“I do understand,” Evelyn said, looking worried as she watched Jos’s expression. “Please don’t think I mind. If it means we can be this way with each other, I’d lie to anyone I had to.”
Jos smiled a bitter smile. “I know, Evie. I just wish you didn’t have to. Now, you better get inside.”
“When will we see each other again?” Evelyn asked.
“I don’t know. What are you doing at Christmas?” She watched the shadow pass over Evelyn’s face and knew the mention of Christmas had brought on a thought of home. She did not want Evelyn to be alone at Christmas, she realised.
“Well, Lilian and James are going to their family, out in the country somewhere. She invited me but I said I would feel a little strange intruding on it, and actually I’d rather be on my own, to write to my family.”
Jos could hear a heartbreaking sadness in Evelyn’s words and knew that, however brave Evelyn seemed, however well adapted to this life in London, thoughts of home and what she had left behind were still heavy on her shoulders. “Oh, well, if that’s what you want to do—”
“It’s not really,” Evelyn interjected. “I mean, it is, I do want to write to my brother and my parents. But I don’t want to be on my own all day. I just told Lilian that because I didn’t want to have to go with them. I’d have hated it, I think.” She looked expectantly at Jos, clearly awaiting an invitation but not liking to presume.
“In that case, would you like to come to my flat? I can’t promise anything spectacular, but some friends will be coming around—no one you need to worry about—and possibly Vernon too.”
“Vernon?” Evelyn looked dubious.
“He’s all right, you know, Evie.” Jos totally understood why Evelyn might have her doubts about her brother. “I know he’s involved with Lilian but he doesn’t really tell her anything, not if I know my brother. And he’s a more honourable man than you’d expect.”
“Of course,” Evelyn said.
“And if he’s been flirting with you, he’ll soon stop when he sees you’re with me,” Jos concluded, knowingly.
Evelyn smiled an acknowledgement. “In that case, yes, I would love to spend some of Christmas with you.”
Jos tried to stop a stupid grin spreading over her face. “I’ll look forward to it very much,” she said. “If you can find your way, come at whatever time you are ready.” Then she leaned in and kissed Evelyn lightly on the cheek. “Perhaps you’ll spend Christmas night with me too,” she said softly.
Evelyn looked back at her with desire in her eyes. “Yes,” she breathed.
“Until then, Evie.” Jos took a step back, reluctantly. Evelyn nodded. Jos forced herself to turn and walk away, for once her mind more full of things to come than fears of what might happen.
*
When Evelyn let herself into the Graingers’ house, she found that both Lilian and James had already left. A hastily scrawled note on the table in the hallyway read: Evie, I’ve gone to my dressmaker again. Last minute alterations. There’s breakfast left if you want it. Didn’t want to wake you. Lilian.
There was little in the note to suggest whether Lilian had any questions about how Evelyn had spent the previous evening, but certainly her last words implied that the Graingers had not realised she had never returned home. That was a blessing at least, Evelyn thought. Though she understood the need, she had no desire to tell outright lies to Lilian and James.
She was glad to find she had the house to herself. She went into the sitting room and sat in the comfortable armchair, leaning her head back and gazing at the ceiling.
Her mind was so full of new memories, new ideas, of thoughts of the future, of lingering sensations and fears she’d never dreamed she would feel, that it was difficult to pick one thought from the maelstrom in her head. A memory would come of Jos’s mouth on her body, of those intense pleasures she’d never imagined, and then it would be superceded by the gentle peace of waking with her body pressed close to Jos’s. Tension would rise when she thought of having to lie, or when she remembered the warning she’d received about Jos, but then a happy anticipation would come when she imagined what Christmas with Jos would be like.
Her overwhelming feeling was one of excitement, of having overcome an obstacle she did not even know existed, perhaps even relief. One night with Jos seemed to have opened up a whole side of herself she had not previously understood. It was as though the part of her that was always dissatisfied, always searching for something more, finally had its answer. And that answer was Jos.
It barely occurred to her to find it strange that she should be experiencing these feelings, this fulfilment, from becoming romantically, sensually involved with a woman. Although back in West Coombe, it would have been a strange and remarkable, perhaps even indecent, set of circumstances, here in London it did not seem any more extraordinary than the elaborate outfits, the stark haircuts, the frantic dancing, and the intoxicating jazz. In this world, was anything really extraordinary? She could
