Just then, Ruth came over the speaker. “Prepare for immediate maneuvering. Captain to the bridge, please.”
I ran for the transit. Gene gave me priority, without my even asking. I ran out and across to the bridge. Topper sang out, “Captain on the bridge.” I replied, “As you were. Report.”
Sally said, “Ship came out of FTL, apparently from Squirrel space. We are preparing to intercept. Do you want the conn, Boss?”
“Yes, please. Ruth, are you ready on the jump?”
“Yes, Boss.”
“Topper, give them the full light show. That will give Tex a few seconds to work.”
“Yes, Boss.”
“Tex, drive killer, stunner, and launch drones. Let’s put a stop to this nonsense.”
“Yes, Boss.”
“Jump, Ruth. Gene, page Abe and Pete to the landing bay, please.”
“On it, Boss.” Topper filtered the feed to the screen, so that it wasn’t as bright this time. Sensors called, “I show them all stunned, Boss. No self-destruct in evidence.”
Sally said, “Abe and Pete are away.”
“Ask Scotti which bay she wants that ship in. Bring it aboard once the Marines have it cleared.”
“Yes, Boss.”
“Tell Angus he has more guests.”
Sally said, “Already taken care of, Boss.”
“Nicely done.”
Topper said, “Incoming from Morning Flower.”
“On speaker, please.”
“Bawb, you are fast! We can’t take them down like that.”
“I offered you the Gene, and you didn’t want it. Have you changed your mind?”
“No, Bawb. I like to fly the fighters. What are we going to do with so many of the short people?”
“I guess I’ll have to take them home, sooner or later.”
“I know you went there once already. Won’t they be waiting for you this time?”
“Probably. Guess we’ll just have to be sneaky.”
“Bawb is the right person for that.”
“Glad you think so. I better get back to work. Talk to you later.”
“Bye, Bawb.”
I hadn’t noticed Nikki coming onto the bridge. She spoke up. “At least you have the Morning Flower stamp of approval, Captain.”
“One point for me, I suppose. Was there something you would have done differently?”
“Not at all. I didn’t mean to make it sound as if I didn’t approve.”
Sally said, “Scotti reports all secure, clear to maneuver.”
I said, “Ruth, take us back to where we were, please.”
“On it, Boss.” The intercom came alive with, “Prepare for FTL in one minute. FTL in one minute.” Once we had settled back into normal space, Topper said, “Scotti for you, Captain.”
“Put her on.”
“Boss, I think we may have made a mistake.”
“Is it fixable?”
“I don’t know at this time.”
“What is it?”
“The ship we just brought aboard isn’t a warship like the three down on the planet. I think we just captured a merchant vessel.”
“Oh crap! You mean we’re pirates?”
“Well, we haven’t actually hurt them, or taken any of their cargo, so I don’t think anyone could call us pirates, just yet, but if I were them, I certainly wouldn’t see it as a gesture of friendship.”
“Thanks for the update. I better get down to the brig and see if I can smooth things over.”
“Later, Boss.”
“Sally, you have the conn. Gene, page the Branhams, the Sloans, and Lakki Witti to the brig, ass-ape.”
Sally said, “My ship.”, right before Gene said, “On it, Boss.”
Nikki followed me to the transit. On the way, she asked, “Do you think we can make this right with them?”
“I hope so, but the kind of luck we’ve had with these folks so far, I wouldn’t risk any money on it.”
We came out of the transit to find Lakki waiting. “What do you need, Captain?”
“A time machine, to go back a few minutes and tell myself not to be an idiot. The vessel we just attacked appears to be a merchant vessel.”
Lakki replied, “Oh! Good! You’ve already opened negotiations, I won’t have to waste time trying to explain cultural differences.”
You could have knocked me over with a feather. I asked, “Come over that one more time, slowly, for us stupid monkeys?”
“You’ve shown them that they exist at your mercy. I don’t have to convince them that it’s necessary to bargain with you, they can see for themselves they don’t have a chance of stealing your goods and escaping with them.”
Dingus had arrived while we were talking. He said, “Now I understand. I dealt with a few people like that before I went in the box. If you don’t prove to them that you can hold on to what you have, they don’t see any reason not to just take it from you, when they get the chance. Makes it so much easier than having to trade for things.”
I studied on all that for a moment. “You mean, I’ve been doing this all wrong, trying to be nice to these idiots?”
Dingus said, “Not all wrong. If you hadn’t shown them some respect, that would have been just as bad.”
Lakki said, “He understands. If you can get him to explain it to you, Captain, you’ll be able to deal with these folks.”
I replied, “I think I see what you two are saying, but it is a little different than the way I’m used to doing business.”
Lakki said, “You need to get used to it, if you want to do business with my people.”
Nikki spoke up. “C’mon, Bob, I’ve seen you buy used cars. You know how to do this.”
The dim bulb over my head finally got a few volts to play with. “Oh, I see. That’s how they play, huh? I’ve been lighting up the big red ‘Easy Mark’ sign every time I open my mouth, haven’t I?”
Dingus said, “Maybe not every time, but close.”
John and Jane showed up about then. John asked, “What did Bob do now?”
I replied, “Apparently, these folks don’t respect you in a negotiation,
