When I get to Abby’s apartment, I text Logan telling him I made it safely. Afterward, I turn my phone on silent.
I knock on Abby’s door, my bag over my shoulder. It’s nearly three in the morning and it isn’t until I’m on her front porch I realize Abby might not even be awake. She surprises me when she swings the door open.
Her apartment is dark, the light overhead highlighting her face in shadows. “Lena?” she asks.
She’s wearing a long T-shirt and cotton shorts, her silver hair tied high into a messy bun. Her face transforms, realizing the state I’m in. Her eyes fall to my bag then she sighs, bringing me in for a hug.
“Hey. Do you mind if I stay with you tonight?” I hold back the tears, biting my bottom lip. The last seam rips, my heart splitting beneath my chest.
Deep concern embeds her expression. “Come here,” she says, pulling me into her apartment.
I follow her inside, my shoulders slumped. She removes my bag for me, placing it on the small loveseat in the living room. This is the first time I’ve been to Abby’s apartment. She flips the light switch in the kitchen, the light filtering into the living room where I haven’t moved.
“What happened?” she asks, pulling me to sit beside her on the couch. I look up, examining her apartment. There isn’t much to it. A small TV sits on a small gray painted wood table. Plain white walls surround us, not a single picture hanging. The couch we’re sitting on is tiny, barely giving enough room for me and Abby. It looks like Abby’s just moved in, even though she’s lived here a few months.
“Lena?” she asks, running her hand across the back of my head. She tucks my hair behind my ear.
I inhale a shaky breath. It feels like I haven’t spoken in hours, my voice caught in my swollen throat. I clear it, hoping it’ll give me the strength to speak out loud. “I think Logan’s been having an affair.”
Abby sits back in shock, her hand sliding down my back. “Are you sure?”
I nod, wringing my hands in my lap. I twist my fingers, my knuckles curling around each other. My bones are reminders that this is my reality, that the truth has finally been said out loud.
“How do you know?”
Looking up at her, I tilt my head, feeling my eyes grow heavier. “Someone sent me pictures.”
“Pictures?” she asks, confused.
“Yeah.” I nod again, shifting my eyes back to my lap.
“With who?”
“Natalie.” Her name stings on my tongue, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I close my eyes, the picture of her kissing Logan plastered behind my eyelids.
“The chef he’s been training?” I open my eyes, turning to Abby. She sits back, her eyebrows slanting in anger. She purses her lips and shakes her head. “I knew I had a bad feeling about her.”
“What do you mean?” I ask her. Abby never mentioned her concern about Natalie to me.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I just have these feelings about certain people sometimes. I can tell what type of person they are. The way she looked at Logan. The way she talked about him. It gave me this vibe like she was infatuated with him or something.” She points. “Like that time we surprised him for lunch. Wasn’t it odd how they came out from the kitchen? Logan took a long time and then the way Natalie sidled up to him. A little too comfortably if you ask me.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way.” I swipe my hand across my cheek. “Why didn’t you say anything to me about it.”
She shrugs. “I figured it was none of my business.”
I nod, sucking in my bottom lip, digging my teeth into it. It’s the only sensation that makes me feel like this isn’t some crazy dream. This was real.
Abby grits her teeth, wincing. “Can I see the pictures?”
“I guess.” I sigh, pulling out my phone. There’s a text from Logan but I ignore it, going straight for the email. I hand my phone to Abby. “I don’t even want to look at them anymore.”
Abby studies them, taking her time before swiping to the next. Her eyes land on the last one, the one with Natalie and Logan kissing in the parking lot. “Oh, Lena.” she sighs, her shoulders falling. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t...” I swallow the lump in my throat, my emotions coming back up in waves. “I don’t know what to do. He says it isn’t true.”
“Men always try to get away with this shit. It’s like it’s in their DNA.” She rubs my back, her warm palm drawing circles on my back. “Are you going to leave him after this?”
I hesitate, the weight of her question hitting me like a thousand-ton rock landing on my chest. I breathe in. The thought of leaving Logan forever is too much for me to handle. “Maybe.” I wince, the word holding no weight. “I don’t know. Logan’s different, Abby,” I tell her, tilting my head to her once again. “I want to believe him, I do. It’s just, I feel like we’ve been keeping so many secrets from one another that I’m having a hard time deciding between what’s fact or fiction.”
“What kind of secrets? I thought you told each other everything?”
I stare into her eyes, the guilt rising in me. Like Logan, I haven’t told Abby about my emails from Julian. If I can’t even tell Logan about them, how can I bring myself to tell Abby? Despite the situation Logan has put us in, I still value our marriage. “Nothing really. Just small things.” I keep it vague, not wanting to tell her too much and worry her. “I’m okay.”
“Okay.” Abby stands, resting her hands on her hips as she stares down at me. “How about we have a
