We wander through the quieter streets of the town, and I enjoy the bursts of greenery from the oak trees planted on the sidewalk.
“You seem thoughtful,” Nate says. “I hope you’re not regretting anything.”
“No.” I shake my head adamantly. “I’m just thinking about how pleasant this is. I’ve spent so much of my life planning five steps in advance, it’s nice to just enjoy the moment.”
Nate laughs. “I’ve spent most of my life trying to get to a point where I don’t have to plan. I wanted a steady life in a home I owned, and that’s what I’ve got.”
“You never wanted anything else?” I ask. “You just were ok being alone with your job and house?”
I’m prying, but my natural curiosity always gets the best of me.
Nate looks down at me, and I can tell he knows what I’m asking.
“I was married once,” he says. “I was young, and we only lasted a year before divorcing. It kinda turned me off the whole institution.”
It makes perfect sense. Nate is too much of a catch to have been totally single his whole life. And while I’m sure he could get any woman, he doesn’t have the vibe of a player. It’s clear he was burned once and has avoided commitments ever since.
I don’t mind. I don’t expect commitment from him. I have no intention of committing to this, that’s for sure.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “It sounds like a sad story.”
“It is,” Nate says. “Too sad for today. But don’t let me make you bitter. I wasn’t as smart as you are when I was young.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m book smart, it’s not the same thing as being wise in other ways.”
“Well, you have good instincts.” Nate snakes his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him so he can plant a kiss on me.
I look around, but the street is empty so I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him back with enthusiasm.
When we pull apart, he releases my waist, only to grab my hand in his. We walk like that for a little longer, slowly circling back to my place.
We spend the rest of the day together. When we’re hungry, Nate invites me over to his place for lunch. He makes grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup while I admire his sleek kitchen and lovely home. It’s clear that he’s spent a lot of time designing his house to be exactly what he wants. I admire that. Nate and I are different; I definitely analyze and stress over the future more. But I think we share a determination. We know what we want, and we both go after it. And right now, I do want Nate. It was silly for me to deny that.
After lunch, we curl up on his large leather couch and watch a movie.
Halfway through, Nate starts to rub his hands up and down my torso until suddenly his hand is under my sweater and caressing my bare skin.
I instantly lose interest in the movie and turn to kiss him. He makes love to me on the couch in a slow and sensual Sunday afternoon way.
Afterwards, I go back to my place because I really do want to get some studying done. Nate doesn’t object or try to convince me not to leave, and I appreciate that.
A few hours later, he shows up at my door with pizza. We eat and joke around, and then he tumbles me into the bed for a rigorous round. I fall into a deep sleep immediately after, our naked limbs tangled up together.
The next day, I head to campus for classes. Nate sees me off and then retreats into his own home for work.
All throughout my first two classes, I can’t stop smiling. Last week I was dazed and out of it, and this week I’m more focused, but every single thing is tinged with happiness, as if I’ve put on rose-tinted glasses.
I know I’m getting really attached to Nate in a really short span of time, but I tell myself it’s just sex. And he’s my first, so of course I’m getting caught up in the heady rush of sensuality.
Everyone is attached to their first. That’s what I’ve heard, anyway. I guess only time will tell how attached I end up being to Nate.
All I want to do is finish my classes so I can rush home to Nate so he can do more things to my body, but unfortunately I can’t leave campus early. I have a seminar at 3, so it doesn’t make sense to go all the way home. I head to the cafeteria to meet Becca and Tommy for lunch.
I give myself a stern talking-to as I enter the cafeteria. It won’t do any good to be all giggly in front of them, I don’t want them asking anymore questions. Becca especially will be on high-alert after the stupid online dating story I made up last week. And Tommy will definitely wonder why my mood has been so up and down. I don’t want to dig myself into a big hole of lies with my friends so I decide I need to not expand on my fake internet boyfriend. I’ll just tell them I had a restful weekend or something.
An image of Nate spanking me flashes through my head, and I snort. Restful, indeed.
I see Becca at a table in the corner, and I wave. I head over and set my bag down.
“Hey,” I say. “I’m gonna go grab food.”
I walk slowly through the stations, weighing my options. The truth is, I’m taking a long time on purpose. The longer I take to select food, the less time I have to sit at lunch. I love my friends, but I’m really not in the mood to dodge their questions. Right now, Nate is so new, and I want to keep him private. He belongs to me, and me only. I
