I nodded that I had heard him and moved closer, staring at her, missing seeing her sleeping face and how peaceful she was. She stirred and patted the bed before rolling over, confused and looking for whoever’s turn it was as we never left her alone at night.
Well, they didn’t. I hadn’t been in this bed with her yet even. I moved closer and, after taking off my boots, I climbed on the bed with her. I was about to lay next to her, but I found myself above her, remembering the night she first let me into her bed, even if it was that stupid blow up mattress. How far we’d come since then, months and months later, and still her beauty struck me speechless.
She inhaled sharply and her eyelashes fluttered before she stared up at me with a sexy, sleepy gaze. “Darius?”
“Do you still love me?”
“What?” She reached up to wipe her eyes, but I caught her hands and linked our fingers as I leaned down to kiss her. The moment our lips touched she shoved at my chest, not strong enough to move me, but I backed off. “You’re drunk? You ignore me all this time and come to bed drunk for a fucking booty call? Is that what you think I am? Just a whore to fuck when you drink now?”
“What? No, no,” I gasped, my eyes going wide. “I needed you.”
Deep pain filled her eyes as her lower lip quivered. “You mean your dick does. Get off of me.”
I sat back on my feet, pulling her to sit up as well. “No, I want my wife. I want to—please, I miss you.”
She turned like I’d slapped her, yanking her hands away to the point she was going to hurt herself if I didn’t let go so I did. “Get out of my room. You are not welcome here.”
Now it was my turn to react as if I was slapped. Punched. Stabbed in the heart. All of it. I moved off the bed and reached for my boots. “I am so very sorry. I will love you forever and always stand at your side, even if you no longer love me.”
I turned and left, hating myself for letting this go on and wounding her as I had. I didn’t deserve her.
I never had.
I found myself outside drinking again and realized I was at the lake where I’d first met her back in North Carolina. The sun was just starting to come up over the horizon when I felt someone join me.
“What did you do?” Jaxon seethed. “What did you do to her now? She’s sobbing, Darius! You show up wasted, slurring, and saying you need to feel her? Are you out of your fucking mind?”
I blinked at him. “I wasn’t slurring.”
“You were according to Petre and Sisay,” he snapped. “You’re slurring now!”
I simply stared at him a moment and then down at the now empty bottle. “I didn’t…” I tossed the bottle away, scrubbing my hands over my face.
“When was the last time you slept?” he asked, understanding I had no idea if I was coming or going.
“I don’t remember,” I admitted. “I see her crying if I do.”
“Pass out and sober up. I’ll bring her to you here after you do. Don’t fuck this up again, Darius, or I swear to fuck I’ll beat you bloody. This is your last chance from me and I only do it for her. I thought you were a better man than this.”
I had thought so too. Tears fell as I stared up at the sky, begging Aether and my family for help, the strength to win back the woman I loved. I ended up passing out there and for several hours based on the position of the sun when I got up. I felt as gross as I probably was, peeling off my clothes and taking a dip in the lake, thinking of how I snuck glimpses of her back then.
“What are you—we don’t have time for this,” Inez said from the shore.
“I agree you need to talk,” Kristof told her, kissing her forehead. “You forgave me again and again because I didn’t understand and we needed to talk. Listen to the idiot who took too long and punish him as you did me.”
“Why? So he can make me feel shitty again? No thanks,” she rasped.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was drunk,” I called over, hurrying towards her. “I’m so sorry, Inez. I would never treat you like an easy fuck or anything disrespectful.”
Kristof tossed me a towel along with a look that said to fix the situation or he might fix me… Permanently. I nodded, wrapping it around my waist and moving closer, noting she turned her back so she didn’t see me naked. Ouch.
“I haven’t been sleeping and for a while,” I muttered. “I’m sorry. I thought I was fine and making sense that I wanted to hold my wife and beg for my place next to you again.”
She didn’t answer for several moments before unfolding the blanket and grabbing the basket from Kristof. “You’re grounded. You said we were having a romantic picnic before the crazy and I wanted that. Instead, you brought me into this. I don’t like the lying as clearly you guys can fib. You should have just told me. I haven’t been the one avoiding this. We should handle it before people arrive.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
She let out a frustrated noise. “You just want to be grounded again. What is with you and that?”
Kristof shrugged, giving me an angry look. “Yes, well, we still enjoy that together at least.” He gave the slightest nod when she flinched and my eyes went wide.
She hadn’t let him play the way he wanted in the weeks we’d been on
