“Yes. You’re still so awfully innocent, aren’t you, darling?” Lilian’s words sounded patronising now.
Evelyn decided it was best not to rise to her tone. “I am, really,” she agreed.
“So it’s probably best for me to remind you not to tell anyone about this too.” Lilian narrowed her eyes and waited for Evelyn’s response.
Evelyn wanted to ask why, if Lilian was so relaxed about taking cocaine, it mattered that it was kept a secret. Lilian’s demand had given her away. Evelyn wondered if Vernon knew about her habit. She was more than certain that James did not. It was probably James, and therefore her parents and source of wealth, that Lilian was most concerned about. Evelyn chose not to ask any questions. “Of course, I won’t say a word.”
“Good, good.” Lilian nodded. “Now, don’t you have to get ready for dinner?”
Evelyn took the hint and went back down the stairs, leaving Lilian alone. She was not sure what to think of that encounter. True, she was inexperienced in the ways of the world, but Lilian’s secrecy and barely concealed anger at having been discovered told her something was very wrong. How insecure in her happiness was Lilian, really? How easy would it be to push her over the edge?
As she returned to her room, Evelyn resolved to be careful of Lilian, though she very much wished that was not the case. She was pondering this when she heard feet on the stairs. Before she could dart into her bedroom door, there was James, the last person she wanted to have a conversation with in that moment.
“Good evening,” he said. His tone was cheery and Evelyn felt a little guilty for the tension she experienced whenever she saw him. He was harmless enough and well intentioned. She just wished he did not seem so interested in her.
“Good evening, James. Good day at work?” She attempted a carefree smile. He did not seem to have noticed that she felt anything different.
“Yes, actually. We signed a new contract for the new Tube stations they’re planning near Euston.”
“That sounds exciting.” Evelyn said.
“It is, very. I think the firm will let me lead on the design too.”
“Well done. They must think very highly of you.” Evelyn was in no doubt they did. She did not have to know James very well to glean that he would be a conscientious and reliable worker, and she knew he was more creative than he seemed on first appearances. James was essentially a good person, but it was a little as though he belonged twenty years earlier, before the war had changed everything, in a time when everything was still in its correct place.
“I like to think so,” he said. “I think they respect my abilities.”
“You’re too modest, I’m sure,” Evelyn said, her smile genuine this time. Perhaps she was overreacting regarding James. If Lilian was not her ally any longer, maybe James could be. “They are certainly trusting you with important projects.”
“Yes, that’s true.” James seemed delighted by Evelyn’s interest and encouragement. “Listen, Evie, I’ve been meaning to say sorry we’ve not gone to the pictures yet. I have every intention but time seems to have rather slipped on by, and now it’s nearly Christmas.”
“Please don’t worry about it,” Evelyn said. She was actually rather relieved that the outing had not materialised and was now dismayed that he had remembered. “I’ve been busy too.”
“It’s not really cricket though, Evie, to ask you and then not follow through. Now, you know we are away for Christmas, but perhaps immediately afterwards? Between Christmas and New Year, or just after?”
“Yes, of course,” Evelyn replied without much enthusiasm. “Whenever you have the time.”
“I will make time.” He fixed her with that intense gaze again and all of her misgivings returned. There really were no two ways about it—James expected this to go somewhere. He was not just being friendly. In that moment she wished that Jos had not sworn her to secrecy. How she would have loved to tell James and watch his expression as he learned that she was not interested because she’d fallen for another woman, one he so disapproved of. Thinking of Jos, she would have rejected James in that moment, but for her new doubt in her friendship with Lilian. She did not want to find herself thrown onto the street by the Graingers. So she smiled back at James, trying to flatter without encouraging him.
“I’ll look forward to it,” she said.
“As will I,” James replied. “Will you be joining us for dinner this evening? We missed you yesterday.”
Evelyn knew he spoke for himself, not Lilian, who had been out the previous evening. “I will be joining you,” she said, “but I’m sure my company is not that enjoyable.”
“Then you’re mistaken,” James replied. Then, to her relief, he turned to go to his own room. “See you at dinner.”
Evelyn smiled and retreated into her room. She leaned against the back of the closed door and stared across the room at the window. Suddenly everything had changed; her night with Jos, her discovery of Lilian’s habit and the new tension between them, made everything different somehow. She no longer felt sure of her place in this new world. But part of that was Jos. And whatever else happened, she had Jos.
Chapter Seventeen
The days until Christmas passed with excrutiating slowness. Christmas was when she would see Jos again and it was all she wanted to think about. She spent her days doing her best to avoid Lilian and James. Just seeing them at mealtimes was quite enough. Lilian had almost returned to her usual self; she was lending Evelyn accessories and recommending outfits, she was suggesting sightseeing tours and talking to Evelyn in her usual breezy fashion. Except Evelyn still felt a tension between them, as if Lilian was paying more attention than usual to her, waiting to be challenged or watching for
