I’d taken some time to delve into the world of job opportunities, but it was overwhelming. There was a lot out there for someone with my qualifications, and though many of them sounded just as boring as what I was currently doing, it wasn’t all of them. Many of them were also in the U.S., which would bring me closer to Dax. The problem with all of that was him, though. If he still hadn’t made any decisions, I couldn’t even begin to work on a way for us to be together. Assuming he wanted to be together anymore.
I tried not to put Ian in the middle, but I’d asked him recently if Dax was dating anyone and he’d told me no. He wouldn’t say much else, but he’d assured me Dax hadn’t found anyone else. So I had a tiny bit of hope. Now all I had to do was think of a way to get us speaking again. My attempts to reach out via text had been ignored, and while I didn’t blame him, it hurt.
We were going to see each other in two weeks and I was both dreading it and excited about it. There would be too many of us for it to be awkward, but hopefully the distractions would allow me to gauge how he was feeling about me. If he still loved me. I didn’t have any answers yet, there was just too much up in the air, but I’d come to realize I needed him as much as I loved him. Somehow, we had to find a way to make this work. My dissatisfaction with my job wasn’t the reason I’d come to these conclusions, but it was the catalyst that made me take a much harder look at my life.
I’d somehow gotten used to the loneliness because of my big family, but now that the lads were busy and rarely home, Ian was married and thousands of miles away, and my work no longer made up for the emptiness of my personal life, I’d become acutely aware of how much I’d been missing. I needed more than just work, but I also needed work that was more fulfilling than what I was doing now. I’d signed off on next semester’s schedule, but I was debating whether or not I was actually coming back. I hated to resign mid-year, no matter how frustrated I was, which left me torn about many aspects of my life.
More than anything, I wanted Dax back. There had to be a way to have a career and the man I loved, and if that meant compromise, I was willing to be a lot more flexible than I’d thought I’d be. I still didn’t understand this whole bodyguard thing, but I needed to have a more open mind so we could talk about it. Too bad he wasn’t returning my texts.
If I’d thought I’d have a plan by the time I got to Las Vegas, I would have been wrong. I’d hoped to have some answers from a professional perspective before seeing Dax again, but nothing had changed. I had options, but I couldn’t make decisions without his input. And he’d been painfully polite since I’d arrived, avoiding me except when he absolutely couldn’t, and since I didn’t know what I was doing either, I hadn’t pushed it.
The holidays mostly sucked for me because of it, and though Ian and Everly did their best to keep my spirits up, I was considering not going to Limaj with everyone. I had a miserable semester of teaching coming up, and the last thing I needed right now was to spend any more of my holiday being ghosted by the man I loved. I’d had a few great nights with the WAGs, whom I genuinely loved, but it wasn’t the same as being with Dax, and I ached to find some excuse that would force him to talk to me.
“Do it now,” Everly hissed under her breath. It was the final home game before the new year and we were in the family lounge waiting for the guys to join us. We were supposed to leave for Limaj tomorrow night and I’d been debating flying to Scotland instead, but Everly had been adamant that I shouldn’t.
“I can’t do it here at the arena,” I murmured.
“Yes, you can. Catch him in the hallway and ask him for a minute. Dammit, Isla, don’t make me get involved.” Her blue eyes were glittering with intensity.
“Fine.” I figured she’d do something to embarrass us, so I wiped my hands on my jeans and moved to the door. From this vantage point, I could see the guys coming down the hall and the first couple were already heading this way. I didn’t know why I was so nervous, it wasn’t like Dax would be a jerk or anything, especially not somewhere so public, but we had to talk. If nothing else, I had to let him know how I truly felt, how much he meant to me.
When I saw him coming down the hallway with Zaan, my stomach clenched a little, but I took a deep breath and stepped outside the door when he was just a few feet away.
“Hey, Isla.” Zaan smiled at me.
“Hello, Zaan.” I turned to Dax. “Do you think we could talk for a few minutes? I need to… Well, there’s something on my mind.”
“See you later.” Zaan made a quick exit and walked into the family lounge, giving us a little privacy.
Dax was quiet for
