“I’m scared to think what would’ve happened if Caro didn’t turn on Franklin.”
“Fucking Caro, the mystery of the century. I do have less of a desire to kill her,” I said.
“Well, I sure hope so,” Caleb said, lifting his eyebrows.
“Why do you say that?”
“Cause she’s going to be staying with us, her and that other one too.”
“Katia? Are you fucking kidding me?” I said, letting the back of my head hit the wall.
“They’re not so bad. Katia seems nice. Caro’s actually quite terrifying, to be honest.”
“Law’s always one for second chances.”
“I just can’t wait to be back to good again. I’m not sure Katia being here will make that easy. That girl, Katia she showed me something that terrified me, something that changed me. Caleb, it shook me to my core. It’s what broke me. If I hadn’t endured everything else they put me through, and they had solely showed me what she showed me, it would have broken me all the same.”
“What was it?”
“I can’t. I can’t talk about it. I fear speaking it into existence. I don’t ever want to think about it again or be reminded of it. So, if Katia is going to stay here, then I can’t. I won’t let what she showed me ever become a reality, at whatever cost. It can never happen. I won’t let it.”
“Okay,” Caleb said, as I zoned out. He placed a hand on my knee, “I’ll let Law know.”
“Thank you.”
“You know, a lot has changed since you’ve been out of commission.”
“What do you mean?”
“The governor exonerated Law. They’re expunging his record. Some state investigation agency took the case and thought there was more than enough evidence to not only remove Franklin from power, but his father, although retired, is going to be disbarred, and Jeff Hooker too. Over forty-five percent of the police department was terminated. Law is set for a special setting to be administered the bar exam. He’s going to be a lawyer.”
“Holy shit, that’s amazing! Why didn’t he tell me?” I asked.
“I think he didn’t want to get in the way of you focusing on getting better. Apparently he’s come up with something he thinks will aid in the healing process.”
“I think just getting back into a normal routine will help me feel better,” I said, “Get back to work, you know?”
“Have you noticed anything different?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean with your trigger,” He said.
“I don’t know if I could tell at this point, but why do you ask?”
“Your shadow it’s not confined anymore, your trigger doesn’t work.”
“How do you know that?”
“Tanya your thoughts have been invading her mind since we found you. She says you think some pretty wild thoughts, not to mention some pretty scandalous things,” Caleb said, glancing at me sideways. I smacked him on the arm.
“Well, tell her if she doesn’t like it, to get out of my mind,” I said, and Caleb laughed, “It kind of sucks though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I guess with having the trigger, I felt like I had more control as to when my shadow could manifest, when it was okay, and I could keep it confined. Especially now, I’m not sure I have the ability to control it like I did before.”
“It might take time, but you will. You’re going to be stronger than before.”
“I hope so. I actually have a confession,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“I think you might be becoming my best friend.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” Caleb laughed out loud, “Mission accomplished.”
I smiled at him, “You still annoy me though.”
“I hope I always will,” he said, as his laugh subsided, “You ready for breakfast tomorrow?”
“Everyone’s going to be here?”
“Yup.”
“Caro?”
“Caro too.”
Sigh. “I guess as ready as I’ll ever be.”
I awoke the following morning around seven. Then I did what I had done almost every morning for weeks. I lifted the corner of the mattress of my bed and pulled out the envelope my brother had given to me from my mother. I held it close to my face trying to breath in the remnants of her scent, that had long gone. I yearned to know what the letter said, but knew I was in no state to read it now. So instead I just held it, and imagined the wonderful things it might say, knowing the contents, on the contrary, were likely unsettling. She could blame me for what she did, she could blame Nathan, she could talk about what happened to her, or talk about what happened between her in Christian, maybe she wrote the truth, maybe what Franklin’s illusion showed me was a lie. As dark thoughts began to invade and overshadow my optimism, I hid the envelope back under the mattress.
I pulled myself up from the beside the bed and exited the room to take shower. After weeks of being confined, I wanted to look presentable for my first appearance. As I climbed out of the shower, I sat on the floor for several minutes, letting my strength build to finish readying myself for this ‘Welcome Back Breakfast’.
I grabbed my gray V-neck t-shirt from the counter, as I inhaled the smell of clean and rubbed my face against the soft fabric. I found comfort in its texture. I put it on and grabbed my jeans and slid them on. I blow dried my hair and ran a comb through it. I put a little effort into styling it, as to give the impression that it was supposed to look a mess intentionally. As I ran my brush through my hair, something caught my eye.
I leaned closer to the mirror, studying my reflection for the first time in a long time and pulled a layer of my hair back from behind my ear. Amongst the jet black strands of hair was a blatant streak of white, which seems to have appeared without my knowledge. I touched it to see if perhaps I had something in my hair. It was real, and
