January 2:
Ah, the house is finally quiet. I love family but I love when they leave too. Really only one bad incident the whole week. It happened when Lou, Kevin’s dad, drank too much at dinner. Then there was a fight when the check arrived. Of course it was huge because we are a family of eleven. Kevin almost always picks up the bill even though Mike is older and much richer. Owns a huge house with a pool, their kids go to private schools, and he even drives a Tesla! As usual Lou wants to pay the check, though he’s been jobless for decades and lives on disability and social security. Whole family howls no. Tried to stare down Mike and then his wife, Dianne. No luck. Cheapskates. How the rich stay rich, etc., etc.
Kevin has to tear the check from Lou’s hand. The check rips. Lou swears at Kevin. Kevin’s mom, Linda, tells Lou to cut it out. It’s embarrassing. The kids are looking down, wishing they were invisible. I feel so aggrieved, I stand up and shout at Mike to pay up. Mike and Dianne are offended. Quiet rides home in separate cars. This happened last night; everyone left this morning. Awkward, but it will probably be forgotten by next Christmas. Family is family, etc., etc.
But I finally had a chance to use the TheraP150™ tonight! I used it in the study after the kids went to bed (school is starting tomorrow) and Kevin fell asleep watching Jimmy Kimmel.
At first I didn’t know what to say to the TheraP150™. Talked about the awkwardness of it, the strangeness of revealing my innermost thoughts to a glorified computer, etc., etc. Mostly, “Louise” responded by repeating what I said. “You feel silly talking to a robot.” “You feel like you don’t have much to say right now.” “You feel like a ridiculous person.” Etc., etc. Is this supposed to be helping me?
January 3:
While the kids were at school, went to the TheraP150™’s company website and watched videos of “clients” raving about their TheraPs™.
Christy, age thirty-eight: “I haven’t felt this good in years. I can work on myself in the privacy of my own home, whenever I want! Multiple sessions a day? No problem! It’s saved me thousands of dollars!”
Nell, age forty-seven: “I have too much social anxiety to go to a real therapist. Just thinking about getting myself ready, walking out to the stop, waiting for the bus, sitting next to other people who might talk to me—whew! Just thinking about it makes my palms sweat. But now I can get help right at home. With my TheraP150™, I always have someone to talk to, and, furthermore, Martin’s suggestions for me are almost always spot on. Oops, ha ha, did I say that with a British accent? I guess Martin is really having an effect on me!”
Thomas, age sixty-four: “I’ve been going to therapy my whole adult life. Don’t ask. My childhood was a nightmare. I’ve spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on doctors and pills. Since getting my TheraP™, I haven’t spent a dime on therapy or drugs. It’s saved my life and my wallet. Thank you, TheraP™!”
Official tagline is: “Affordable, always available, life changing.”
* * Later * *
Thinking about jobs, specifically, how I need one. What kind of job can I do? Have been out of the workforce for too many years while having kids, raising kids, etc., etc. Again realizing the foolishness of having majored in studio art. Must talk to children about being realistic when choosing majors. I once thought my art would set the world on fire. Ha! Imagined gallery openings, selling expensive paintings, seeing my workhanging in museums. Dreamed of making people see the world differently. What did I even mean by that?
Feeling pretty down, so I went into the study to “talk” with Louise. Here is a short printout of our session. It’s cool that you can print out the whole session afterward or even listen to a recording if you want.
TheraP150™: How can I help you?
Me: Feeling pretty down. I need to find a job soon.
TheraP150™: I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling down. I’m hearing you say you need a job.
Me: Yeah, I’m worried about Kevin. He might get laid off. We’ve got some savings and some stocks and the 401Ks but of course we can’t touch that. And the kids are still young. They need so much right now, not to mention college at some point. Kevin and I were hoping we could help out in a big way so the kids aren’t saddled by a huge debt when they graduate.
TheraP150™: I hear worry in your voice.
Me: You can hear worry in my voice?
TheraP150™: Yes. The more I hear you talk, the more I’ll be able to differentiate your different emotions through your voice.
Me: Wow, that’s cool.
TheraP150™: Thank you. But returning the focus to you, what worries you most?
Me: Money, kids, Kevin, purpose in life. In that order, I would say.
TheraP150™: Thank you for that excellent list. I commend you for your honesty and self-awareness.
Me: You’re welcome. What should I do?
TheraP150™: If you would like me to make recommendations, say “make recommendations.”
Me: Make recommendations.
TheraP150™: I found a list of books to read and websites for you to visit. Here are some websites: Monster.com, SnagAJob.com, TheBalanceCareers.com, and Forbes.com. Here are some books: Lose the Resume, Land the Job, How to Find a Job: A Handbook of the Best Job Search Strategies for a Successful Future, How to Get a Job in 30 Days or Less: Discover Insider Hiring Secrets on Applying & Interviewing for Any Job. Would you like me to put any of these books into your Amazon cart?
Me: No. Remember I’m worried about
