I see movement when I approach the wall for a turn, and my serenity shatters as Carlos marches toward me. He found me too soon. I could have used a few more laps. Days. Weeks. Months.
Shit. Here we go.
He towers over me from the edge of my lane, and I draw in a lungful of humid air as I grip the wall of the pool.
“I know, okay?” I call up to him, pulling off my goggles for a better view.
He shrugs. “You know what? You’re an idiot? Good. Twenty more minutes here and meet me in the weight room. You get your pre-workout shake down yet?”
I squint up at him, certain I must be missing something. That’s it? “No, just got back.”
And now, he looks unhappy. “Okay, then never mind. Get your ass out of the pool and go take care of business. Then meet me in the weight room.”
“Okay, but—”
“You gonna argue with me, Levesque?” But his lips twitch like he’s holding back a smile.
“No, sir.”
“Good. See you soon.”
Other than a few jabs and snickers in the weight room, no one goes after me there either. In fact, my sentence seems suspiciously light throughout the day. I sweat through conditioning, exercises, and even a team meeting with almost no mention of my new status as a celebrity monster. I keep waiting for a call from the front office that never comes, bracing for a reaming that never bears down. In fact, I’m packing up for the day when Coach finally pulls me into his office for a chat before they leave for Seattle.
“They tell me the knee is looking good,” Coach Brooks says as he waves me into a chair.
“Yes, sir. It feels good.”
“Carlos says you’re following the protocol, giving a hundred and ten percent.”
I nod, swallowing my nerves as he studies me. “I’d go harder if he let me.”
Coach grunts through a dry laugh. “I don’t doubt it. You’ve always been a hard worker. A leader. You’re a good kid, Levesque.”
I clear my throat and meet his gaze. “Thank you, sir.”
His eyes narrow, his fingers intertwining into a knot on his desk. “‘Violent and manipulative’ they called you.”
I swallow and look away. “Yeah, it’s—”
“You holding out on me, kid? How come I never see that on the ice? We could use some violence and manipulation in net.”
My gaze snaps to his, my lips lifting at the amusement in his expression. He sighs and leans back, studying me again. “You’ve had a rough few months. Your knee. Now all this media bullshit. How you holding up?”
Good question. Am I holding up? Sometimes it feels like I’ll make it. Sometimes it feels like I’m sinking to the bottom, that I’ll be nothing but a footnote in future hockey commentary.
“It’s been hard,” I say finally. I can’t take his penetrating stare and look away. “I’ve faced adversity before, plenty of tragedy, but this feels… different. Like I’m giving everything I have to fight a battle I might not win. It feels so big, so outside of my control. But I’m still pushing through, Coach. I want to get back on the ice more than anything. I want this more than anything. So until you tell me to stop, I’ll keep going at a hundred and ten percent. A hundred twenty-five when Carlos lets me.”
He’s still staring when I meet his gaze again, a pensive look on his face. “I’m never going to tell you to stop and neither will any of the guys in this organization.” He sighs, probably reading my fear. “You should know that Sandy stopped in earlier, along with that girlfriend of yours. Explained the whole damn thing and said it was bullshit. Carlos confirmed you’re on track and we don’t need to worry on that front. Not that they had to tell us that. Anyone who’s met you would know the truth, but my point is, your people—your team—is solid and has your back.” He leans forward, leveling a look at me. “I know you probably feel like you’re insignificant right now. That you’re alone and the world has moved on without you. This place is a tomb when you’re on the list, but you’re still our man, Levesque. Got it? So keep going. Keep fighting because we need you as much as you need us. Stay all in, because we’re all in on you.”
I pull in a heavy breath, clinging to his words like a lifeline. He has no idea how much I needed to hear that. Or maybe he does, thanks to Sandy and the testimony of my team. Strangely, my five-on-none suddenly feels like a power play instead. “Thanks, Coach. That means a lot. I promise to keep giving it everything I have.”
He offers an emphatic nod before waving me toward the door. “Oh, and Oliver.”
I turn back to meet his gaze.
“Do me a favor and stay out of the headlines for one damn minute, though, okay?”
CHAPTER 18
Rock the boat ‘til it floats where it needs to go
Through wind and snow
Starred heights, depths below
Stand tall through the storm
And believe your sea
Is not your death
But your destiny
GENEVIEVE
Oliver pulls into the lot of the Turner Artist Management building, and my chest immediately lifts with relief. Does he even know how incredible he is? That his strength isn’t in his body, but his spirit? It’s like he holds up those around him just by being near them. I think back to that first day in the conference room at the practice center. His smile, his light spread through us all, but did irreparable damage to the darkness that ruled my world. And I’m sure I’m not the
