“You aren’t making me miserable because you’re upset that your leg is paralyzed, tart. In my opinion, that’s a legitimate reason to let someone comfort you for five minutes without feeling weak.”
She tipped her head to her shoulder and shrugged. “Thanks for going with me today. I know it was boring for you just sitting there.”
I shook my head, and grasped her hand in mine. “I wasn’t bored. I was focused on being there to support you. I know you normally do these things alone, but you don’t have to anymore. You’re not putting me out by asking me to be there to support you, okay?”
She set the bottle down and nodded, rubbing her face with her hands. “Okay.”
I gathered her into me and held her, the resignation in her shoulder blades heartbreaking to me. She was trying so hard to be strong, but the news like she got today would change a person no matter how positive they tried to remain.
“I should go to Hay-Hay’s,” she whispered, grasping my shirt in her hand tightly. “I promised her.”
My hand rubbed her shoulder, and I nodded against the top of her head. “Take some time first. Take some time to accept what happened before you have to tell someone else about it. I love you,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I know you’re a strong woman, but even strong women need a little extra TLC sometimes.”
“I’m angry,” she whispered, the weight of her words pushing hard against me. “I’m angry that everyone else in my family walked away from that night uninjured. They all carry scars, but none of them were physically hurt the way I was. Then I get angry at myself because I lived while other families lost their loved ones. Maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t survived—”
“No!” I grasped her shoulders and pushed her out away from me, finding her gaze and holding it. “God, sweetart, don’t ever say that again.”
“It’s not untrue, Bishop. I’ve been a burden since the day it happened. First to my family, and now you. That’s not fair!”
I loosened my hands on her shoulders but didn’t move them. “No, none of this is fair, tart. But none of it is your fault, either. You aren’t a burden.”
Her sarcastic laughter filled the living room. “Shows what you know. I can’t wait to tell my parents this one. There will be much sighing and moaning about how much it will impact their life again.”
I grasped her chin and held it gently. “You are mine now. I told you that before, and you told me you understood. Since you clearly don’t understand, you’re going to have to repeat that assignment.”
“Bishop...”
“Don’t Bishop me. I will have to teach you that lesson again later, but for right now, let me tell you this. I don’t care what your parents think about the news you got today. They’re inconsequential to your health now that you have me. They don’t get to act put out about it anymore, and if they do, I will set them straight.”
“Not a good idea,” she whispered, dropping her eyes. “I might have to live with them again someday.”
I tipped her chin up until she made eye contact again. “Not unless it’s your choice. I have already made you my beneficiary, and you will always have a place in this house, whether I’m alive or dead. That said, I am not giving up on you, Amber Halla. I don’t care if your leg doesn’t work the same way mine does. Take notes, because this is important. Fuck everything your parents ever made you think about yourself except this one thing. You have enough determination to make the life that you want for yourself, even if you have to work around a few things to do it.”
“I thought you were going to say I was strong,” she said on a fake laugh.
“You are,” I said, stealing a kiss from her sweet lips. “But you don’t have to be strong all the time. Sometimes, you get to feel weak and not feel bad about it. Your parents pushed you to be strong, but instead, they just pushed you into feeling like you could never be weak. That you could never just take an hour to let out a breath and grieve for what you lost that day, and they just added insult to injury by doing that. I’m not judging them. I can imagine the guilt they deal with as parents seeing their daughter so broken by the decisions they made. They’re not here right now, though. We’re here at this moment, right?” I asked, and her head nodded. “Then we’re the only two who matter. It is okay to feel the loss you suffered today, tart. You can let it roll over you here where it’s safe, and you don’t have to respect my feelings. I’m here for you and your feelings.”
“I don’t know how to feel,” she admitted, her eyes dropping to the buttons on my shirt. “I just want to go see Hay-Hay and forget about it for a little bit.”
I stood up and took her hand, and she looked up at me in surprise. “Let me drive you down there, though. I’m sure your leg is sore from all the prodding they did.”
She stood up and finally made eye contact. “You’re not upset with me?”
My hand stroked her cheek, and I leaned in, kissing her softly. “No, sweetart, why would I be? Not knowing how to feel about this news is okay. When you do know how to feel, and if you do need comfort, then I’m here, and I’m ready to hold you. Okay?”
She nodded and wrapped her arms around me, allowing me to pick her up and cradle her against me while I carried her to the
