After Emmy ate her fill, Tillie burped her baby, straightened her clothes, and laid her down in the small crib Mamm had brought down from the attic. “Sweet dreams, precious girl,” Tillie said. She ran one finger over Emmy’s tiny ear, then eased out of the room. She shut the door behind her and made her way to the kitchen.
Hearing it was surprising enough, but seeing it was almost more than she could stand. “You really are making cranberry bread,” Tillie said.
“It’s almost done. Would you like a piece?” Levi asked. He seemed very satisfied with himself. Maybe learning to cook would be another healing activity for him. Tillie was certain it would take a lot of work off Mims, and even his mother. That was, if Levi didn’t get remarried soon. The thought sent a pang through her belly. She didn’t know why it mattered to her whether Levi got remarried or not. The fact of the matter was it wouldn’t be to her. There was no chance of it. None at all.
The timer dinged.
“That’s it,” Libby said. “Time to take it out.” She handed Levi the pot holders.
Tillie almost laughed at how domesticated he looked. Blue shirt, black pants, green apron that must’ve been something her father used at one time or another. It was the kind that went over the head and had a bib. It tied around the back like the ones she had seen cooks wear when they had some kind of festival in town.
“Can’t cut it yet,” Mamm said. “It will need to cool first.”
“Put it on the porch,” Leah said. “It’ll be ready to eat in a heartbeat.”
Libby nodded and grabbed the pan. “That’s a great idea.” She bustled from the room to take the bread to the porch to cool. Though the ice had disappeared, it was still very chilly outside. Cloudy and gray, a little too much like her thoughts, to be sure.
“I’ll check on Emmy,” Mamm said.
Leah hopped up from her place at the kitchen table. “I’ll go with you.”
And just like that Tillie found herself alone with Levi Yoder once again.
“So what brings you out today, Levi?” Tillie asked. “I know you didn’t just come over to make Christmas cranberry bread.”
He slid onto the bench seat opposite her. “I did have a good time making it though.” He grinned, and she realized that she had missed his smile. “I brought you some diapers.” He nodded toward the package at the end of the table. With all the baking supplies still out and scattered around, Tillie hadn’t noticed them until he pointed them out.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to.”
“These are new diapers.” She hadn’t meant for her voice to sound so accusing.
“Jah. Maybe.”
There was no maybe about it.
“You can’t continue to do this, Levi. As much as I appreciate it.”
“I know, but I need to do it now, while I can.”
“Levi.” There was a world of emotions in her word. Regret, remorse, resignation.
He shook his head. “I failed Mary, and I failed the baby. Please let me help you. I don’t want to fail you too.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“I’m telling you what I heard,” Mims said.
Levi pressed his lips together and frowned. “Why are you so concerned that she called Melvin? He is the baby’s father.”
“I know, but she invited him to come here. Don’t you find that interesting?” Mims shot him an inquisitive look.
Levi wasn’t sure exactly what his sister was getting at, but he had a clue. “She needs to be with Melvin,” Levi said. “They need to be a couple. An official couple. Married,” he said before she could interject anything else.
“That doesn’t bother you?” Mims pushed.
Did it bother him?
Yes, yes it did. But there was nothing either of them could do about it. Tillie would have to marry Melvin if she wanted to stay in Pontotoc. There was no other way. She couldn’t marry someone else, not having had a baby with Melvin. But if Melvin didn’t return to the Amish, Tillie would be forced to leave, excommunicated. She would take her baby with her and it would most likely be the last he ever saw of her. “What bothers me and what doesn’t bother me has no part in this.” As much as he hated to admit it, that was the truth. “And even if it did,” he told Mims, “it’s too soon.”
“Too soon?”
“Mary’s only been gone a little over two months. And I admit Tillie brought me back from a dark place. Her and the baby. And for that I will always be grateful to her. But gratitude is not and should never be mistaken for anything more.”
Mims propped her hands on her hips and gave him a stern look. “Levi Yoder, you are one stupid man.”
“Did you just call me stupid?” He asked the question though he was certain he had heard her correctly.
“I’m your sister,” she said. “I’m entitled.”
“I’m not stupid. In fact, I think I’m trying to be very smart about the whole situation.” Though smart where the heart was concerned was not always a possibility.
“So that’s it. You’re just going to lie down and give up without a fight?”
Well, he was Amish. But even fighting for love was hard.
“It’s more than that. You know the rules. If she doesn’t come back and marry Melvin, she has to leave.”
Mims seemed to wilt a bit, and her starchy attitude softened. “I know, but—”
“Besides, why are you fussing at me when you didn’t fight for David?”
Mims drew back and sniffed. “It’s not anywhere close to the same.”
“I beg to differ.”
“I’m not going to talk about this anymore,” Mims said.
“Your love life or my love life?”
“Neither,” she replied.
“Good.”
“But you have to promise me that you’ll go with me to the party tonight.”
“I do not want to go to a party.” In fact, it might be the very
