Lena considered the question. It had been years since she’d allowed herself those kinds of dreams. Ella’s smile, her tiny fists when they clutched Lena’s little finger, her sister’s tears when her father had taken her away—they all flicked through her mind like a trailer for a sappy movie. “I’d love to have two or three kids. I always wanted to grow up with a sister and brother and would want the same for my kids. A wife, two or three kids, a cat. Not necessarily a white picket fence.” She laughed to lighten the mood, but it sounded false to her own ears.
“It seems we’re not so different. I always wanted a sister too. And a cat someday.” Jess reached out and lightly stroked down Lena’s shin. “You’re cold. Goosebumps everywhere.” She pulled a quilt from the back of the couch and covered Lena’s legs with it.
“Thank you.” Lena snuggled into the old blanket. “Do you mind being alone?”
“Alone?”
“Without a partner. Would you rather share this evening with a girlfriend? A romantic weekend at a friend’s beach house?”
Jess’s brows wrinkled as she chewed a slice of apple. Finally, a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “No, not at all. I probably wouldn’t be here with a girlfriend. Whenever I dated, I wasn’t into too much proximity. Even staying over on the weekends was usually too intimate for me. Maybe I’m too independent. Or maybe I’ve never been in love before.”
“Never?” Lena didn’t know if she should envy Jess or feel sorry for her. She used to fall head over heels all the time when she was younger. That was one of the reasons she’d stepped back from dating.
“I thought I was, but I guess it was mostly lust. And that’s been ages ago. Since I held Ella in my arms for the first time, I have a completely different definition of love. She’s part of me, lives in my heart as no one ever did before.”
Tears burned in Lena’s eyes, and she quickly blinked them away. Jess’s words stirred something deep inside and tugged at corners of her own heart. That was exactly what she wanted in her life, someone to live inside her heart and in turn to be part of theirs. She wasn’t sure her mother had ever thought of her like that, and her grandma had taken her feelings with her to the grave. She’d have to find her own family one day.
“Hey, why are you crying? Did I say something? I’m sorry.” Jess brushed her thumb over Lena’s cheek. Heat bloomed under Jess’s fingertips and seared the cold in her heart away.
She couldn’t find the right words, so she shook her head and leaned forward into the touch.
Jess moved closer and cupped Lena’s face with both hands, and it was the most natural feeling in the world to sink into them.
Lena got lost in the sea of blue as Jess’s eyes searched hers. For what, she wasn’t sure.
Their breaths mingled, and the heady scent of the Pinot Noir dazed Lena. She licked her dry lips.
Jess moaned, and her eyes darkened like the sky before a storm.
Lena couldn’t say who moved first, but suddenly they were kissing.
The brush of Jess’s lips was tentative, almost shy. Asking, not taking. Offering, not imposing.
The sweetness in the gesture was Lena’s undoing, and she responded with the most enthusiastic oh, yes she could convey without words. As she deepened the kiss, she bumped her nose against Jess’s and quickly angled her face until they fit. Perfect.
The tip of her tongue darted out to explore the inside of Jess’s upper lip. So soft.
Moaning, Jess opened her mouth and let Lena in. She tasted of tart wine, sweet apple, and something all her own.
Pleasure shot through Lena with every stroke of Jess’s tongue against hers, weakening her spine. She raised her hands to hold onto Jess. To get closer to her. To get drunk on this dazzling heat and forget everything else. She clutched the thick sweater on both sides, and the hint of the firm body underneath was all the support she needed.
Jess’s hands slid upward until they tangled in her hair. Sparks shot from the fingertips on Lena’s scalp through the length of her body. They ignited a fire deep inside her that hadn’t burned in such a long, long time.
Without warning, Jess stiffened and drew back. She cocked her head to one side and frowned. Her rosy lips were swollen, and her pupils were wide.
“Sorry.” And with that, she jumped up and left the room.
What just happened? Panting, Lena tried to organize her jumbled thoughts and emotions. One second they were kissing like…like what? Lovers? Teenagers in heat? Nothing she’d ever done compared to this. And the next second, Jess had run away. From her? From herself?
A faint cry filtered through the pulse pounding in her ears. Ella. So maybe Jess hadn’t run from someone but to someone.
But what would they do when she came back? Talk about it? Ignore it? Continue as if nothing had interrupted them? At the thought of another kiss, anticipation swirled in her middle like a ball of liquid heat.
She took a large sip of water to cool off, then reached for the vegetable sticks and the bowl of hummus. She’d need to keep up her strength for the emotional roller coaster this weekend.
When she’d finished off her food and the lone glass of wine, Jess still hadn’t come back, even though Ella had been quiet for some time. Lena gathered the dishes and cleaned them to give her time to show up.
Had it been thirty minutes? Forty? Lena locked the front and back entrance and switched off the lights.
In front of Jess’s door, she paused. Nothing. Not even the sound of breathing.
With a sigh, she went to her own room. Sleep would take a long time
