I can’t right now.
Work out in my head.
What things?
Coldness numbed her to her marrow.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Not her weekend. Not them.
One step at a time. Don’t put the cart before the horse.
She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself.
Except… the horse was running away.
A fat tear escaped her lashes and rolled down her cheek.
Its twin cut a path down the other cheek and before she knew it, the floodgates opened. She swapped the mug for a pillow and welcomed the deluge.
That evening, Sabrina woke to a pounding headache and puffy eyes. The pounding didn’t let up and she realized there was someone at the door.
Her heart soared.
Puffy eyes forgotten, she raced down the steps from the loft bedroom and threw open the door.
Layla’s gasp told her all she needed to know about her appearance. After crying for almost a solid hour, and then sleeping the afternoon away, she was pretty sure she wasn’t looking her best.
“Hey, honey.”
Her partner’s sweet tone shattered Sabrina. Her bones and muscles gave as a fresh round of tears filled her eyes and Layla caught her on the way to the floor.
“Come on, let’s get you to the couch. It’s going to be okay.”
Sabrina wasn’t so sure. He was her person. He had always been her person. If he didn’t come around, sort out whatever the issue was, if he decided it was all too much…it’d never be okay again.
“Let me put the ice cream in the fridge.”
“Ice cream?”
Layla wrapped a throw blanket around Sabrina’s shoulders. “I called David when I couldn’t get ahold of you. You broke our check-in rule, young lady.”
Despite everything, the fiercely maternal tone brought a shade of a smile to Sabrina’s lips. They had a standing rule to text each other after they landed safely.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
She plucked four cartons of ice cream from the reusable grocery bag and headed for the kitchen. He must have told her. Would he tell someone he’d never met about the baby? Unless he’d told her, they were taking a break or…
Sabrina wasn’t sure where they stood. He said they’d figure it out. Hadn’t he? Or had she dreamed it?
Tomorrow, after she’d put herself together enough to go get a test, she’d call him.
There had to be some reason for him to just check out like that. Running was not David Jameson’s MO. He hadn’t run from hard work as a child. He hadn’t run from responsibilities in high school. He didn’t give in to a shitty, power hungry supervisor now.
“David told me,” Layla said, sitting down next to her, a carton of rich caramel ice cream in hand. She handed Sabrina a spoon and gave her a sad smile.
Sabrina huffed out a laugh. “I’m surprised he talked to you.”
She yanked at the lid, but it wouldn’t budge. After her crying jag and a restless afternoon, she felt drained. Weak. Inept.
Layla gently pried the carton away and popped off the cardboard lid before returning it to Sabrina’s hands.
“Thanks.”
“He didn’t want to. But I threatened to call his friends and cut off his balls.”
Sabrina choked on a spoonful of the creamy confection.
Layla was right there to pat her back.
“Men are quite attached to their balls,” her friend continued. “Anywho. Have you taken a test yet?”
Sabrina shook her head.
Layla didn’t miss a beat. “I brought you a couple different ones.”
Hiring Layla was the best decision she’d ever made. Sabrina had known it before, but today just drove the point home. For the first time in twenty-four hours she didn’t feel like her life was going off the rails.
There was another knock at the door.
“I’ll get it.”
She heard Jill’s voice a moment later.
“Oh, honey,” Jill murmured in that sweet way of hers.
Sabrina didn’t even care that her apartment was suddenly full of people. It was also full of ice cream and love and you couldn’t beat that.
“David called Teo who called Dylan,” Reya explained.
“How is he?” Sabrina asked, eager for news of him despite the raw ache in her chest.
“Teo says David’s really torn up,” Jill admitted, worry wrinkling her forehead.
That made her hurt all over again.
“I want to say men can be such jerks--”
“Preach,” Reya said.
The fact that Jill didn’t call David a jerk meant she must know what had happened in his past. That stung. Why was Sabrina the last to know? If it was this important, this devastating and life altering, shouldn’t the woman he claimed to love, be in on the secret?
Sabrina swallowed another heaping spoonful of heaven and wondered if she could stomach some wine.
“I appreciate you guys checking on me.”
“We’re here for you. No matter what,” Jill said.
She closed her eyes and finished feeling sorry for herself. Pity parties were allowed, in her opinion, but they should never stay longer than a good house guest.
David said they’d figure this out. She trusted that, trusted him. She’d promised to take a test and be in touch. It was time.
She handed the ice cream to Layla. “You said you brought tests?”
Her partner handed over the reusable grocery bag.
Sabrina nodded. It was time to move forward.
Peeing on a stick, as it turned out, was not as easy as she’d expected. As she hovered over the bowl, she was reminded of the episode at Jill’s Halloween party. In the future, she’d apply her costume a little more carefully.
So long as she didn’t have to fish out one of the test sticks, she’d be okay.
But four tests?
Thank goodness for that big glass of water and all those Kegel exercises she did.
When she had the tests lined up on the counter, she washed her hands and waited. Pacing the small bathroom, she tried to steady her breathing.
Everything would work out. She had to believe that. It may not be exactly how she’d envisioned things, but she was secure financially. Her circle of friends was dynamite. Thanks to a daily workout and conscientious diet, she was healthy.
She should have brought her phone with her.
