Finishing off my water, I threw the bottle into the garbage. It looks like I was going to need some help getting back to sleep tonight. I picked my backpack up off the floor from where I kept it tucked by the couch I slept on. I was all about trying to make myself as small as possible.
Didn’t want Shanice to feel crowded and then make me leave. Everything I owned was in this bag. I didn’t leave anything in her bathroom or in her kitchen. I didn’t even leave anything here in her living room. When I left her house each day, everything I owned went with me.
The only way she could tell I had even been here, was by the blanket she let me borrow that was folded neatly at the end of the couch with the pillow she let me borrow stacked neatly on top.
It was safe to say I was officially a bag lady. Everything I owned I carried on my back everywhere I went. My backpack was the only true home I had left. Couldn’t count on Shanice, I couldn’t count on anyone. Learned that lesson the hard way… one day someone was here, and the next they were gone.
My hand settled on the big black t-shirt that was folded so neatly and carefully in my bag as not to disturb the other stuff I had folded in there, I pulled it out.
It was strange, but when he had put this shirt on me which was still warm from his body and his smell surrounded me, for the first time since my grandfather died, I felt safe. I closed my eyes and brought the shirt to my nose. His heat was gone but his smell was still there. My breathing became labored as I remembered his piercing midnight gaze. He was so handsome. I don’t think I had ever seen a man more so.
But he wasn’t like the good looking men you saw on TV. Most of those men were pretty. Shoo… some of their skin looked softer than a baby’s. There was nothing soft about Gabriel. Everything about him was hard. From his hard angled face that was covered with a full beautiful beard that made him look more powerful, to his long full braids that fell to kiss his strong shoulders.
He was a light skinned brotha but he wore black like nobody’s business. It was intimidating. When he had taken off his shirt I saw that he had a tattoo peeking out of his tank-top. I couldn’t tell what it was though.
And those muscles… it looked as if he could break me in half if he chose to. So that fact, coupled with his deadly glare, made it all the more surprising when he touched me so gently, as if I was a delicate flower.
Looking around the empty apartment I quickly stood and pulled my cami over my head. With a little grin on my face, I slid his big t-shirt on wanting to see if it still made me feel like I felt earlier. I know it’s silly but amazingly, it still made me feel secure.
I took my mother’s Bible out my bag. It was my normal nightmare repellent. But it looked as if tonight, it was going to have some help. Placing it under my pillow, I curled back up on the couch surrounded by Gabe’s scent. And would you know, I had no problem falling back to sleep.
The next afternoon, I was not surprised to see that Shanice had still not come in. No doubt she found herself a rich man and was in love. I chuckled as I folded my blanket. At least she was in love for the night.
After a quick bowl of Cheerios, I jumped in the shower needing to hurry up and get my wig and stuff on before Shanice walked in.
After dressing in my black jeans and Bugs Bunny tee, I stood in the bathroom mirror and brushed my hair. There was a time my hair had been the bane of my existence. It is so wild and unruly. When I was a little girl my mama used to laugh because she said I looked like a hair ball with legs running around the house.
I missed those days, those days of freedom. No wig, no contacts… no itchy dry eyes. Speaking of which, I reached in my bag and grabbed my solution.
“Dang it!”
It was almost gone. I could not run out of solution, I needed this stuff like Shanice needed her nose candy. It was my drugs because without it my eyes became red and very irritable. Leaning my head back, I used the last of it to rinse my thirsty eyes, making a mental note to pick up another bottle from the drug store on my way home. I had two more pair of contacts in my bag. Had to be careful with them because if they got damaged, I had no idea how I was going to get my prescription filled without using my information.
Goodness, living off the grid was hard.
I finished brushing my hair, and after rolling it in a tight bun, I put the wig on over it, followed with my baseball cap. When I was dressed, I carefully folded my pajamas and placed them in my bag. Because I didn’t have many clothes, I had to take good care of the few items I had.
Plus, they really meant a lot to me. My very favorite thing in the whole world to wear was my pa-pa’s old overalls. My second favorite thing was an old cotton yellow dress that belonged to my granny. It had been washed and dried so many times that the cotton had started to wear thin in some spots, but I didn’t care. When I felt good, I put on my yellow dress.
Some of the
