Continuing her path to the shower and back, she counted to sixty. Surely, she’d already waited a minute.
Holding her breath, she turned to the army of sticks on her vanity.
One line.
One line.
Not pregnant.
One pink line.
She double checked the boxes and her breath whooshed out. Relief filled her. Four tests couldn’t be wrong, could they?
There was a soft knock.
Breathing easier for the first time in days, she yanked open the door.
“Need a hug? More ice cream?” Layla asked.
Sabrina shook her head. “They all say not pregnant.”
“That’s what you were hoping for, right?” Sabrina appreciated the gentle way Layla asked that question.
As relieved as she was, there was a small part of her that wondered what might have been. Would David have changed his tune? Would they have settled down together, one big happy family? Their kids playing with Allen and Marissa’s kids?
She couldn’t quite imagine it. Children had never been in her cards. She’d never had a pregnancy scare before, but 36 hours had been enough to sort things out in her mind. If anything, her relief was profound.
Sabrina nodded.
“Good.” Layla put her arm around Sabrina’s waist and they headed back to the living room.
“I suppose more ice cream wouldn’t be totally out of the question,” Sabrina said. Jill and Reya were devouring a tub of chocolate fudge. “Just let me send a quick text.”
Part of her wanted to run to David and shout the good news. But the other half of her was still heartbroken, for him and herself, over the way he’d left earlier.
As she opened the text messaging app on her phone, there was another knock at the door.
“Are we expecting anyone else?” she asked.
“News travels fast in a small town,” Jill murmured with a shrug, but the others shook their heads.
Sabrina glanced through the peep hole and a jolt swept over her body. Excitement, relief, love, the Neapolitan of emotions.
David stood in the hall, looking nervous, anxious, maybe a little hopeful.
“Who is it?” Layla asked.
Sabrina turned, glancing at her friends as if she’d find answers there. Should she just let him in? Was she ready to hear what he had to say?
“David.”
They all stared at her and then Layla’s brows lifted as if she thought Sabrina needed her head examined.
Maybe she did.
She could text him, as planned. He needed to know what the tests had said. But she needed to know why he’d reacted the way he had. And she needed to know where they stood.
Taking a deep breath, she flicked the lock and pulled the door open halfway, afraid of what he might have to say. The part of her that had been let down so many times over the years was on full alert. Secretly, she was terrified that he would end things, regardless of what the tests said.
Her stomach rolled at the idea, but she stood straight.
He looked like he hadn’t a moment’s peace since he’d dropped her off. There was a small bit of satisfaction in that.
“Hi,” she said to fill the silence.
“I had a son.”
Those four words were like a bucket of ice water over the top of her head. Behind her, she heard the restless shifts of her girlfriends. She opened the door a little wider, so he’d see they weren’t alone. Leaning heavily on the door knob, she stared at him.
Had a son? Past tense?
The pain on his face mirrored the wounds inside her and once again, she felt weak. Almost light headed.
That was big news. News that maybe he should have shared when she’d put her heart and soul on the table weeks ago.
Was this the big secret everyone else knew?
And he waited until now to tell her.
Had he been married?
Would he have ever told her about the fact he’d fathered a child? Or was this some need to know crap?
“Sabrina…let me explain.” His voice was rough, pained, begging.
Suddenly she wasn’t sure she wanted an explanation. The idea that he’d been serious enough with someone else, had fathered a child with someone else, it was just… Everyone had known but her.
Her heart ached, and she felt like she couldn’t catch her breath.
But she’d regret not hearing him out. Once, they’d been so close they hadn’t had any secrets. Over time, emotions and secrets had crept in to drive a wedge.
She didn’t want any more secrets. No more shadows lurking, threatening her heart and peace of mind.
“I think you should come in.” She needed to sit down for this story.
She stepped away from the door, too wound up to be gracious. Layla and the others stood.
“We should go,” Jill said.
“Call you later,” Layla said.
Sabrina nodded. “Thanks for coming you guys. I appreciate it.”
They said hello to David as they left. Jill gave him a hug.
Sabrina settled into the corner of the couch, feeling like she was watching events unfold rather than living them. David folded his tall frame into the other end of the sofa and braced his elbows on his knees.
“I met Vanessa shortly before I made it into the SEALs. A few months later she got pregnant.” He licked his lips. “It was a boy. She wanted to name him Samuel.”
He smiled then, his gaze far off.
So, this was why he'd freaked out. She almost didn't want to hear the rest but knew she needed to. His story was the key to his behavior and it’s where she’d find the answers she needed. All those times when she’d thought there were still shadows in his eyes, she’d know why.
“He was the most beautiful, perfect thing I'd ever seen,” he began. “I remember his face, his sweet little smile, a perfect mop of brown hair with sun streaked highlights.”
David's chest expanded on a deep inhale. She wanted to go to him. To wrap her arms around him, but everything felt so raw. As if she touched him she might break again. She honestly wasn’t sure she could stay composed, so she reached for a blanket and waited.
“I was deployed when
