“I don’t want you to feel like you’re only strong because of what you’re sharing with me,” Jos said. There was a real insistence in her tone. “Your life is yours and you never know what might happen. You have your own wings and I don’t think they’re really so fragile.”
Evelyn was quiet, unsure if Jos was trying to reassure her or hint that she could not rely on Jos, even if she wanted to. “I know that,” she said in the end.
Jos must have sensed her slight confusion, since she reached out for Evelyn, drew her close, and dispelled all the doubts with a long kiss. Evelyn melted into the kiss, into Jos, as she felt Jos’s hands slide over the curves of her body. In the end, the moment, this moment, was more important than any worry about the future.
*
As it turned nine o’clock, Jos walked Evelyn back to the Graingers’ house. She did not want to but there was really no way to avoid it any longer. She had to be at the theatre by late morning and Evelyn really needed to return to what was, for now, her home. For Evelyn’s sake, she was hoping Lilian hadn’t missed her.
Walking around Berkeley Square, they passed a well-dressed young couple strolling hand in hand. Jos looked at them with some sadness. She wanted nothing more than to reach out for Evelyn’s hand, walk with her as her lover should. Yes, walking arm in arm was acceptable and passable, but linking hands in a way that suggested romance was a little too much of a risk. She did not care for herself, of course. Her reputation was well-known. But she did not want to prompt any kind of speculation about Evelyn. She suspected Evelyn herself had not even begun to contemplate the consequences of her desire for her own sex. It would be a hard lesson and Jos almost regretted waking that urge in Evelyn. But it was impossible to really regret helping her be true to herself, whatever the cost. In Jos’s book, honesty with yourself was more important than nearly anything else.
As they approached Hays Mews and Lilian and James’s house, Jos came to a stop.
“It’s just down here,” Evelyn said, clearly not understanding why they’d stopped.
“I know where they live,” Jos said. “Not that I make a habit of visiting Lilian and James but I have had cause to call on them on one or two occasions. I’ve stopped because I can’t walk you to the door.”
“Why ever not?” Evelyn asked, looking bewildered.
“I don’t know if they’ll have missed you or not, but it’s not going to be very helpful to you if I walk you to the door. Since they know you were with me yesterday.” Jos knew Evelyn would not easily understand her.
“But I have been with you. If they ask where I’ve been, I was going to tell them.” Even as she said it, Evelyn’s voice betrayed that she’d not really considered what she was going to say to Lilian until now.
Jos watched realisation dawn.
“I suppose I can’t just do that though, can I?”
“You could. But I would prefer that you didn’t, for my own sake.” Jos did not want to find herself suddenly labelled as the corrupter of the innocent, not at this early stage. Nor did she feel like inciting Lilian’s wrath and judgement while Lilian was still entangled with Vernon. “I wouldn’t ask you to keep it a secret just for me though. It’s for your own sake too. I know you’re not used to this, Evie, but you do have to be careful who you tell about things like this. Lilian won’t understand, and do you think James is any more likely to?”
Evelyn suddenly looked quite scared and Jos felt a deep concern for her, almost a regret that she’d brought such complexities into Evelyn’s life.
“You’re right,” Evelyn said. “I can’t tell them. Lilian would hate me. And I think James would probably tell me to leave his house.”
“I’m sorry, Evie,” Jos said, angry that any duplicity was needed.
“It’s not your fault.” Evelyn took Jos’s arm. “And if you’re worried, I don’t regret what we’ve done just because I can’t be honest with Lilian and James.”
Jos breathed a sigh of relief that Evelyn had volunteered those words, without Jos having to ask. “Thank you, Evie. I’d hate for you to regret it. But what will you say if they’ve noticed you didn’t come home last night?”
Evelyn thought for a moment. “Well, surely I can say that we took tea with some friends of yours and then I felt a little unwell, so they allowed me to stay for the night instead of having to travel home.”
Jos considered this. It was an unlikely story and one Lilian would most likely not believe. However, she did not think that Lilian would suspect the truth either, so it was a good enough excuse. Perhaps it would do Evelyn good in Lilian’s eyes to have a little mystery about her. “I think that will be good enough,” she said. “If she asks which friends, tell her Sarah and Suzanne Flint. She knows of them, though they’ve only met very briefly. But because they’re sisters, it won’t seem like I’ve been taking you to gatherings where you might be corrupted. She wouldn’t approve if you said it was Clara and Courtney.”
“Very well,” Evelyn said. “It seems silly to have to do this so we don’t annoy Lilian though.”
Jos understood that sentiment all too well. “It’s not really about whether Lilian’s annoyed. It’s more about what she thinks of you—and me—especially since you’re living
