“Not really. We were in his dad’s hospital room. It was just so hard to see him. I mean, we used to know each other so well and now we’re practically strangers.”
“Yeah, well, a lot has happened.” She pursed her lips and I saw the judgment there. “It’s been a long time.”
“I know. It’s just...” I shook my head again. What had I expected? That he’d pull me into his arms and beg for my forgiveness? That he’d tell me how much he missed me? “He looks great. He looks like Jude again.” I didn’t know if that made sense but to Christy it would. She’d witnessed the drastic changes in Jude’s personality too.
“Just be careful,” she cautioned. “Remember what he did to you.”
“What about what I did to him?”
She waved that away with her hand like it was a pesky mosquito. “He was gone.”
That was no excuse but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. I needed to put it out of my head and focus on these wedding flowers. I checked the sheet again and this time the words made sense. Fourteen centerpieces. Vintage milk glass vases to be delivered by the mother of the bride. One bridal bouquet. Five bridesmaids and groomsmen. One floral arch for the ceremony.
I took another deep breath and let it out. Everything was going to be fine. Just fine. “I need to get to work.”
“Okay,” she said slowly, never taking her eyes off my face. “I have to deliver and set up for that silver anniversary party. After that, I have a consultation at Sadler’s Creek. Will you be okay until I get back?”
“Go. I’m fine.” She gave me a skeptical look. “Really. Now that the initial shock has worn off, I’m good.” I flashed her a smile just to prove it. She didn’t look convinced but there were flowers to be delivered and a business to run. That had to take precedence over my fucked-up love life. Or lack thereof, as the case might be.
We loaded the refrigerated delivery truck then I waved her off and gathered the blooms I’d need, carrying the buckets of flowers and foliage to one of the two zinc-topped islands where we made our arrangements.
I got to work, prepping the stems, removing the thorns and the leaves at the bottom. For the next few hours, I got lost in a sea of peonies, ranunculus, and garden roses. The velvety frosted sage green leaves of the dusty miller and the silver dollar eucalyptus complemented the blush pink, coral, and cream petals. While I worked, I checked out my creations from all angles in the full-length mirror across from me.
Like all weddings, this one would be beautiful.
When I finished the centerpieces and bouquets, I moved them from the workspace to the walk-in where they’d stay hydrated and fresh until tomorrow morning when I delivered them.
“Are you happy, Lila?”
At the sound of his voice, I spun around, my hand over my heart. “Oh God, you scared me.”
How long had he been there watching me?
He was standing in the doorway in a white T-shirt and faded denim, looking like my every fantasy. Handsome didn’t even begin to describe Jude McCallister. As a teen and in his early twenties, he’d been a hot guy. But now, he was all man. Rugged and masculine and just so beautiful, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. After Jude left, I’d imagined this moment so many times. How would it feel if he ever came back? Until one day I told myself to get used to the idea that he was never coming back.
“Are you happy?” he repeated, prowling toward me like a hunter stalking its prey. Graceful, powerful, unhurried. Yet his long legs ate up the distance between us in no time at all. Now he was standing right in front of me and I wasn’t ready to be this close to him.
Are you happy? Under the circumstances, it was a strange question.
“That’s what you want to know? If I say yes, will it ease your conscience?” I moved away from him and wiped down the workspace to keep my hands busy and my focus on anything but him. It was hard to do though. Whenever he was in my vicinity, he was all I could see.
“How’s your conscience?” he asked, the accusation in his voice loud and clear. “Troubling you?”
Guess we were doing this, after all. Never one to back down, I lifted my chin and met his eyes. They narrowed on me. The anger swirling in the blue depths fueled my own. “You did the one thing you promised me you never would. You left me.”
The muscle in his jaw ticked. Tiny. Imperceptible. But I saw it. “So you thought you’d get back at me by fucking my cousin?”
He said that as if it was an act of revenge. “You weren’t here. You didn’t want me anymore. You tossed me aside like I meant nothing to you.”
He stared at me, unblinking, like he couldn’t believe what I’d just said. His jaw clenched and I could tell he was working hard to keep his emotions reined in. “That’s not fair and you damn well know it.”
I knew it wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t what I’d planned on saying but the way he’d left me wasn’t fair either. “Life isn’t fair, Jude.”
“I thought I knew you. I thought I knew your hard limits. And I thought that fucking my cousin was one of them. Brody’s slept with every skank in a skirt. Did he give you an STD to go with that baby he put inside you?”
Every skank in a skirt. Well, thanks for that, Jude. “You know nothing about what happened between me and Brody.”
“I know enough. He got you knocked up. And why do you think that is, Lila? How is it
