“Dog,” Sarge said as he sat down at the table with me. Gunny pulled a chair out and sat down as well.
It seemed I spent most of my time in the Great Room of the Clubhouse. I couldn't sleep in our room here or at our house. I wouldn't even go in either place to get clothes. My mom got everything for me. I knew I couldn't be alone. Not now, not yet. I still wasn't one hundred percent sure that I wouldn't eat a bullet if I was by myself. I had to be here for Beau, and if I took my own life, I knew I would be letting Beth down, and I didn't want to do that, Ever. Even if she was no longer here.
“Yeah, Sarge?”
I glanced at Sarge and Gunny. They had news. I could feel it. I could tell by Sarge's demeanor that I wasn't going to like it.
“Found out about the man.”
“Tell me.”
“That was his third offense driving drunk. He's hit another car before but luckily there wasn't anyone killed. He's walked on all charges.”
“How the fuck did he manage to do that?” I inquired of Sarge, staring at him in disbelief.
Sarge coughed and ran a hand across his face. I glanced at Gunny and he had his jaw locked tight. I could tell he was just barely holding himself in check.
“His father is a judge in Rogers.”
I stood up fast, knocking my chair down.
“Fuck that,” I snarled, fury racing through my body.
Sarge looked at me grimly, “Yeah, his fucking father keeps getting the tickets and charges thrown out. Apparently, the judge thinks his son can do no wrong. As soon as his son wrecks one car, the judge buys him another one. Old family money or some such shit. The man hasn't had to face any consequences at all for any of his actions in life. He's fucking thirty years old and the only thing he does is party, drink and do drugs.”
“He's mine and he dies tonight.”
“We got to be smart about this, Dog. If not, we'll be the first to be questioned when he comes up dead.”
I stood there running my hands through my hair. That made me think about how Beth always ran her fingers through it. My gut clenched hard. We needed to think of a way to kill this motherfucker without the police looking at us.
“Any ideas? Because I fucking want him gone, like now.”
“Yeah, son. I do. It's going to take about a week to get all the kinks worked out so it doesn’t come back on us. And it won’t come back on us, that I promise.”
“I want my hands on him, Sarge.”
“I hear you, Dog. And you will. It will be your kill.”
“Beth, I made sure that bastard would never rip anyone else's life in two like he had mine. I snapped his fucking neck. Then I made the murder look like an accident. I wanted to pound on the motherfucker over and over, but I couldn't do that. Sarge had a plan and it had to be stuck to, but at least it was my kill. I hope you don't hate me for that Beth, I had to have justice for that bastard taking you and Angel away from me.”
I had been fucking devastated. I was twenty-three years old with a three-year-old son. If it hadn't been for Beau, I'm not sure if I would have survived. After the fucker was gone, I still walked around in a fog half the time. It took me several months to come completely back to the land of the living. My one constant was my connection with Beth. My son Beau.
I reached up and rubbed my heart, “Fuck, Beth. I know we had that morbid talk during our first year of marriage. How the fuck I let you talk me into watching A Star is Born, I'll never know. It's fucking ironic that you died the same way the character John did in the movie. You made me promise to find someone else if anything ever happened to you. I never have. No one has ever caught and held my attention. I've literally felt nothing for another woman. Ever.”
I leaned down and put a yellow rose on her grave. It was her favorite flower. She always told me not to buy her a dozen, she hated that they died. But one, she told me, one, she'd take one.
“I have to admit though, lately I’ve felt so lonely. Like life is passing me by. I don't know, maybe I was meant to be alone.”
I looked at the top name carved into the headstone, Beth Lillian Brown, then at the words underneath it, Beloved Wife, Mother, and Daughter. “I love you pretty lady, I always will.”
I squatted down and brushed my fingers across my daughter's name which was under Beth's name. Angel Noelle Brown. We had buried them together in the same casket.
“Hey baby girl. Daddy loves you and he will always miss you. Take care of your mommy for me, okay? I'll see you one day, baby girl, then you and Daddy can play. How's that sound?”
I placed a bundle of lavender tied with twine next to the rose.
“Angel, I never got the chance to learn what your favorite flower was, but your mama sure loved the color purple and she loved the smell of lavender. So, baby girl, Daddy brought you those so you could have your very own flowers.”
I stood back up and brushed my hands off.
“I'm gonna go now, Beth. I want you to know, baby, that I will always love you. Forever
