All of those reactions were completely opposite to the first time we’d dated. The man had dragged me to a family dinner at the earliest opportunity, eager to introduce me to his tía and little sister. “Is that why you don’t want anyone to know about me? It’ll upset her family, right?”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Does that bother you?”
I lifted one shoulder, not trusting myself to speak, lest every frustration tumble from my unguarded lips.
“Yeah, stupid question. How could it not bother you?” he muttered as he began to pace again, mussing his hair with his fingertips.
“Jake—”
“See? This situation is all sorts of fucked up. Now you’ll definitely dump me.” He glanced my way before he continued stalking back and forth between my couch and coffee table. “The crazy complicated wreck of a boyfriend, getting a lecture from … ahhh!” He stopped in the middle of the room, covering his face with his hands.
With two strides, I reached him. “Breathe. Just breathe.” I slid my hands up his chest, maneuvering so his arms dropped to his sides and I could cup his face between my palms. “This is weird, yes, but I’m all in, remember? Look at me.”
He opened his eyes slowly, staring without blinking. “How do I deal with her family? If you heard Stella, you know she’ll freak when she finds out. It’s only been eight months.”
“They have to know you’ll move on. If her family cares anything about you and your daughter, they’ll not only support it, but encourage it.”
“Eventually, maybe, but it’s too soon. How long before a parent stops grieving their daughter?”
I blinked hard, wrapping my arms around myself. “Are we rushing this? Do you even want to move forward?”
“I do, but the worst part is, Stella’s right. Being away this often isn’t great for Sari.”
Ah, right. Alysa’s family would have expectations. They were still buried in grief. Sarina would always be their grandchild. They’d want constant contact with her. They demanded a say in Jake’s life and in how their grandchild was raised. Jake was bowing to their demands.
“Oh, Mar.” He wrapped me in an embrace. “I have no excuse for being such a disaster.”
The soft kisses he was now giving me, the way his lips lingered on mine, weakened my resolve.
“What about us?”
“Please let me sort things with her family. It won’t be forever, but just for now.”
“It’s important that I meet your daughter, but I’ll try to be patient.” Clearly, Jake hadn’t reached a place where he trusted me enough to let me all the way in. Whether or not Sarina liked me was the make-or-break piece of our puzzle, but for better or worse, this was how it was; I had little choice but to follow his lead.
Late the next afternoon, I kissed Jake goodbye amidst promises he’d be back in a few days. Shortly after he left, I settled in my office and searched out some signing courses. Now that I knew about his daughter, it made perfect sense to learn a few words. Maybe that would convince him I could be trusted with his precious Baby Starfish and that I was ready to welcome her into my life.
I’d been immersed in practice for almost an hour when the text popped up:
Are you still alive out there? I still haven’t heard what happened with Jake!
How should I respond to Dara when Jake insisted on keeping our involvement on a need-to-know basis?
How about that fabulous honeymoon? Tell me all about Aruba.
My phone rang almost immediately.
“The trip was amazing,” Dara said the moment I answered. “Dean told me you promised to visit once we were back. How soon can you be here? We have a guest room.”
I laughed, struggling to control the quaver in my voice. “Well, let me look into that.” Halifax. That wasn’t remotely feasible given the Jake situation. He’d view that as me pushing to meet Sari before he was ready to let me in. “It’s so good to hear your voice.”
“Back at ya.” Her light laugh carried down the line. “Maybe Viv will join us for a spa weekend.”
“I'm down for that.” Darn. Why did I so easily fall into line?
“Perfect. Send me some possible dates.” Her long breath carried down the line. “Did you hear that Jake has a contract in Vancouver? You should hit him up. I’ll text you his number.”
I shifted on the couch, tapping a finger against pursed lips.
“It can’t hurt to talk to the man. He doesn’t bite.”
Ha. If she only knew. “I’m good,” I said.
“You’d be proud of him. Jake’s an amazing dad, and on top of that he had time to complete a grant proposal for an environmental study on water pollution. He’s involved in a project to protect Kejimkujik.”
What …? What was happening? Grant approval? Water pollution? Kejimkujik? “What about his contract in Vancouver?”
“That’s almost finished. This grant allows him to work full-time in Halifax and be home for Sari at night, and he’ll be doing important work. One of our own, fighting the good fight.”
I blinked hard and gnawed at my bottom lip.
“Isn’t that fantastic?” Dara light lilt brought me to the edge of tears.
I reached for the glass of ice water beside me and gulped down a mouthful, swallowing hard. “Yeah. Amazing.” Forcing a dramatic yawn, I said, “It must be bedtime for you.”
“Too much Jake talk, huh?” She chuckled as a text arrived on my phone. “I sent you his number. Call him. He’ll be stoked to hear from you.”
“Night, Dar. Love you.”
“Sleep well, Mar. Send me those dates.”
The woman was like a terrier, never letting go. It would be even more difficult to dodge her inquiries in person.
Even harder would be managing my own reactions and keeping myself in check during Jake’s
