“Yay.” Her hands clap together. “You’re not wearing that though, are you?”
I glance down at my yoga pants and pinch my oversized flannel that hides my growing baby bump. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I frown.
“It’s a party not whatever this is.” She waves a hand down the front of me “You can wear something of mine. It’s not a big deal.”
“I can change on the way it won’t take a but a few minutes to grab something from my apartment.”
“Okaayyy.” Her brows draw inward. “You wear my clothes all the time.”
“I’ve gained a few pounds, it’s no big deal.”
“Colter should be here soon. I think tonight could be the night if you know what I mean.”
“Oh. You sure you guys are ready for that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. We’ve been dating exclusively and he’s no virgin. Guys have expectations.”
“He’s not like pressuring you, is he?”
“No. He’s not like that.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Colter is one of the good ones. “How about I help you get ready for your big night.”
“You sure you’re okay? You know if you want to talk, I’m here.”
“I’m good.” What I can’t say is oh by the way I’m pregnant. It’s your dad’s kid. We’re in love, and I hope one day you’ll be okay with us being together. I’ve imagined the conversation in my head a gazillion times. None of the imaginary scenarios I’ve created have ended well. Rochelle can’t know the truth. Not yet anyway.
“You’ve not mentioned the guy you were so hush hush about lately. You still talking or whatever?”
“Kind of...complicated.”
“This is the older dude, right?”
“Mhmm. He works out of town a lot so you know.”
“I thought you said he’s in college?”
“Did I?”
“When am I going to meet him? You haven’t even given me a name. I’m your best friend. If you can’t tell me about him, then maybe it’s not a relationship you should be in.”
“I don’t want to fight about this. You know how nuts my parents are. They’ll like have him arrested or something.”
“Can they do that?”
“I don’t think so, but the threat would do plenty of damage.”
“Well enough about this mystery guy. Tonight we’re having fun.”
“Woo. Fun.” I hold up a red V-neck shirt. “What about this with your ripped jeans?”
“You think it’ll look okay?”
“Colter’s a motorcycle man. He’ll love you in anything honestly.”
“Like you know a lot about motorcycle men.” She giggles. “Wait. It’s not someone in my dad’s club, right?”
“What makes you ask me that?”
“Nothing. It’s just I thought I heard Colter and his dad talking about you being at the clubhouse, but I must’ve heard wrong. Or maybe they were talking about a different Alexa.”
“Probably.”
“Girls, Colter’s here,” Ruthie yells down the hall.
“Let’s go.”
“Ro, wait. Promise me you guys will use protection.”
“Yeah sure. I mean you and Todd must’ve done it like a million times without anything though, right? And you didn’t get pregnant.”
“Something like that,” I lie. I hate lying to Rochelle, but I don’t have much of a choice.
Colter barely speaks to me, and I wonder if he knows that I’m pregnant. We’re about to go out the door when James enters through the garage. I didn’t even hear his motorcycle pull up. Was he already here and hiding out there the whole time? His gaze meets mine briefly and I smile. He scowls at his shoes. Is he upset that I’m here?
“Where are you kids headed off to?”
“A party. We just gotta swing by Alexa’s first so she can change.”
He arches his brows at me, and I kinda do this weird shoulder lift thing while trying not to draw attention to myself.
“We don’t want to keep you guys. Your father and I are going to dinner. It’s the anniversary of our first date.” Ruthie grabs his hand and kisses his cheek.
My heart carves itself out of my chest. He’s taking her to dinner. That doesn’t sound like a man who is trying to leave his wife. I want to scream for Ruthie to stop touching him. To tell her that I’m having his baby, and that it’s me he loves and not her, but I can’t do that.
I can feel his gaze on me as I stare at the floor biting back my tears. Does he know that this is torment for me? Does he even care? His wife just ripped my heart out. This...us...our lies...its’ tearing me apart.
“We should go,” Colter says, and I’m grateful. I need to get out of here. I need away from Ruthie. James too, before I break.
“Happy anniversary,” I mumble and start out the door. I’m halfway to Colter’s Camaro when I hear my name.
“Alexa.”
“What’s my dad want with you?”
“The um car...the car I might get. I asked if he’d look at it for me.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I wait for Rochelle to get in and close the door before I turn back to him.
“What is it?”
“Where are you guys going?”
“Why do you care?”
“Lex, you know things are tense right now.”
I want so badly for him to take me in his arms and tell me everything will be okay, but I know he can’t. It’s agony to have him right here and yet so far away. I’m tired of pretending. “I don’t think I can do this. Watching you with her. Not be able to touch you when I want. I love you, but this is too much.”
“You know the score, babe.” He shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Yeah so why do I feel as though I’m on the losing team?”
He steps forward and I step back. My heart is hammering all the way up in my throat. If he touches me it will all be over. The truth will be exposed, and I’ll lose him and Rochelle forever.
Speaking of the wicked cunt. Ruthie steps into the garage. “Everything okay out here?”
I sniffle as he turns to face his wife wishing he’d make a stand and tell her he’s done with her, that he’s going to be with me,
