Mims shrugged. “What’s the harm in asking? I just wanted to know.”
This was the way it was going to be; either people would ask outright or they would just stare and wonder. Tillie wasn’t sure which one was better.
“Yes,” she said. “Melvin and I are staying.”
Gracie and Hannah smiled at each other.
“That’s so wonderful,” Gracie said.
“We still have to talk to the bishop yet,” Tillie said before anyone else could ask more questions.
“I suppose after the holiday,” Hannah added.
And that was tomorrow. She was sure he would come tomorrow to ask them about their plan and explain to them what they needed to do in order to remain there in the community. It wasn’t as if they didn’t already know. But that was the bishop’s job, making sure it was clear. They would have to confess in front of the church, kneel and state their sins, spread it all out for everyone to see. After that, then they could begin the process of getting back in good standing with the church. It was what she had wanted all along. Her and Melvin, married and raising a family. So why did the thought not comfort her?
She had no idea. But her gaze strayed to Levi Yoder once again.
He was watching her as if trying to figure out who she was and what she was there for. The look was strange, inquisitive, yet familiar. And Tillie gave him a small smile, but it was hesitant. A little shaky. Then she looked back into her cup of coffee and plopped in another sugar cube. It was really sweet enough, but she needed something to do with her hands.
“I, for one, think that it’s marvelous,” Gracie said.
“Me too,” Hannah agreed.
“Of course I make it unanimous,” Mims said. “It’s just baffling to me.”
“Baffling?”
Mims shook her head. “That’s not a good word. It’s just amazing the things we do in order to find our place. God sets us all on a path and it always makes me wonder when someone leaves the church or the community. Is that part of God’s plan? That they leave? Or are they deviating from the plan to begin with?”
“Why would God plan for somebody to leave the church?” Matthew asked. “I don’t think the church would want that at all.” He shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t think we will ever know.”
“Did you know that Levi helped make the cranberry bread?” Hannah asked.
Way to change it, sister, Tillie thought, as she hid the trembling in her hands. She needed to get used to these sorts of talks, because it would be a long, long time before anyone forgot her transgressions. Forgiving was just part of the Amish way of life, but forgetting was difficult indeed.
* * *
Levi did his best not to stare at Tillie and concentrated instead on his saucer and the cranberry bread that he had helped make. How utterly random that he had come to visit his cousin at the same time she had come to visit hers. It was as if once again God was trying to bring them together.
But her place was with Melvin.
“Levi?”
He shook himself from his thoughts—though he had a feeling it wasn’t the first time Mims had spoken his name.
“Jah?”
“Hannah asked how the puppies are doing.”
Levi cleared his throat and tried to get himself together. Puppies. Jah. “They’re good,” he said. “They haven’t got their eyes open yet, but they all look strong and healthy. Puddles is a good mom. You want one?”
Hannah nodded. “Maybe. Aaron and I have been talking about it. It would be a good present for Andy, give him some more responsibilities and a companion. They may fight like cats and dogs and be as opposite as black and white, but at least Essie and Laura Kate have each other.”
Levi smiled. “Every boy needs a dog.”
“I think it’s great that Leah is getting one for Peter. I know she wished that she could have had it for yesterday, but he knows and was so excited,” Gracie said.
“What about you, Tillie?” Matthew asked.
Levi shot him a look, but the other man just shrugged it off. “A girl could use a dog to,” Matthew said in defense of his stance. “Besides, I’m trying to help you get rid of them. Don’t you have twelve?”
“Eleven,” he corrected, but what difference did it really make? He was probably going to end up with four or five of the little mutts himself. But seeing as how lonely his farm had gotten since Mary and the baby died and Tillie and Emmy had left, four or five puppies sounded like right good company.
“I might know some people,” Tillie said. “If you don’t mind them going to English homes. They’re good homes,” she added.
English homes. It didn’t matter to him as long as they had good owners, but bringing up the English world just served to remind him that she’d had a life elsewhere. She and Melvin had shared an apartment and they had that life to go back to and correct before they could come back and join the church. But it wouldn’t be long before he got to see her all the time. As Melvin’s wife. It was not a comforting thought. And it should have been. They were doing what God had intended, what He had planned. Maybe a little late, maybe a little backward, but that was it. They had a baby; they should be married. Husband and wife. It was just the way it was.
* * *
Levi wasn’t sure how he found himself alone with Tillie on the front porch some time later. Hannah was still inside saying her goodbyes, and this was the first time he’d had a chance to talk to her alone in so very long.
“I’m very happy for you and Melvin,” he said. It wasn’t an outright lie. He was happy for them. But something about it bothered
