas,” Leah said. “It would break Mamm’s heart.”
Tillie knew it would.
“And even better than that, you’re going to go with us to the buddy bunch Christmas celebration tomorrow night.” Leah held up a hand as Tillie started to protest. “Hup,” she said. “I will not hear any objections. Everyone who’s anyone is going to be there.”
Tillie blinked back her tears and smiled at her sister’s very English vocabulary. “No one’s going to talk to me. No one will want me there.” Just one of the joys of excommunication.
“They let me come,” Leah said.
“You don’t have a baby without a husband either,” Tillie replied. She would not be remorseful about her baby. She could not.
“Even worse,” Leah quipped. “I’m Mennonite.”
* * *
Tillie did her best to keep her spirits up on the drive home. She had thought that by calling Melvin she would feel better about the situation. She was wrong. Now she felt even more nervous and anxious than ever.
It was crazy, what a person hoped for even when they knew they wouldn’t get it. And more than anything, she hoped that Melvin would say he was coming back, that he would come back, and they would live the Amish life she always thought they would. But then she thought of the troubles they’d had before she left Columbus. Lack of money, too many arguments. There was no guarantee those troubles wouldn’t leach into any life they had, Amish or English. And most definitely they would be present if they left to go live with the English again.
Yes. There was no doubt about it. If Melvin wouldn’t come back and marry her in the Amish church, then she would have to go. She would have to leave Pontotoc. It was as simple as that.
The worst part of it all is she knew Melvin didn’t want to come back. Did she want him to come back solely for her? And be miserable? Or should she just accept what she had done and be miserable and English and raise her baby by herself? It was a no-win situation.
“Well, look who’s here.” Leah parked the car next to a very familiar buggy.
Levi.
Tillie was glad Levi was there, even though she knew she shouldn’t be. There could be nothing more than casual friendship between her and Levi Yoder. But she wanted that friendship if at all possible.
Tillie grabbed her purse and got out of the car, then she slowly made her way into the house. She was glad that she would get to see Levi again.
He is just a friend.
And that’s all he would ever be to her. Her life was about to drastically change, even more than it had by giving birth to Emmy. She figured right now she could use all the friends she could find.
She opened the door, Leah right behind her. “Mamm, we’re home!” Leah shouted.
Tillie shushed her. “If Emmy is asleep, you’ll wake her up.”
“Sorry.” Leah shot her a sheepish grin. “I’m not used to having a sweet little baby in the house.”
Mamm hurried into the living room from the kitchen, carrying a fussing Emmy.
Tillie looked to her sister. “See?”
Leah shot her an apologetic look. “I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t wake her,” Mamm said. “But I think she wants to be fed. You came back just in time.”
Tillie and Leah shrugged out of their coats and bonnets, and Tillie placed her purse next to the couch. Then she reached out her arms for her mother to hand over her baby.
“I see Levi Yoder is here,” Leah said.
“He’s in the kitchen helping me make Christmas cranberry bread.”
Leah and Tillie both turned to their mother. “What?” they asked together.
Eunice shrugged. “He came in when I was just starting it. He said he wanted to help, so he’s in making cranberry bread.” Their mother said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Tillie smiled and shook her head. “I got to feed this baby.”
Mamm nodded. “I’ll let him know.”
“I’m sure he’s figured it out with all that crying,” Leah said as Tillie turned toward the bedroom. It was the easiest place to feed Emmy, out of sight from any male eyes, and it gave her a measure of privacy with her baby.
