“What?”
Elena arched an eyebrow. “I agreed with you. What do you mean what?”
Hannah narrowed her eyes at her. “You were going to say something, and you stopped yourself. What were you going to say, Elena?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. I’m just sad for you. And while I agree with you, it seems like there ought to be some way to fix this, but I can’t think of anything.”
Hannah sighed. “I know. I’ve been over it a thousand times. But if he’s not willing to even look for something else in the two months before the conflict is back in place, then I can’t be with him. Even he told me I should stand up for myself and what I want to do. So this is me doing that. Even though it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Elena pulled Hannah into another hug. “I know. I’m sorry. Let me know if you need my help meeting someone new, and I’m there.”
Hannah squeezed her back and let go. “Alright. Well, based on your picks earlier this semester, I don’t need you setting me up with anyone. But maybe some girls’ nights out would be good. In a couple weeks or so.”
“Deal.”
Matt went through the rest of the week in a daze. He called off sick on Wednesday, too hungover to function. He knew Janine would give him shit about it the next day, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Nothing mattered anymore. He was shattered, and the best he could hope for was numbness.
He didn’t drink as much on Wednesday night. Enough to dull the edge of pain caused by the hole in his chest, but not so much he wouldn’t be able to function the next day. He nodded through Janine’s lecture, making sure to keep his face impassive. Not that he had any trouble. He couldn’t give a shit about what she had to say to him or why she was mad. He knew it was because he’d called off sick twice that week, the first time to spend the day with Hannah. And she definitely didn’t approve of that relationship. But he didn’t bother to tell her they’d broken up. Partly because he still couldn’t believe it himself. And partly because telling her would penetrate the blanket of numbness he’d wrapped around himself to get through the day.
Friday was more of the same, going through the motions at work on autopilot, relying on routine to get things done. Janine dumped all her grunt work for the day on his desk, glaring at him as she did so. Her admin normally took care of this stuff, but she was busy checking in with all of the interns that had been Matt’s responsibility. Janine had too much to do to bother dealing with them herself, which was part of why she’d been so pissed at him when she’d found out about Hannah and had to take the interns away from him.
A bitter laugh escaped him when he realized how unnecessary it was. Hannah had broken up with him at the first chance. No matter what she’d said, she’d been looking for an excuse to break up with him all along, a reason to justify why they shouldn’t be together. She’d told him that she didn’t trust him when he saw her in January. He thought he’d won her over, gotten her to trust him again, but he’d obviously been wrong. She wouldn’t have been able to walk away from him so easily if that had been true.
“Matt?” Janine’s concerned voice penetrated his grim thoughts.
He raised his eyes to find her peering at him over the top of his cubicle. “Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
“Fine.”
She tilted her head to the side, her mouth pursed and her eyebrows scrunched together. “I don’t think so.” She shook her head slowly. “What’s going on? You’ve barely said three words today and yesterday combined. I’ve never seen you like this.”
He shrugged, knowing that only proved her point. “It’s personal, Janine. It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to work with me.” She crossed her arms on top of the cubicle wall, settling in for a long conversation. “If it’s affecting your work, then it does matter. And you’re not even filing things correctly. You’ve been here long enough that you know better, so either you can tell me here, or we can go in my office, and I’ll ask a million questions until I pull it out of you. Which would you prefer?” One manicured brown eyebrow arched up.
Fine. She wanted to know what was wrong? He’d tell her and wait for her to gloat. He sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes never leaving hers. “I told Hannah about our conversation on Tuesday.”
“I take it that it didn’t go well?”
“Ha.” It was supposed to be an ugly laugh, but he couldn’t even pull that off. It sounded like he just said a word. “Yeah. You could say that. She dumped me.”
Janine’s other eyebrow raised up to match the first, but she didn’t say anything. He waited for something. An, “I told you so,” or an apology or something, but she just continued to stare at him. He held her gaze, waiting her out. She shrugged one shoulder. “It’s probably for the best. If she’s going to break up with you that easily, she’s definitely not worth ruining your career over. Count yourself lucky it ended now before you got in too deep.”
He stared at her for a moment, blown away at her callous dismissal of their relationship. But instead of blowing up like he wanted to, he just grunted, making sure his mask of indifference stayed firmly in place.
Hannah was right. He couldn’t stay here. He didn’t like this place enough to give her up for a career that he hated.
Turning
