“I’m fine,” she repeated tonelessly.
“Like hell! You are not fine! Neither am I! I…” he stopped when she turned that tragic gaze in his direction. “Damn it, Pepper. Why did you leave me?”
She shrugged and moved to the window. “I lost our…” her voice cracked. “It doesn’t matter now, does it?”
“Of course it matters,” he growled, coming over to stand behind her. He could see her reflection in the window and realized that she wasn’t crying. Not anymore.
He paused, his heart aching for her. “Do you still think about her?”
“I don’t,” she replied. But he knew she was lying.
“Why not?”
Pepper swallowed and he could feel her pain as if it were a living, breathing thing. “Because I couldn’t…I didn’t…protect…” she inhaled a shaky breath and tried again. “Because.”
His hands rested on her shoulders. “Pepper, you didn’t do anything wrong!”
The tears welled up in her eyes and she shook her head. “I didn’t protect our baby, Dimitri. Of course I’m to blame.” Those big, blue eyes looked up at him. “Are you here so that I can sign the divorce papers?” she asked, shrugging out of his arms.
He wanted to yell at her, to pull her into his arms and hold her close. He wanted to love her and show her that she was still alive! But Pepper wouldn’t let him do any of that. Not yet!
“There are no divorce papers,” he replied firmly.
That caught her attention. “No papers? But…we’re going to divorce! There’s no reason to be married any more. Why wouldn’t we divorce?”
He saw the panic in her blue eyes and had to hold onto his resolve. He couldn’t lose her! Not now. Not ever! “Because I love you, Pepper. And I didn’t marry you simply because you were pregnant!”
Pepper cringed as if he’d slapped her. “Yes. That was the reason we married. I told you that I was pregnant and you…we got married that weekend.”
He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Pepper, think, honey. I already had the ring the day that you discovered that you were pregnant. I didn’t propose simply because you were pregnant.”
Her cheeks paled. “That’s a lie,” she hissed. “Don’t…don’t lie to me, Dimitri! After everything, all that we’ve been through, don’t lie. We’ve always been honest with each other.”
“Have we?” he demanded. “If we’re always honest with each other, then tell me you don’t love me anymore!” He waited as Pepper took pains not to react. She didn’t say anything. “You can’t say it, can you? Because you love me!”
For a brief moment, she felt a stirring in her chest. It might have been in the vicinity of her heart, but that was impossible. She didn’t have a heart any longer. It had died the day that she’d failed to protect their baby.
Fighting back the tears, she looked away from him. “I need you to go, Dimitri. And you need to divorce me.”
“Not going to happen, agape mou,” he countered, and stepped into her bathroom, disappearing for a moment. She waited, wondering what he was doing in there. She wasn’t sure what the bathroom looked like by now since she hadn’t cleaned it in a while, but it was probably a mess. Pepper couldn’t remember the last time she’d cleaned her home. Looking around, she noticed that there were piles of clothes all over the place, mounds of used clothing with sheets of designs piled on top of them. The designs all had intricate instructions and…when had she done all of this?
Oh yeah! The last forty-one hours! She kept forgetting.
Dimitri reappeared, walking purposefully towards her. He tossed his jacket over her couch and loosened his tie. “I’ll order some breakfast while you shower.” He paused and looked around, taking in the mess. “You know what? Let’s go out for breakfast and I’ll have my assistant get someone in here to clean things up.” He walked over to stand in front of her, placing a hand on her upper arms. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself, Pepper. So I’m going to.”
She pulled away, shaking her head. “I don’t need you to take care of me.”
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. There was an angry silence for a long moment as they glared at each other. “Maybe I need you to take care of me, Pepper.”
That was a startling announcement! “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice hoarse with worry and disuse.
He watched her for a long moment and she felt that empty place in her chest thud with…worry.
“You weren’t the only one who lost our child, Pepper. I did as well. Then I lost you. I love you. And I need you. I lost everything that day when you walked out on me.’
Oh, that was low! She bristled at his words and that hole in her chest thudded louder. “You didn’t care about our baby!”
“I cared!” he told her fiercely. “I was just as excited! Don’t you dare tell me that I didn’t care because…” he stopped, shaking his head. With a weary sigh, he pointed towards the bathroom. “Get in the bath, Pepper. I added the lavender bubbles you love.”
Pepper stared at him, in more pain that she’d thought possible. He was hurting? Somehow, that made everything so much worse! All this time, she’d been wallowing her own pity party, so painfully sad that she’d lost her little baby girl only a week after discovering her existence.
She opened her mouth to argue, but he lifted his hand, stopping her. “You’re not strong enough to handle this conversation, Pepper. Get in the bath. Relax for a while.” He looked around. “From what I can see, you’ve been pushing yourself to death and I’m not going to allow it. Not anymore.”
Pepper glared at him. But she should have known better than to
