“The fences are there to protect them and keep them safe.”
“Yeah, well, they don’t know that. They see a fence and they want to know what’s on the other side. Just like we did when we were kids.”
It was true. We’d always gone where we were told not to. Had always pushed the boundaries. “Why are you here?” I smoothed my hand over the crocheted yellow throw blanket hanging on the back of the sofa. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
His eyes narrowed on me. “I need to call ahead now to see my own son?”
“No. Of course not. I was just surprised to see you here.” He was still standing, his posture rigid, arms crossed. This didn’t feel like a social call. “What was all that at dinner?”
“What was all what?” he asked, deliberately not understanding me.
“You know what I’m talking about. Why did you put your arm around me? Were you trying to rub it in Jude’s face?”
He threw his hands in the air. “Here we go again. It’s all about Jude.”
“It’s not all about Jude but that was...” I shook my head, my gaze landing on the rustic wood coffee table in front of the sofa. Jude made it from hundred-year-old oak. “You two were like brothers and now you act like you hate him.”
“Do I need to remind you of what he did? You expect me to just forgive and forget? No. Not happening. And let me tell you something.” He pointed a finger at me in accusation. “If you decide to go down this road again, so help me God, you had better not drag Noah into your shit show.”
“My shit show? Wow. Thanks for having so much faith in my parenting skills. Noah is my number one priority and I don’t need you reminding me of anything.”
“So you remember the abuse? The way he was drunk from morning till night. You remember the drugs? You remember all that? Because today all I saw was the Lila who still believed that Jude hung the stars and the moon.”
“Abuse?” I questioned, taking exception to the one thing I could object to. “Are you kidding me right now? Jude did not abuse me. None of that was his fault. He had PTSD. He had a TBI. You know that. Jude would never hurt me.”
No man could ever love me the way Jude had. We’d loved hard. We’d loved fiercely. But no man could ever hurt me the way he had either.
“And yet… he did. He put you through hell. I don’t want to see you go through that again.”
I knew Brody’s heart was in the right place and this was his way of looking out for me but I still felt the need to defend Jude. “You saw him.” I wrapped my arms around a throw pillow with a sunflower pattern. “He’s doing so much better.”
My words didn’t sway Brody’s opinion. He was a grudge holder. Jude had not only hurt me by leaving, he had hurt Brody too. He’d abandoned us without a backward glance. “He didn’t come back here for you, Lila. And he sure as hell wasn’t there for you when you needed him. Just keep that in mind before you go running back to him.”
“I’m not running back to him.” I wasn’t. It was too late for us. We were irreparably broken. And as Brody had so helpfully pointed out, Jude hadn’t come back here for me. He came to visit his dad, and he came to help out with the family business.
“Guess we’ll see about that. Jude is used to getting whatever he wants.”
That wasn’t true and I couldn’t understand how Brody could say that.
Spending time with Jude today brought back so many memories, churned up so many emotions. He’d been so good with Noah and for a while I’d forgotten so many things. Now Brody was here to remind me.
“Is that why you stopped by? To warn me not to fall for Jude again?”
He shook his head. “I came to tell you I’m leaving.”
My heart skipped a beat. I tossed the throw pillow aside and stood up. “What do you mean? Leaving?”
“I’ll be back, L. I always come back. I’m just going on the road for a few weeks. Leaving Friday.”
“The rodeo?”
He nodded.
“I thought you were quitting.”
“I need the money. Been thinking about it for a while. Now that I know Patrick’s going to be okay, I can go.” He grabbed the back of his neck, not looking at me. “I’d like to have Noah for a few nights this week. I can pick him up from school tomorrow and drop him off on Thursday evening.”
I hesitated before answering. I don’t know why I hesitated but Brody didn’t usually spring this kind of thing on me. The whole rodeo thing seemed to have come from out of the blue. But then again, I knew he’d never really wanted to give it up. He’d given it up for Noah, and for me, I guess and now he was itching to get back to it.
“He’s my son too, Lila. I should get to spend time with him,” he said, mistaking my silence for refusal. “I have a room for him at my house. You know that.”
“I know that, Brody. I’ve never tried to stop you from spending time with Noah. Of course he can stay with you.”
“Good. That’s settled then.” He turned to go and I followed him to the door.
“You’re not leaving because of Jude, right?”
He released the door handle and turned to look at me. “Believe it or not, my life doesn’t revolve around Jude. You need me to stay? I will. Just say the word.” His gaze held mine. I shook my head. I’d never asked him to stay. It had always been his choice.
“I don’t need you
