They held hands. They held on.
So now they were back home, in a house-arrest limbo, waiting to hear how Minnie’s biological parents would take the news.
Hope was well aware that the future didn’t look too bright for her. She toyed with the idea of contacting Isaac, to let him know what she’d done, but then it occurred to her that it might be best to leave him in blissful ignorance. While she honestly didn’t know his whereabouts, she could truthfully tell that to the police. They didn’t need to know about the letters, they didn’t need to know that Minnie COULD find him. Just as he had stepped away in order to preserve the secret and allow Minnie and Hope to be together all those years ago, Hope would now do anything she could to protect him. Minnie also agreed to defend Isaac by staying quiet about him. She was facing the very real possibility of being separated from her mother; she wanted to at least leave the chance of a relationship with her father open, especially now that she knew he had been with her all along.
Lee was at home, checking on his sister, so Hope and Minnie cooked pasta and chicken and shared a relatively peaceful contemplative evening together. The calm between two storms.
As they sat down, Minnie put her bowl of food aside.
‘You OK, Min?’ enquired her mum.
‘Yeah, think so. Feel a bit weird.’
‘That’ll be the baby. They tip everything up. Nothing feels the same any more. I was quite sick with you. Well. Not you. Y’know what I mean. With the baby.’
‘Yeah. With Minnie. I don’t feel sick actually. I feel ate up. Not right. Crunchy. Don’t want this food suddenly, and it’s my favourite pasta. Not fair,’ Minnie said grumpily as she returned her dish to the worktop in the kitchen, and clattered it down. ‘I legit feel weird. Sort of here.’ She pointed at her general chest area.
‘Come and sit down. It’s probably all the stress; it’s been crazy these last couple of days. I’m sorry, Min. It’s all my fault. You’ll be fine.’
Minnie plonked down next to Hope. ‘Thanks, Mum.’
Hope took her in her arms, and could feel her breathing fast and shallow. ‘Calm down, Min, seriously.’
‘I don’t know what’s wrong,’ said Minnie breathlessly.
‘I think it might be a panic attack, so just breathe nice and easy, darlin’ girl. Big deep breaths. That’s it. Steady.’ Hope was starting to feel concerned. ‘This will pass.’
‘Will it?’ Minnie needed reassurance.
‘Yes. It will. No doubt. Listen, because of me and the bad-but-I-don’t-regret-it-for-one-second thing I did, your entire body is probably in trauma. No wonder you feel strange. Don’t worry, Minnie Moo, I’m here.’ Hope clasped Minnie’s head close to her and stroked it comfortingly, as she’d always done since she was a baby.
‘I don’t think you will always be here, Mum,’ Minnie whispered.
The awful truth of that landed squarely on Hope. There was going to be a huge price to pay for what she’d done; she knew that.
‘Hush now, come on. Whatever happens, Min, we will somehow get through it together. We’re joined. Heart to heart. You know that.’
‘Yes. I know. I do know.’
‘Is it getting easier …?’ Hope noticed her breathing was gentler.
‘Yeah. Think so. God, that was so random.’
‘You’ll be fine, but just to be sure, we’ll check in with the doc tomorrow. Could be something or nothing. Blood pressure maybe? Or a little anxious thing? Or something? Let’s just look after you and Bean and be sure. I’ll call for an appointment.’
‘I’ll get Lee to take me.’
‘Oh, right, yes, of course. I have to get used to the daddy being involved!’ Hope chuckled.
‘And you, Mum. Course you should come with us. You’re my mum. This is your grandchild.’
‘That’s right, Min. And I can’t wait!’
They sat in silence.
‘Fuck, Mum. What’s going to happen?’
‘More interviews, more police. I just have to tell the truth.’
There was a soft knock on the door, and Hope went to answer it. She knew who it was; she’d invited them over.
‘Hey,’ said Hope as she answered the door to Doris and Glory. They greeted Minnie and bustled about making coffee in the kitchen.
Doris said, ‘So what’s the big deal? What do you need to tell us?’
Glory said, ‘Yeah, sounded so mysterious on the phone – wh’appen?’
‘I think you’d better forget the coffee, and come and sit down.’
The Morning After
Nobody slept much that night. Nanna Doris and Glory found the shocking news difficult to process and they’d had a million questions for Hope, all of which she’d tried to answer as openly and honestly as she could, however difficult or intrusive.
The whole night was a roller coaster of bewilderment, anger, blame and resistance. There were raised voices and stomping off and tutting and crying and hugging.
Lee arrived back at the flat around ten o’clock, and became the waiter, providing cups of tea and slices of pizza as the night wore on. He spectated the roasting of Hope. It wasn’t his place to join in. This was serious family territory.
There was a barrage of questions:
‘How did you get her out of the hospital?’
‘How did no one see?’
‘How did you hide her from the police?’
Those practical enquiries were simpler to answer. When Nanna Doris asked, ‘What happened to your Minnie?’ and Glory asked, ‘So who is Minnie to me now? Is she still my niece?’ it was devastating. Glory saw the look of anguish on Minnie’s face and adjusted her words, ‘I mean, of course she’s still my niece! We all love you, Min, exactly the way we always have. It just feels like there’s something different.’
‘Are you saying’ – Minnie needed to know – ‘that I’m not part of the family now? That I don’t belong any more? Oh my actual God …’
‘Of course you’re part of our family, that doesn’t change,’ Hope tried to reassure her.
Minnie thought for a moment, and said, ‘Well, I’m not part of anyone
