But right now, he was all in. Completely relaxed, completely absorbed.
“I love when you look at me like that,” she whispered, tracing his jaw with her fingertips.
“Like what?” He tugged at her outfit.
“Like I’m your whole world. Like nothing else exists outside of us, outside of this room. Like there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.”
And for the moment, she could believe that herself. She could push aside the worry about being pregnant, the anxiety of taking a test. Tomorrow she’d worry about how to tell him, what he’d say.
“There is nowhere else I’d rather be. I thought I’d been making that clear.”
The top of the jumpsuit puddled around her waist, thanks to his insistent fingers.
Sabrina sighed. “You say the best things.”
When he bothered to speak.
“So you’re really going to come to New Orleans with me?”
He tugged the elastic waist-band down over her hips and let it fall to the floor. His big hands skimmed up and down her thighs.
“If you want me to.”
Hell, at this rate, she’d follow him to the ends of the earth if he’d keep touching her.
“I want you to. I want you in my bed and in my arms from now until forever.”
“That can be arranged.” The words came out breathless and needy as his hands stroked her everywhere he could reach.
When the plane rolled to a stop at their gate in Atlanta, David decided he needed to ask the obvious question. Something had changed since they’d fallen asleep last night. He couldn’t pin point it but Sabrina had grown quieter the closer they’d gotten to home.
He took care of grabbing their luggage and then followed her outside to the parking deck. Years ago, he’d learned to heed the intuition telling him something was wrong.
He just couldn’t imagine what it was. They’d had an incredible time. The weather had been perfect. He’d gotten to hang out with his idol and two beautiful women. They’d shopped till they’d dropped. Almost literally according to Marissa’s security detail.
And they’d decided Sabrina would join him in New Orleans. Things were looking up. She loved him, and she was willing to travel with him until he found something permanent. Hopefully near Roseville where many of their friends were.
He finally felt like everything was exactly as it should be. For maybe the first time ever.
What if she’d changed her mind?
He didn’t think that was it. Especially after she’d told him she was willing to move to New Orleans to be with him. That news had put him on cloud nine. They’d spent an hour looking at neighborhoods, restaurants, and tours, planning their future.
Regardless of the job there or this opportunity with Allen, he was ready to take the next steps with her.
He couldn’t imagine the rest of his life without her by his side, in his bed, drinking coffee across the table each morning.
It almost scared him how easily they got along. She didn’t complain about anything.
“So,” he said, once they were settled into her car. He didn’t turn on the ignition. “What’s wrong?”
He watched her closely, knowing in his gut he’d get the truth from her, but at the same time his heart was wary. Was he ready for the truth?
She took a deep breath and met his gaze.
“I’m late.”
It took several seconds for the two words to register. Independently, he knew what they meant, but together…
The air whooshed out of him.
He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but that wasn’t it.
He hit the start button and put the car in reverse. A cloud of numbness settled over him and he embraced it.
“I know that’s probably not what you wanted to hear.”
Understatement of the fucking century.
His jaw tightened.
How had this happened? He always, always used condoms.
They weren’t fool proof, though. They weren’t one hundred percent effective. He knew that.
That didn’t stop the burning in his chest. This couldn’t be happening.
“How late?”
Sabrina, the Sabrina he knew and loved, was level headed. He didn’t think she was the type to freak out because her period was a day late. Which meant that she was really late. Late enough to cause concern.
“Nine days.”
His thoughts splintered in a dozen directions. He managed to keep the car pointed toward home, her apartment. But the memories, the agony of losing Samuel took over.
What were the chances?
They’d just talked about not wanting children.
He should have told her then. Every time he opened his mouth to, he found he couldn’t. After all the things he’d seen, the things he’d been asked to do in the name of his country, losing Samuel was the worst. The hardest.
He’d never imagined that when he’d hugged his little boy goodbye, it would be the last time.
The farther they drove, the harder his heart pounded. This couldn’t be happening again. Lightning didn’t strike the same place twice.
“Aren’t you going to say something?”
What he wanted to do was scream. He wanted to shout at how he wasn’t ready, how he’d never be ready again, how he couldn’t go through swaddling another baby who might be taken from him. He just didn’t have it in him.
But her hand slid across his thigh and quieted his rising terror.
Accelerating onto the highway, he debated his next words. But he felt trapped. He had to drop her off, see her home safely. Then he needed to think. To wrap his mind around what was happening.
“It’s a surprise.”
There was a long pause. “I know. I need to take a test, obviously. I didn’t want to ruin our weekend.”
Losing a child ruined more than a weekend.
She seemed so calm. How could she be so calm? Hadn’t she just said yesterday that she wanted to be an aunt rather than a mom?
The exits flew by and when he saw the speedometer ticking skyward he eased up. No matter how raw he felt, he couldn’t endanger their lives.
He, better than most, knew how easy a car could kill.
When they arrived back at her apartment, he killed the ignition and got out
