“It doesn’t matter who sent them to me, Logan.” Lena’s yelling, her voice echoing off the walls. Her eyes engulf in flames, clouding over the tears she’s still shedding. She’s a mixture of anger and pain, combusting.
“Yes, it does.” I lean forward, pressing my palms flat on the table, leveling with her. “It matters because whoever sent you these is trying to make it seem like I’m having an affair. I’m not, Lena. I promise you.”
“Seem like you’re having an affair?” She points to her phone. “Looks pretty clear to me.” Her chin quivers, the sadness filling her face once again. A sharp pain twists in my chest at the way she’s looking at me.
“How could you do this to me?” she asks. “To us? And with Natalie. After everything...” she rolls her eyes away from me again. The fact that she can’t even look me in the face breaks me even more.
“This is such bullshit,” I tell her. “I’m not cheating on you with Natalie.”
“Then explain those pictures then.”
I’m noticing she won’t look at the pictures anymore. Her phone rests on the table between us, the phone finally timing out, the screen fading to black.
I inhale a deep breath and close my eyes. When I reopen them, I make sure I’m staring straight at Lena, even if she won’t face me. “Okay. One of those were from the day I had to go to the market to place an order. I didn’t know Natalie was going to be there. She invited herself. We went to place the order then she wanted a smoothie before we left.” I wave my hand out, continuing my explanation. “The one in the parking lot was when we were walking out to our cars after we closed up the restaurant. I don’t know why, but she kissed me. It was completely out of the blue and caught me off guard.” I squeeze my eyes shut, rubbing the pressure away with my fingertips.
“Oh,” she says, not believing me. She bites the inside of her cheek. “If that’s true then why didn’t you just tell me?”
Her swollen eyes widen, two orbs filled with tears.
I pause, swallowing. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Wow,” she scoffs. “Like this hurts any less.” Her voice is now intertwined with her tears, vibrating as her chest rises and falls with every breath.
She slides her chair back, pulling herself to a stand. Tears still fall onto her T-shirt as she spins around, heading for the stairs.
“Where are you going?”
She ignores me, taking the stairs two at a time. I follow her down the hall and to our bedroom. She emerges from the closet with a large overnight bag. Still unable to face me, she stalks over to her drawers, grabbing at anything she can find. She grabs a large handful of socks and underwear, tossing them into the bag.
“I’m going to stay with Abby,” she mutters. Her full bottom lip quivers, sniffing as the tears continue to spill.
I shake my head. “No. Stay here and talk to me about this.” My eyes follow her as she disappears back into the closet. She comes back out with an armful of clothes.
“Why should I bother giving you the chance to talk about this when you didn’t even give me the chance before?”
“This is ridiculous,” I tell her, resting my hands on my hips. Our breaths are heavy and weighted, moving in unison.
We breathe in then out. In. Out.
“No,” she yells. Her eyebrows dip in anger, her eyes sparking with flames again. “What’s ridiculous is you saying this is bullshit. What’s ridiculous is you buying me a brand-new laptop and pretending our marriage is some perfect fairy tale. It only makes you more of a liar and it only makes those pictures more true.”
“You think I gave you that laptop as a way of buying you off?” I lean back, wounded by her strike. Every organ in my body is damaged, her words used as weapons against me. “As a way to make up for this affair I’m supposedly having?” Her anger fuels the fire raging inside me. Up until now, I’ve listened to Lena as she accused me of keeping secrets when I know she’s been keeping them too. “No. You want to know why I didn’t tell you about Natalie?”
Lena steps back from the bed, surprised by my sudden change in direction. She holds her breath, preparing herself for what I’m about to say.
“I didn’t tell you because you’ve been keeping secrets too.” I smirk, releasing a humorless laugh. “Oh, and don’t you even try denying it. I can see it behind your eyes, Len. Something has been going on with you these past few months and you’re not as good at hiding it as you think you are. That’s why I didn’t tell you about Natalie kissing me.” I can feel the anger building. Again, I’m touching the flame, allowing it to burn down around me. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you could handle it. I can see your demons, Len. They aren’t so different from mine.”
I step closer to her, allowing my words to hang between us. The air is hot, sticky with our continued secrets and lies.
She closes the space between us, looking up at me. “So, what?” she asks, yelling again. “You think that you could just rip us away from Providence and start over without bringing the past with us? It doesn’t work that way, Logan. No matter what spin you try putting on it.”
“Tell me who sent you those pictures, Lena,” I’m begging her again. I don’t want her to leave. I want her to stay and tell me everything she’s been hiding these past few months. The secrets held between me and Lena
