I know you can’t write back to me, Eddie. I wish you could but please don’t worry that you can’t. It is enough that I know you think of me.
Have a very happy Christmas, Eddie. And know that I am happy too, because of you.
With the fondest love,
Your sister,
Evie
When she finished, Evelyn had tears in her eyes. She could not say whether they were tears of sadness, at separation from her family and the idea of a Christmas without them, or of joy and pride that she was finally living up to the dream she and Edward had shared.
Wiping the tears away, Evelyn hurriedly folded the letters into envelopes and set out into the chill outside for the post office. The letters would arrive on the day before Christmas, so at least her family would think of her on that day.
Chapter Eighteen
Evelyn awoke early on Christmas morning, more excited than she had been since she was a child anticipating gifts from Father Christmas. Lying in bed, feeling the warmth of the blankets and the chill of the room, she pondered briefly how maturity changes a person. As a child, simply knowing there might be a tangerine, some nuts, possibly a tablet of chocolate, and a new toy waiting for her was enough to cause an almost convlusive excitement. Now, a grown woman, it was the thrill of seeing the woman who caused shivers of pleasure to run through her body and nothing to do with Christmas at all. This would be a very different Christmas to any she had known before.
Climbing out from beneath the covers, Evelyn remembered, with a sense of relief, that she was alone in the Graingers’ house. They had left for their family’s country house the previous evening. Grace had been given both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off work. For the first time in a long time, Evelyn was free to go through her morning routine and go down to breakfast without fear of an awkward encounter with James or Lilian. She considered this as she went to the bathroom to wash and tidy her hair. Living with the Graingers was becoming difficult. Even if no awkwardness had arisen between herself and Lilian, even if she did not have to contend with James’s attentions, she was beginning to feel as though she had overstayed her welcome. There was only so long she could rely on their hospitality. What alternatives there were, she was not sure. She resolved to ask Jos’s opinion as soon as there was the right opportunity to do so. Jos might have ideas about what work she could find, what sort of home she might be able to afford to rent. Knowing that she had Jos—and her friends—to ask such questions of made London seem much less daunting than it initially had. Ultimately, London was just a collection of smaller towns grown into each other. People worked and rented and formed communities. She could be part of that.
Having dressed and made herself tea and toast for breakfast, Evelyn sat for a while in the sitting room, leafing through the latest newspaper. She did not want to arrive at Jos’s flat too early or appear too eager, even though she could not wait to see Jos. She thought again of the small gifts she had managed to purchase: enamelled cufflinks, with a modern sunburst pattern in black and white which she thought Jos would approve of, a fine cigar for Vernon, and a large tin of biscuits for any other guests to share. It had been enjoyable, shopping in London, even though it had seriously diminished the small amount of money Edward had given her. She was particularly pleased with the cufflinks, which she had told the assistant in the gentleman’s shop were for her fiancée. She’d left the shop smiling at referring to Jos in such a way. No matter that the assistant had assumed she referred to a man. Jos was more of a fiancé to her than Michael had ever been, no matter her sex. Little did the young man in the shop know. She smiled again now, remembering. In some ways, the secret she shared with Jos was exciting simply because it was a secret, shared only between them and those who were close to Jos. To be part of that was rather thrilling.
*
Shortly before midday, Evelyn arrived at Jos’s front door and rang the bell. Moments later, Jos opened the door herself. Evelyn had found herself rather nervous at the thought of seeing Jos again. Any anxiety vanished as soon as she saw Jos’s smile.
“Evie!” Jos’s greeting was full of pleasure. “It’s so good to see you.” Jos took her hand and pulled her into the hallway. “I’ve missed you.” These words were softer, spoken with more emotion.
“I’ve missed you too.” Happiness flooded through Evelyn’s body at being with Jos again. It was at once a new and exciting feeling and one that felt entirely natural, as though being next to Jos was something she had needed her whole life.
Jos pulled her closer. “I should have come to see you sooner. I wanted to after I got your note, but I wasn’t sure what Lilian would think if I turned up at your door.”
“I understand,” Evelyn replied, still holding firmly on to Jos’s hand. “I only left the note so you knew I was thinking about you.”
“I know,” Jos replied. “I’ve been thinking about you too, all the time.”
Evelyn flushed with pleasure. Vernon had not been exaggerating then, when he had said Jos was happy. “Thank you,” she said, unsure how else to respond.
“No, Evie, thank you,” Jos replied, her voice full of unexpected emotion. She leaned towards Evelyn, seeking her mouth in a kiss that
