He could leave and never return to the Randall household. Yes. He should do that. But what about Eric? And Jim still had no friends at all.
Kayla was there. Looking so pretty she made him ache. He wanted to be there too.
He flopped dejectedly into his car, remembering how socially awkward and strange he felt when he was not in his familiar role as pastor. He knew what to do in that role. He executed it convincingly, he was sure of that. Without those parameters, he had to rely on his bluntness, and his nerves sometimes made him too abrupt or borderline rude.
Things changed significantly between him and Kayla but he was not adjusted yet. As he speculated over the possibilities, he could only ask what did he do with her now?
Jim was impossible. Worse than she ever dared think. Good God. He decided to make friends with Eric James? Eric, who all but stole his fiancée? Eric, who wasn’t anything like him?
And… He only did it because she said he needed to find a friend? It was hard not to be confused and kind of flattered by the strangeness that was Jim Zavarian.
Crap, he really did need a friend. Badly. He needed many things badly. Like socialization outside of the church. And a crash course on how to treat women. How to avoid being so blunt. She was all for being honest in sparring. She liked to press his buttons and annoy him as much as he liked pushing hers. It was always a mutual thrill between them. But now, after the huge change, he was mean. Rude. Dismissive.
And utterly horrified she might come to his church more often.
Not worried about her witnessing all the violence? And having sex with her sister’s fiancé? Quite a bit for one night. He did scare her, and yet he dared to assume she would just be business as usual about everything? He could have called her a slut and told her to stay as far away from his pious church as possible so she didn’t taint it or him.
Fuck him.
Anger curled her knuckles. She would have pounded her fist into the wall or counter or just screamed but Karlee was there. “You okay?”
“I… yes. I’m fine. Just surprised to see Jim visiting Eric. You know, Eric and Kathy are planning to stay together as soon as Eric’s back on his feet.”
“I didn’t know that. I knew she broke up with Jim. Figured that when he left the hospital without comforting her. I saw you two talking pretty seriously so I knew something was up. I asked and she said Jim and she realized they weren’t right. Duh. They had the chemistry you find between two rocks.”
Kayla burst into laughter. Leaning on the back of the dining room chair, she used it to hold herself up. It had been a long week. Yet her chill, little sister summarized all of it in Karlee’s dry, succinct way. “Uh-huh, they did lack any chemistry and, of course, you noticed. We all did. It took Kathy forever to realize it though.”
“Yeah. I would have told her if she didn’t catch on soon.”
The cool way Karlee mentioned something that gave Kayla stomach aches for two years, wondering what to do and when to tell Kathy that she would be miserable if she married Jim, impressed Kayla. Karlee could have tossed out that nugget whenever she felt like it. “Why do we treat you like the little sister still?”
“I honestly don’t know. Always wonder about it myself too. But whatever.” Karlee shrugged and went back to eating her bowl of cereal. It was four-thirty in the afternoon and there was no real reason for her to eat cereal now. Laughing eased the hurt. Jim hurt her feelings. Her pride. Her hope.
That was probably what stuck in her craw the most of all. She didn’t know what she was hoping for, but sex with Jim was very different from any other man she’d had it with. The thing was: for Kayla, sex never really meant very much. It certainly never made her feel weird in both a good and bad way. It also never embarrassed her. She had no idea what all the weird feelings she had were about. She could not believe she had weird feelings, as it turned out, for Jim. Jim who had the chemistry of a stupid rock. But not with her?
Lord, she got hot, not just warm, but steaming hot when she pictured him looking at her with his dark-eyed stare and unsmiling heat simmering inside.
She had hope. For what? She hadn’t figured that out yet. She never expected to run into the man in the hallway of her parents’ house. His ex-fiancée’s house. No. She didn’t expect Jim here. There was no way she could have prepared for that encounter. No words at the ready and she looked terrible. Too casual and plain. Not the way she’d have preferred that he see her the first time after they did it.
She almost sneered at herself. She couldn’t even utter the words she felt about Jim and her. She sounded like Kathy.
Karlee’s bowl of cereal looked like the perfect food to drown her embarrassment, frustration and hurt, so she grabbed a bowl and filled it with cereal and milk. Taking a big bite, she asked, “You don’t think it’s weird between Jim and Eric?”
Karlee crunched loudly before she finally swallowed and poured more cereal into her bowl. “Sure. But then Kathy dating the muscle-bound, hot bodyguard instead of the pastor is weirder. Although, it kind of makes sense, I guess. Opposites attract and all that. Maybe it’s that way with Eric and Jim.”
It was easier to laugh at her sense of hurt than to try to analyze it. Her nerves at seeing Jim made her edgy. Her desire to
