Library e-Book : 978-1-5385-1801-4
Trade e-Book : 978-1-5385-1802-1
This digital document has been produced by Nord Compo.
CHARACTERS
ANNOUNCER
NARRATOR
ISAAC SALT – 30s. A DEDICATED CONSPIRACY NUT. HIGHLY STRUNG.
NED LORRIMER – 40s. SOUTHERN, LETHARGIC, VERY SLIGHTLY SLOW-WITTED FAILED POLITICIAN.
SAM LORRIMER – 40s. SOUTHERN, DYNAMIC, CHARISMATIC SUCCESSFUL POLITICIAN.
MOMMA LORRIMER – VERY OLD, SOUTHERN MATRIARCH.
ALEXA CHUN – 20s. CHINESE, BRASH BUT WARY.
BRUNO ANDRENYI – 20s, EASTERN EUROPEAN, HAS A VICIOUS NATURE WHEN ROUSED
SEYMOUR CICERO – 50s, HARD-HEADED SECURITY EXPERT, ALL BUSINESS.
NON-SPEAKING ROLES:
VICTIM 1 (FEMALE)
VICTIM 2 (MALE)
MUSIC:
FANGORIA THEME
ANNOUNCER:
You can run but you can’t hide. It’s far too late for that. Welcome to the dark side, where the night never ends – as Fangoria presents... Dreadtime Stories. With your host, Malcolm McDowell. Tonight’s Dreadtime Story: “Table Scraps” by Matthew J. Elliott.
SOUND:
THRU TO THE SHORELINE AT SEAGULL ISLAND. THE WATER LAPS, BIRDS CRY.
NARRATOR:
Four miles off the coast of Washington lies Seagull Island, retreat of the fabulously wealthy and fabulously private Lorrimer Family. The Lorrimers made their first fortune from bootlegging in the twenties, an even larger fortune in the sixties from oil, and the largest fortune of all through control of a vast media empire. With so much responsibility, it’s no surprise that they occasionally retreat to their island in order to appreciate the simple pleasures...
SOUND:
THRU TO THE DINING CHAMBER.
VICTIM 1:
(EXTREMELY CLOSE TO MIC, SHE WANTS TO CRY OUT, BUT SHE’S GAGGED, AND CAN ONLY EMIT A SERIES OF INCOHERENT NOISES)
SOUND:
A WINCH AND PULLEY MECHANISM IS ACTIVATED – A SLOW CLANKING, SPEEDING UP ONLY VERY GRADUALLY.
NARRATOR:
Pleasant as it sounds, I’m afraid it’s invitation only...
VICTIM 1:
(BREATHES LOUDLY AND RAPIDLY, TRYING TO PREPARE FOR THE INEVITABLE)
SOUND:
THE WINCHING REACHES A HIGH SPEED, THEN TWO HALVES OF A LARGE BUT FRAGILE METALLIC OBJECT SLAM TOGETHER. DOZENS OF SHARP BLADES PIERCE HER BODY AT THE SAME TIME)
VICTIM 1:
(A TINY WHIMPER BEFORE DEATH)
SOUND:
SEVERAL STREAMS OF LIQUID BEGIN TO DRIP.
NARRATOR:
And if you ever receive an invitation, you might want to think twice before accepting.
SOUND:
THROUGH TO A BROADCAST ON SALT’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL. HIS VOICE IS COMING THROUGH A SPEAKER.
SALT:
Hi, this is Hugo Salt – fight the power. Just a quick update to let you all know I’ll be appearing at the Landford Community Center on Friday the 24th at 7.30. I’ll be talking about the international banking conspiracy, how the World Heath Organization is keeping a cure for cancer from us, and if you want to know how the Government faked Osama Bin Laden’s death, get there early. I’m the one they’re really afraid of, so you need to listen to what I have to say. Don’t be sheeple, think for yourselves. Follow me on Twitter.
NARRATOR:
It’s said that everyone’s entitled to the wrong opinion, and in the age of the world wide web, it’s all too easy to form a judgement based upon statements that have no basis in fact – Chinese Whispers in cyberspace. Most people voice these opinions in their spare time; it’s up to the special few to spread the word. Meet Isaac Salt, lecturer, self-published author and the one man in the world privileged to know what he calls “the truth”...
SOUND:
THRU TO A SMALL LECTURE HALL. SALT STRIDES UP AND DOWN, TALKING TO A SMALL AUDIENCE, SOME OF WHOM COUGH OR ANSWER CELLPHONES. SALT IS USING A MICROPHONE, SO THERE’S A LITTLE REVERB AND FEEDBACK.
SALT:
...And these select few have ruled over us since the dawn of human civilization – ancient African tribes, the Aztecs, the Mayans... It’s incontestable that the pyramids could not have been built without the use of superior technology. Down through the ages, we see traces of this race of Aryan overlords – white skinned, fair-haired, apparently human but in reality an augmented species, bred and created by the possessors of that superior technology. I do mean aliens, yes, but not as Hollywood would have you understand them – we’ll get into that, time permitting.
SOUND:
SALT PRODUCES A PIECE OF PAPER.
SALT:
Now recently, I received this e-mail. The spelling is atrocious and the grammar is appalling – read my second book, where I explain how our public schools are deliberately failing our children in order to turn future generations into a slave race – but the writer raises one good point. He asks, how can it be that these Aryans managed to rule over these other races, without there being any archaeological evidence of the fact? Obviously, any such evidence supporting my claims has been suppressed, obliterated.
SOUND:
A FEMALE AUDIENCE MEMBER GIGGLES.
SALT:
Use your minds, people! Don’t be afraid to think for a change! We all know about archaeologists, right? We can trust them! But how many of you people here today have actually met an archaeologist? How many? Show of hands. (WITHOUT WAITING FOR A RESPONSE) Not one of you. It’s a false science, my friends; it’s being used to tell you what they want you to believe. The most famous archaeologist in the world? He doesn’t exist. His name is Indiana Jones, and he’s the product of the Hollywood machine, run by our alien masters to cloud our minds and confuse our senses. The films of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas are littered with Illuminati symbolism-
SOUND:
A MALE AUDIENCE MEMBER GUFFAWS.
SALT:
See my YouTube channel, people. Two million years of human existence, and for every minute of that time, we have been under the thumb of an elite race, made up of the most powerful families – the Rothschilds, the DeBeers, the Lorrimers, the Windsors, the Kennedys-
SOUND:
SOMEONE STEPS PURPOSEFULLY ONTO THE STAGE. SEVERAL MEMBERS OF THE AUDIENCE “OOH”, AS THOUGH TO SAY “BUSTED!”
SALT:
’Kay, ’kay, it looks as though I’ve gone a little past my time, and they want me to get off the stage so they can have their majorette auditions, but I will not be silenced! If you think baton-twirling is more important than throwing off the bonds of-
SOUND:
THERE’S A BRIEF SCUFFLE. SALT DROPS HIS MIC – A HOWL OF FEEDBACK. THE AUDIENCE LOVES IT – FINALLY, SOME EXCITEMENT! SALT IS DRAGGED
