In mind-reading what the other person is thinking, the PWS creates a story which inevitably leads to an unhappy ending: their status is lowered in the eyes of the other person, they think they are inadequate, to be pitied, and so on. This story dominates their thinking. The story then feeds back on itself – no facts or evidence from the outside are required! – and the fears and anxieties multiply to the extent that the only object of attention is the fear itself. That then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: the muscles oblige, the blocking occurs, the person stutters. If however the PWS focuses on an external outcome, such as getting the other person to do something, their muscles will adjust to help them achieve that.
The reason I ask clients to practice going in and out of the states of fluency and blocking is to teach the PWS behavioral flexibility. They are already familiar with each state; what they need is the facility for changing their states. No one lives their entire life blocking. Therefore they need to identify the strategy they already use to do this, streamline it, and practice it so that they can get out of the blocking state into another state whenever they want. It is simple, yet profound. Therefore, you need to help them find out exactly how they do this. Ask, “How do you do that?” “How does your focus change?” “How do you talk to yourself differently?” “How do you give yourself permission to be fluent?” Take note of the answers as they will provide you with information you can use in assisting them to alter their states at will. The more they practice moving from one state to another, the better they will be at reducing the power of the old blocking strategy. They are training their mind to choose which state they want to be in. Focus of attention
Effective communication requires that you pay attention to the other party. Therefore, instead of watching themselves or engaging in mind-reading, they need to concentrate on what they want to achieve.
Exercise 3.2: Where is the focus?
This exercise assists the PWS to become aware of the difference between where they focus when blocking and stuttering, and where they focus when fluent.
It also provides practice in switching the focus of attention from internal to external, from judging their performance to focusing on their outcomes. In my experience this takes time and plenty of practice. Once you know the PWS can switch states successfully, ask them to notice what they bring into the foreground in each state. Access a recent state of blocking
While you are thinking about that state, notice what you are paying attention to. What is in primary focus while you block?
What is your intention or purpose in this context?
Given what you are focusing on, can you identify what actually triggers the fear of blocking? Access a recent state of fluency
While you are thinking about that state of fluency, notice what you are paying attention to. Where or on what are you focusing?
What is your intention or objective in this context? Developing a Well-formed Outcome for fluency
When the PWS chooses to move from blocking/stuttering to freedom/fluency, they must clearly know what they want and have the commitment to achieve it. This often requires a tremendous shift in the meanings they give to their speaking. In your clinician role, I encourage you to maintain your outcome focus by holding in your mind the agreed upon outcome that your PWS clients assert.
The NLP Well-Formed Outcome process is an extremely effective and practical tool for bringing a specified outcome into the foreground of attention. A well-formed outcome is one that the PWS devises and which is framed in a way that makes it more likely to be achieved.
Exercise 3.3: Outcome setting
The PWS’s internal and external dialogs provide clues on what needs to change. There are examples of the way PWS talk to themselves and to others throughout this book. People who are stuck tend to focus more on defining the problem rather than on finding solutions. This outcome-setting exercise gets the PWS thinking differently: what they want instead rather than what they want to get rid of; what they do want, rather than what they don’t want. It also enables you to assist the PWS in identifying how they will get it. At each step the PWS thinks about the ecology of each proposal, to check that the outcome is right or appropriate for them. Overview
State the outcome in positive terms.
State the outcome in sensory terms.
State your outcome in a way that is compelling.
Quality control your outcome.
Take personal control.
State the context of your outcome.
State the resources you need for your outcome.
Future pace – check that it works.
Although the PWS can use this model on their own, I recommend that you first ask them the questions so that they can focus on finding the answers.
1. State the outcome in positive terms.
Describe the present situation and compare it with the desired future outcome.
What do you want? What do you want to do differently?
Where are you now?
Where do you want to be?
What are you going toward?
Make sure that the PWS is able to state what they want to be able to do in positive language. For example, if they say they want to “stop stuttering” have them turn this around so that they are focusing on “becoming fluent”.
In Case Study 1 in Chapter One, Susan stated a number of beliefs about herself which suggested a rather negative outlook. Figure 3.1 shows some positive reframes of those negative beliefs.
I am not … Positive reframe: broken … I am whole. inadequate … I am sufficient. shy … I am able to deal with people on my own terms. anxious … I feel the adrenalin rush that will allow me to … foolish … I learn from my mistakes. worthless …
