“This isn’t real.”
The last time I had spoken to my grandfather was by phone. On my birthday last year, when he told me the story about the first time he heard my voice, as he always did.
“This is just as real as anything,” Grampy was saying now.
The terror vanished as soon as I heard him say that. I took a couple slow steps forward, still convinced it couldn’t be real. As I got closer, he revealed a smile that made everything okay. I ran and wrapped my arms around him. I let everything pour out. Everything.
“I am so, so sorry, Grampy.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about, hon.” He patted my back.
“I ruined everything. I shouldn’t have gone to meet Blake. I should have tried to come back sooner to see you. I should have—”
“You didn’t ruin a thing. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”
A shiver crept up my spine. That’s when I realized that this was all real. It was all too real, and it was coming to an end.
“Grampy.” I forced the words out through my trembling lips, and then my teary eyes got the better of me and I wrapped my arms around him even tighter. Even as a dead man, even as a ghost, he made me feel like a kid again. Safe. I wanted to stay there forever.
“You’re so big now,” he said. “You’re all grown up.”
“Yeah,” I said through the pain. “I guess I am.”
“I guess you know now why I was so emotional the first time I heard your name.”
I nodded and stepped back to look at him. “I’m so sorry I went through your stuff.”
He chuckled. “No you’re not. Besides, it’s not like I could take any of it with me.”
“I should have just left everything as it was. If I had, none of this would have happened.”
“You’re a seeker,” Grampy replied. “You always were.” He smiled. “Just like your aunt.”
“The one I never knew of.”
“No, one of the secrets I kept close to my chest. Kinda like the friend you have.” He winked at me.
He had a point; I guess I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t keep my own secrets any longer.
“She would have loved you,” he continued. “You’re just like her, y’know. She was always so eager to find her own way, even if it meant creating a mess. But one thing Annaka always taught me was to keep memories close, even if the ones you shared them with are gone. That’s why she gifted me the journal right before she passed, which I eventually passed along to you.”
“Woah.”
I had no idea my aunt had gifted the journal to my grandfather. She must’ve known he would need it for the moments he felt alone. But when Grampy found that sense of belonging he had always been searching for, he was able to let go of the past. So he gifted the journal to me. I let that sit with me for a little while. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. I held on, wanting this moment to last forever.
“Your friend,” Grampy spoke. “He needs your help.”
“But I don’t know what to do!”
“There’s only one thing you can do.”
I knew my grandfather was right, and that’s what hurt. But what hurt even more was knowing there would be a future without him. One I had to navigate on my own. Contrary to what I’d been up to, time doesn’t slow for anyone.
“I can’t leave him,” I said quietly. “I won’t leave him.”
“Annaka, we can’t live in the past. Just like your aunt taught me: all of this, all of us, we’re temporary. We don’t need a journal to live forever. The people in your life will always be around you, in the memories you share. The good, the bad, all of it.” He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. “Clay loves you deeply. I know this is the hardest decision you’ll ever have to make, but he needs you to do it. He will always be with you, even if his physical presence was temporary.”
Everyone is temporary. That thought buried itself deep in my heart. As difficult as it was to hear, I knew it was a truth I had to face.
“He was always there to protect you. Just like my sister was there to protect me. Keep the memories, because those are only gifts that we can keep across time.”
I didn’t say anything after that. I let silence fill the air.
Grampy eventually whispered in my ear. “It’s time.”
It was.
I stood up slowly and walked back to the front door. I looked back one more time to see Grampy. He smiled.
“You’re a grown-up now. This is the hard part.”
“You’re right about that.” A tear made its way down my face.
“Goodbye, Annaka,” he said one last time.
“Goodbye, Grampy. I’ll miss you.” I opened the door.
“I’m always with you, co-pilot,” his voice echoed in the distance.
I walked outside, and headed for the tree house. I knew Clay would be there. Once I made it to the ladder, I glanced back and couldn’t see our home anymore. It had faded. It was time to let go. No matter how hard it would hurt.
“Clay!” I called out. “Clay, where are you?” I climbed the ladder and found the damaged journal on the floor. Blue energy flowed all around it.
“Clay,” I whispered.
“I’m here.”
He appeared in front of me, and he wasn’t in good shape. His nose was still bleeding and he was gasping for air.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I cried, and took him in my arms.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He hugged me back.
“You’re my best friend.” I squeezed harder than I should have. “And I love you so so so much, Clay.”
“I love you too.” He held on. “But it’s time.” He rested his forehead on mine.
I looked at the journal and knew it was beyond repair.
“Thank you for coming back, Annaka.” He looked at me deeply.
I knew
