Dan popped the cork and filled two champagne glasses before handing one to her. He raised his own. “To more Alice Hunter art in Kurnai Bay.”
“Aw, thank you.” She clinked her glass against his, took a sip and then didn’t quite know where to put herself. Usually they cooked, ate and had sex. This was new territory.
She followed Dan into the living room, kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet underneath her.
He sat next to her. “How’s the house hunting going?”
“It’s not. It’s what my family says is typical Alice. My momentous decision to move out has coincided with the looming tourist season. Rents are back to being sky high. I’ll have to wait until February.”
“You can always move in here.”
“That’s kind, but with summer coming, I don’t want to cramp your style.”
“About that.” He set down his glass and faced her. “You wouldn’t be cramping my style at all. It turns out, Alice Hunter, you’re very much my style.”
Champagne bubbles fizzed up her nose and she coughed. Dan laughed, patting her on the back. Finally, she caught her breath. “What do you mean, I’m your style?”
“Exactly that. I love you, Al.”
“You love me?” Shock bounded her heart into overdrive and it thundered in her chest.
He grinned. “You should see your face.”
“I—we—you—” Words failed her.
“Yeah, I was pretty stunned too, but I’ve had a few weeks to get used to the idea. It’s not that far out there. You’re funny, great in bed and my best friend. What’s not to love?”
She blew out a breath, trying to make sense of what he was saying. Dan loved her? Easygoing, uncomplicated, relaxed Dan, who’d never committed to anyone, loved her? But amid the rush of delighted disbelief, she managed to ask, “What exactly does loving me mean, Dan?”
He picked up her hand. “Move in with me.”
“For how long?”
He frowned. “What?”
“Dan, have you ever been in a relationship for longer than a year?”
“Alice, I don’t see us having an end date. We can get married, if that’s important to you.”
“You’re proposing?” Disbelief made her voice squeak.
His brow wrinkled momentarily and then he grinned. “I guess I am.”
“But …” Her thoughts spun so fast she was dizzy. “But you said you never wanted to get married.”
“I didn’t, but you changed my mind. Just think, we can travel the world and have sex in every city.”
He was smiling at her and his eyes sparkled with desire. He cupped her cheeks, kissing her quickly—the touch a combination of love and lust. Then he was wrapping his arms around her and cuddling her in against him.
“You’re breaking the no-cuddling rule,” she teased, but tried it on for size anyway.
He stroked her hair. “I’ve wanted to do this since the night at Croajingolong.”
“That night did feel different.”
“Yeah. By then I’d given in and allowed myself to love you.”
Alice thought she understood. In the past six months, she’d experienced the occasional moments where she’d wondered if her feelings for Dan were stronger than just friends. But despite her delusions about Tim, she wasn’t a total masochist when it came to her heart. Dan had been very clear on their rules of engagement. No commitment. Just casual. They were friends with benefits and she’d taken him at his word. He wasn’t anyone’s man, except right now he was saying he wanted to be hers. Did she want this? Did she love him enough?
“What changed your mind?”
“There’s no longer a reason why we can’t be together.”
A reason? Alice revisited the rules. Each one had imposed emotional distance. Then the memory slammed into her. I’m not interested in commitment or kids. Spikes of heat jabbed her toes, spreading up her legs, before hitting her torso and drenching her.
She sat up, moving away from him. “Are you saying you allowed yourself to love me because I can’t have kids?”
He had the decency to look uncomfortable. “It doesn’t mean I’m not sad for you, Alice. I know you wanted kids, but think about it. It’s removed the only non-negotiable point of difference.”
She shook her head so fast her brain hurt. “Not wanting to have children and not being able to have them is completely different.”
“How?”
“I want children in my life.”
“I get that. You’d make a great teacher.”
“What’s that got to do with it?”
“It’s a way of having kids in your life. You’ve enjoyed tutoring Holly Waxman, so why not formalize it? I’ll happily support you financially while you do a master of education.”
His love and care both caressed and stung. “Dan, I want more than being on the periphery of kids’ lives. We’re only thirty-four. We could adopt or foster.”
He suddenly looked as serious as she’d ever seen him. “Alice, I said from the start, I don’t want to have kids.”
“Yes, but now you love me.”
“I do love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but there’s more than one way to get what you want out of life. You can get your kid fix teaching during the day and we get to enjoy the evenings, weekends and vacations together.” He stroked her cheek. “Just think about the trips we can take, the places we can visit and the fun we’ll have together. It’s win–win.”
He was offering her love and commitment—two of the three reasons she’d put herself through months of disastrous dates. But the chunk of her heart that still bled so easily whenever she thought about her inability to have children dripped red again. She couldn’t have kids. Dan didn’t want any. Was he right? Did that render their insurmountable difference moot?
Did Dan have a point? Tutoring Holly had brought her a lot of joy and shown her teaching was something she could do. Was teaching the solution to involving kids in her life? Before she’d learned she was infertile, she hadn’t wanted to pursue single parenthood. Now, there were absolutely no guarantees she’d ever meet a man who’d want to venture
