Casey cradled her camera in one hand, the fingers of her otherhand twisting the focus ring on the long lens. Jacqueline didn’t have to strainto remember the feel of those fingers against her skin. She also didn’t have towork too hard to conjure up the image of Casey in college. Her blond waves werethe softest Jacqueline had ever touched, and it broke Jacqueline’s heart whenshe restrained them in a ponytail so they wouldn’t blow into her face while shewas shooting. When she talked about her art, passion lit her blue eyes from theinside. Jacqueline had fallen in love first watching those beautiful hands worka camera, then feeling them on her own body.
“Look at him.” Casey pointed near the opposite shore at the birdshe’d just photographed. It had just slipped into the lake and was glidingtoward them. It dipped its head in the water, either bathing or hunting forfood. “He’s gorgeous.”
Jacqueline stuck her hand inside the zipper of her backpack, thenjoined Casey at the railing that circled the dock. “Gorgeous? It’s ugly.” Itwas a duck or a goose of some kind; Jacqueline had never been sure of thedifference. Its head was mottled with patches of white that stood out againstits dark-colored body. Red, warty growths clustered around its beak. “What isit?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you think he’s in here?” Jacqueline pulled a book from behindher back. The cover was worn and creased next to the binding from being foldedback too many times.
“My bird guide.” Casey grabbed the book and immediately startedflipping through it. “Where did you get this?”
“It was mixed in with some of my books. I must have taken it byaccident—when I moved out.” Jacqueline felt silly admitting that she’d held onto this piece of Casey. Just talking about the day she’d packed her things andleft their home made her stomach churn with nausea. “I’m sorry.”
Casey shrugged. “Clearly I didn’t miss it.”
She hadn’t been talking about the book. “No, I—”
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just a book. I’d have bought another one ifI was that into birds.” Casey touched her cheek and she closed her eyes.
She wanted to move into her, to grab her waist and pull herclose. Instead, she stepped back and said, “Well, get your aviary fill now,because I’m not sitting out here all day.” She smiled to soften the sarcasm inher words.
“You would if I asked you to.” Casey’s broad grin and the cockyedge to her voice felt familiar.
They’d lost this. In the last years of their relationship, they’dstopped making time for these days for the two of them to just hang outtogether. Jacqueline had been working too much. Sean had been young and neededso much of them. And by the time they could even think about focusing on eachother, they were too exhausted.
She’d tuned out the clicking of Casey’s shutter, until sherealized the camera was now pointed at her.
“What are you doing?” She half turned away.
“What were you thinking about just now?” Casey took several stepsforward, circling her to take a couple more shots.
“Why?”
“You looked so—distant, yet beautiful. I couldn’t help myself.”
“Yeah, well, stop it.” She held a hand up between her face andthe lens.
Casey pulled her arm down and held it out of the way. She tappedthe shutter release two more times. “I love the way your face changes with yourmoods. I can see them all, from distracted to embarrassed to irritated.”
“Casey.” Jacqueline grappled with Casey’s wrist and hand, tryingto get hers back in front of the camera.
“You never used to mind being one of my models.” Casey set hercamera on the bench and turned to Jacqueline again. She stepped close, herhands coming to rest on the front of Jacqueline’s shoulders.
Jacqueline flashed on a memory that brought a rush of heat to herface. Casey had awakened her one morning with her camera in hand. She’d saidtheir bedroom had the perfect morning light. She’d pushed back the sheet toexpose Jacqueline’s bare skin and taken a series of shots. Jacqueline had posedfor a bit, putting on a bit of a show for her before she grabbed her and pulledher back into bed. The camera lay forgotten on the nightstand for the rest ofthe morning.
“Hmm, from irritated to aroused.” Casey moved in and spoke closeto her ear. “That was always one of my favorites.”
Jacqueline stood very still, not trusting herself to move. Caseyslid her hands up to the sides of Jacqueline’s neck, and Jacqueline grabbed herhips, intending to push her away, but when she felt Casey’s lips against hercheek, she froze.
“Casey,” she whispered on a pleading breath. Kiss me or let me go.
Those words didn’t make it out of her head, but Casey’s next movefelt like a response to them just the same. She brushed her lips over thecorner of Jacqueline’s mouth, then claimed it fully. They angled their headsand slanted their mouths together as if they’d been waiting—Jacquelinehad—she’d been waiting so long for Casey to kiss her, to not feel as if shewere the only desperate fool fighting her feelings.
She pulled Casey flush against her, reveling in the solidpressure from breasts to thighs. Theyfit—they’d always fit like this. That thought hit her as Casey’stongue slid along her lower lip, and Jacqueline tried to push away the reminderthat they didn’t really. Casey was no longer hers. She returned the kiss for amoment longer, taking her own mental snapshot to catalog along with the rest ofher memories.
Sooner than she wanted to, she squeezed Casey’s hips and easedher back. “You can’t do that again.”
“I didn’t plan it that time, Jacq.” Casey hands slid toJacqueline’s chest, and she flexed her fingers in Jacqueline’s shirt.
“You know what it does to me
