“You think you’re giving up now? You’d given up a long time ago. Why do you think I became so strong? Because I was the only one fighting. I’m that part of you that fights when you’re afraid, that stands when you want to fall, that hunts when you need to eat. I’m what hides your trauma because you can’t bear to remember it. I carry those nightmares constantly, so you only remember but a glimpse. I’m the one that kills rather than let you die. I’m the part that shows strength when you show weakness. I protect you and what you love. I’m what carries you when you can’t walk. You may think you are willing to give up, but I’m the thing inside you that’s not done fighting.”
It was true. My shadow had been running my life because I stopped fighting. I gave up and I let it in. I let everything pass me by, and all this time it was waiting for me to wake up, to fight for my own life, to find purpose and strength, to learn how to do these things on my own, without its sadistic methods. It was like Jude had told me. Our darkness was created out of a time in our lives where they were necessary. They’re what kept us alive until we were strong enough to fight ourselves.
I looked up at my shadow out of the corner of my eye.
“We can get through this, we can be better,” it said, extending its hand, “Let me help you.”
Exhaustion weighed on me as if my skin was suddenly made of iron, pushing my body against the floor. I struggled to move my hand out from under me and placed it closer to my shadow’s.
“You’ll protect me, keep me safe, keep what I love safe?” I asked.
“At whatever cost,” it nodded.
“If you falter, if you fail. . . I will destroy you. I will destroy us.” I said.
“I won’t fail.”
“Take us back; it’s time to be strong. Take me back,” I said with exhaustion.
My shadow pulled me up by my hand and wrapped my arm over its shoulder to carry me to the other side. My body dangled, nearly lifeless. As we walked, I faded into its essence and it carried me the rest of the way through the door, in silence and strength.
As we stepped through the door, I felt my body shoot through time and space like being strapped to a rocket. While gaining velocity, I felt the strength of my shadow fading into me. The force slammed me back into my body, collecting the torment it had endured and swallowing it. The pain transformed into strength. My wounds and weakness evaporated. The cuts sewed themselves together and the pain vanished.
My eyes shot open to see Franklin standing before me with his bodyguard, both had arms outstretched, pointing their guns across the room. Their shouts and demands came into focus as I glanced to the other side. Close to me was Caro, Katia cowering behind her for protection. By the door stood Law, Caleb, and Jude.
“How the fuck did they find us?” Franklin spat.
“With this,” Caro said, tilting her head slightly upward and tossing one of Law’s beepers down onto the floor in front of Franklin. Franklin glanced down in confusion and realized he had been betrayed once he saw Caro’s name inscribed across the faceplate.
“You fuckin’ bitch!” Franklin shouted and squeezed the trigger.
As the gun went off, the bang reverberated through the empty room in a loud echo out of the silence of hesitation.
“Franklin!” Law shouted.
“Oh, look who showed up! Lawless.” Franklin said.
“Franklin, it’s time to turn yourself in. Officers are on their way. They already know what you did,” Law said, with his hands outstretched to calm Franklin down, “Let me help Caro. If I don’t, it will only make it worse for you.”
Franklin took a few slow steps toward Caro.
“No! I’m not going down! I beat my destiny. Danielle’s dead and she’ll never destroy me. If I can change that, I can change anything!” Franklin said, firing multiple rounds at Law and the others. His bodyguard followed suit, creating an eruption of deafening blasts. Bullets pelted them and they dropped back to the ground. Law took one right between the eyes, Caleb was hit on the right side of his chest and his collarbone, Jude seemed to have eluded gunfire as he grabbed Law and tried to protect him.
“I’m not going to die! You hear me! I will never die!” Franklin shouted hysterically into the air.
I stretched my fingers in my seat, still feeling the constraints against my arms and legs and waist. Even in this tiny movement I felt immense strength. It was ready. I clenched my fists and watched that familiar crimson wash over the room. I lifted my wrist from the armrests and the chains popped like they were made of plastic.
Franklin turned toward me in disbelief. His mouth gaped open, dumbfounded, making him appear almost frozen.
As I stood, I felt the wounds of my flesh finish closing and I glared down at Franklin. Franklin stepped back repeatedly in horror, knowing he was about to meet his demise. I said nothing to him and I walked toward Caro. She writhed on the ground in pain. Caleb attempted hopelessly to tend to his own wounds, and Law remained on the floor as Jude attempted to bring him to consciousness.
I felt the fire and ice within me collide in a liquid flame. I shot a look at Franklin, who looked ready to run, “These are my friends, Franklin, whom I care for very much.”
I stretched my hand out in their direction. I felt the pieces inside of me connecting, like dominos falling into place. As the last one fell, I
